Post # 1
This is my first post, so yay! I need some fellow bride advice. My BFF/MOH got engaged last weekend (also YAY) and I will be her Maid/Matron of Honor in return. Today she mentioned that she was thinking of getting married 3 weeks before me. Not so yay. I’ve been engaged since December and had to push our wedding to April 2014 due to the venue being booked until that date when I went to look at it in February. I’m super stoked to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, but I’m worried that 3 weeks before my wedding I’m going to be going nuts with all the last minute stuff and won’t be able to focus my energy and attention on her and her day. How do I approach this? Is it doable to have her wedding 3 weeks before mine and not be super stressed? How do I approach this with her without sounding terrible?
Would love any suggestions from Bees who may have faced similar situations.
Post # 3
Dont stress you can do it. By the time you get to both of your weddings you’ll be so organised that the three weeks in between your weddings will certainly be enough time for you to do all of the little bits and pieces. Aim to have all of your major things for your wedding organised 1 month prior to her wedding, this will ensure you can throw your attention into being the best Maid/Matron of Honor without stressing about your big day.
This exact thing happened with a couple of my girlfriends and they managed it all successfuly and both had beautiful weddings and didnt stress anymore than a normal bride does in the couple of weeks before her wedding 🙂
My biggest piece of advice would be to ensure when you do things like dress and b/maid dress shopping etc you do it seperately. Neither of you will want to take away from the others special moments.
Sit down with her and have a good chat about what you both expect of each other as MOH’s to make sure you’re on the same page. I’d say she doesnt want to take away from your special time/day so getting it all out in the open early with clear the air and save you both from having any difficult conversations later down the track.
Post # 4
@AriannaN: you seem to be handling it well, but I would be beyond pissed off. What she is doing is not ok! She can’t wait another month or so for you to be married? If a friend did that to me I would no longer consider her a friend! 3 weeks before your wedding you need to be focusing on YOUR wedding. Being a Maid/Matron of Honor is a big responsibility and I don’t think it’s feasible to be a bride and a Maid/Matron of Honor at the same time. But I am neither very organized or calm under fire.
Post # 5
I don’t think this is a big deal, and certainly nothing to get upset over. She gets her one day, you get your one day. I never understood this mentality that “all energy and focus should be on the bride”. As long as each of you gets your bridesmaids dress, shows up on the day looking presentable, and maybe go out for a bachelorette if that is what you want, that’s all you need to do. You are not devoting all your waking hours of your life to wedding planning, and having a big party at your friends wedding a few weeks before would give you a night out to have fun and not worry about things.
Post # 6
@pixiecat: I agree, everyone gets one day! You guys will have so much fun planning together. I think three weeks is a perfect amount of time. I didn’t start feeling stressed until about 2 weeks out though.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for responding! I forgot one detail, which is that I’m planning long distance to where she lives and will rely on her a lot for on the ground support. She is getting married in our home town and will be there to do everything locally. I think that’s why it’s stressing me out. I will need to fly home for her wedding and then 3 weeks later fly home again for my own, and I have very limited vacation time from work so I will have to shorten my honeymoon to take time off for her wedding.
Post # 8
Just tell her you are honored and want to make sure she understands you rmay be dealing with your own deadlines. Make sure she understands from the start that another Bridesmaid or Best Man might have to pick up some slack right around the wedding. It should be fun sharing this time with your best friend! If she is that great of a friend, she will understand. Maybe the two of you can talk to Bridesmaid or Best Man #2 together to explain this situation/ask for help?