Post # 1
Hi Bee’s – For those of you who are mid-way are almost finished planning your wedding, I thought it might be interesting to share what has been the greatest challenge that you did not foresee. Probably the greatest challenge overall for my FI and I were his two unexpected job losses during our engagement. It’s been such a blessing now that he is no longer a contracter and a permanent full time employee. Outside of that, our guest list has been the most unexpected challenge. I thought it would fun putting together a list of everyone that we wanted at our wedding. It turned into a battle between my in-laws and me. It surfaced a lot of underlying issues between us to begin with. It took a long time for me to stop being angry at my MIL who didn’t understand when we cut our guest list from 150 to 100. Up until last weekend she tried to add 12 more people to the guest list, this is even after I ordered the wedding invitations. I have a great sense of relief now that the wedding invitations are out and it’s over. Share yours!
Post # 2
My biggest challenge was navigating family drama that cropped up as we planned. MIL had very strong opinions that often didn’t agree with mine, and she got to be very forceful sometimes. Trying to walk the line between pleasing others and getting what I wanted in my wedding became very challenging, at times. There are still things that were said and done that I’m hanging on to and that anger me, nearly a year after the wedding. I’m working on getting over them, but an apology, or concession of some of her rude behavior, would go a long way.
Post # 3
Yup family drama. An aunt that kept calling me trying to get reassurance that I wanted her there (an aunt who pretty much single handedly through many lies and a lot of manipulation destroyed my mom’s relationship with her family only a few months before). She eventually pushed me to my limit and I ended up screaming at her on the phone which I had to call and apologize for. She never did come!
I also went over the timeline of the day probably 50 times
Post # 4
Meant2Bee: Biggest challenge so far has been guest lists. My sisters who are bridesmaids are mostly organizing the shower and my other bridesmaids are helping, but not necessarily the most party-planner people. Well, the guest list for the couples shower was requested, so I went through and I made a comprehensive list of people I thought would be interested in coming. It was close to 70 people. I was told that it needed to be under 50 people. So I cut and cut, and cut. And in the end, it turns out the people I didn’t cut are the people who can’t make it, and that only about 4 people outside of wedding party are going to be coming. I’m a bit unhappy. I wish I could have just invited everyone and there might be closer to 30 people rather than the measly 19.
Post # 5
Just realizing that weddings cost SOOO much money! AH
Post # 6
Meant2Bee: My parents were my challenge, even early on, they very much had an idea of what they envisaged for the day.
Post # 7
well I’m only 6 months into my 18 month engagment- but so far the biggest challenge has been finding out I was filed as exempt from federal taxes. It was a filing error but the company I work for refuses to take responsibility. I now owe the IRS $4723. There goes my savings, state return, annual bonus, plus more. My checks are now considerable smaller because taxes are actually being taken out, and my boss cancelled my overtime right when this all happened. We’ve now had to push the honeymoon back a year since I virtually will contribute nothing to the wedding. Hopefully I can get my OT back, or something, because I hate not being able to help pay for my own damn wedding.
Post # 8
Dealing with wedding party’s attire – I hate asking people to spend money for me and I don’t like telling people what to do… but I kind of had to!
Post # 9
theEguarantee: wow. I can not imagine. I needed every penny of my tax return for the wedding. It basically covered 50% of our catering cost. I hope that everything works out and you have ana amazing wedding.
Post # 10
I am just over 6 weeks away from my wedding and for me the biggest challenge has been coordinating my three bridesmaids. Sometimes they can be so difficult to get a hold of and one of them is always MIA when it comes to paying for things. I put down her deposit for her dress and was never paid back and then when we were trying to schedule a time to pick up their dresses I could not get a hold of her. So I ended up purchasing her dress myself. Then my MOH and other bridesmaid hate each other and cannot agree on anything. They are planning the bachelorrette party and it has been kind of a nightmare. Every time I see one of them they tell me about all the awful things the other one is doing. It’s stressing me out. The only other big problem is working with the hotel. We are having our reception there and a lot of our guests are staying there. The woman in charge of the room block never answers or calls me back when I leave messages and I am always having to go around her to get anything done. Other than that things have gone faily smoothly with only a few minor hiccups.
Post # 11
My DH was diagnosed with something life threatening just before our wedding. I actually loved planning our wedding but there were times when I’d genuinely worry that he might not live to see the day and this, alone, was the biggest challenge I faced.
I’m happy to say we had the perfect wedding day and now, nearly a year later, he’s been given the all clear, healthwise too!
Post # 12
My wedding is over, but I was surprised by how hard it was to find a dress I loved. It was aalmost a year long two dress process.
Post # 13
People have OPINIONS about everything! My mom is a very easy going person who always lets me do my own thing — and the moment I got engaged, she had an opinion (I use that word loosely) about everything. FI’s parents already have super strong opinions and that was magnified by eleventy-billion once we got engaged.
So we went from having a small (parents and siblings only) destination wedding to a 250-300 person wedding in my hometown…and the wedding is still 14 months away.
Post # 14
Meant2Bee: I have really struggled with asking people for things. Especially my bridesmaids. I get all worried I’m being pushy or asking too much. every time I bring anything to them they’re really excited about it but I still worry.
for reference I’m not asking for crazy stuff. Just picked out an $80 dress and asked them to accessorize in gold items of their choice.
Post # 15
The hardest part for us was FI quitting his job in August to move closer to me and then being unable to find a job in his field until 3 weeks ago. It put us seriously behind on our budget and now we are pinching every penny we can to make sure we have enough to cover everything.
The other part is the fact that the first person who altered my dress completely messed it up. So we are out $350 and having to pay almost $500 to have another seamstress rebuild it.