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We lived together four years before getting married, so nothing major has changed. But, I have noticed a few minor things since the wedding:
1. I traded in all my fashion magazine subscriptions for house magazines. I used to LOVE getting my Glamour in the mail every month. But shortly after the wedding, I wasn't as into it. I don't know why. But I'm definitely in love with my Martha Stewart and Better Homes mags now.
2. We both feel justified in staying in a lot more and entertaining at home, and we're relieved that our single friends understand that now. Before the engagement/wedding, our single friends would always invite/pressure us to go out bar-hopping with them, and it's just NOT our thing. Now that we're married, we can just say, "Sorry, old married couple here, we're staying in," and the friends say, "Okay!"
3. We started doing laundry together. It's weird thinking about it, but even when we lived together, we always did separate "his and hers" loads. Now we combine everything and share it.
1) Getting used to the way HE wants the house cleaned. It's not "my" domain any longer!
2) More towels in the bathroom. two toothbrushes, two toothpasts, two sets of razors, two sets of face soap, etc. Lots of crap in there.
3) He feeds the kitties now. sniff. They still know i'm their mommy though.
4) Buying all that food for 2. YIKES. Grocery bill UP.
5) Making sure it's ok I go to the gym at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon. Ya know, in case he had a romantic dinner planned, lol
6) DVRing his shows, too. Deleting mine when I watch them. Heaven forbid I leave a watched episode of Bridezillas in the queque.
7) Having dinner with his friends (married) instead of my friends (single)
8) Shutting the bathroom door when I go poo. He doesn't need to see/hear that.
9) No joint tofu dishes. I like, he doesn't.
I agree with Ms. Chapstick, we dont stay out as late as we used to, we leave our friends after 12MN to do our own thing or come home for alone time
I agree with Ejs48...#2 more of everything and number 7
We lived together for nearly 7 years before we got married, so nothing in day-to-day life has changed. When we got back from our honeymoon though we decided we needed more storage for wedding gifts (yay) so went and bought a whole bunch of new furniture and redecorated our living areas - it feels like a new house! I would definitely recommend this to anyone already living together wondering what will feel different. It's been great. Good thing to spend wedding gift money on too!
Other than that, the differences have been emotional - I feel more connected to him, and him to me. We are truly a team, even more so than we were before, and it just *feels* different. I love it!
This is very interesting, good thread! I keep wondering what will be different come May 23rd when the wedding is over, the guest are gone and it's just us. But we have lived together for 3 years now so the bills wont' change much but I'm sure the "we" and not "me" language and the in-laws-as-family thing will be a big difference.
making decisions, especially about money, going out, and what to watch...TOGETHER.
We both still have a lot of selfishness...it takes a long time to get used to compromise and giving up your way all the time. The first couple months of marriage there was still a lot to get used to, but 8 months later those are the things on my mind!
I agree with lattelove; now I have to include him in my future longterm plans and vice versa I used to just have to think of myself; now it's blended goals, can be a challenge--like where to live long-term, how to go about reaching our golas so we are both satisfied
also my hubby does his best to make me happy; it's true happy wife happy life; if I am not happy the hubby is also not happy, I asked why he said because we are together now, awwwww
Note: We moved in together about a year before we got married...
I'm starting to become more of a cook. Before getting married and moving in together, I used to be afraid of cooking because my cooking wasn't that good. Now that I have cooked a bunch of things, that DH actually likes, it has raised my view on what I think of my cooking. It's actually not that bad. I'm no where near a cook but I can definitely read a recipee and now and then actually improvise and it turn out pretty good. I enjoy baking, even though my DH doesn't like sweets. I actually make stuff knowing that I can bring it into work for my coworkers.
He really wanted Elton John and Billy Joel tickets. I suprised him and got them for him but want to know what I asked for in return. A chest freezer. I've turned into a real wife alright. May sound like a boring gift, but I've been wanting a chest freezer for about 6 months now. He says we don't have space for it but it annoys me because our freezer is too small and I need more room. I'm actually excited about getting one.
I no longer buy things for myself. (well little things, here and there, of course) I started thinking what do WE need. Or, do I really want that? Do I really need that?
Showing him things, his mom didn't. Why we load the dishwasher a certain way? Not just yelling at him that he did it wrong but telling him that if you don't load it a certain way it won't get clean. I'm doing this too for practice for when we have our own kids. I know my parents would never explain anything to me.
Almost everytime I see something on the tv or see kid. I have started ask my DH questions about how he thinks we should raise our kids. Questions like... Are we going to give our kids an allowance? How is the best way to punish our kids effectively? How do we get our kids to understand how to be responsible about bills? What is our stance on alcohol and what will we allow our kids to do or not do. (Yeah, DH kinda told me to stop thinking that far ahead because we don't even have kids yet and when we get to this point, it will be at least 15 years from now)
Showing him that there are other ways to do things and his mom's way isn't always the best way. Being respectful of course.
Only been married a month, but we didn't live together before. He stayed over a lot though--but it is different!!
1)Sharing the TV. Nights I was home by myself I would watch all my shows. He loves to watch movies he's seen lots of times and I always like to empty the tivo... so compromise there! Having the Olympics on right now means thats all we watch though!
2) Laundry-- I do his too now, and the clothes multiply!
3)Cooking a lot more! i'd cook for him 1-2 times a week when he came over. Now it's almost every night! And I feel like I want to make him meals to be a good wife, so I'm trying to get into planning meals. He still does the dishes though.
4)Having weekends to ourselves. I used to go down to his parents house with him every weekend since we've been dating. Now we go visit them about once a week, but we get to have some time to ourselves on days we dont have to go to work. SO nice!
5)Living with a workout fanatic. My husband was a collegiate athlete, a personal trainer when we started dating and he's kept up the fitness regime. Working out, to me, was 1 hour a day a few times a week either doing cardio OR weights. Now, we're doing p90x every day AND cardio at the gym. This has been the biggest struggle--along with his super healthy eating habits. :-) I'm grateful though, even when I complain.
6) Seeing the future not as a countdown to the wedding with things that need to get done and money that needs to be spent, but as a lifetime of growing together, with TIME available to spend with each other. And funds to put toward mini trips.
7)waking up with him every day-- never having to say goodbye for a night. It's the BEST.
I could go on, but that's been the biggest changes!
at yrret, I undertsand wanting a chest freezer, before I thought lingerie and perfume were great gifts; now all I can think of are an electric mixer to make cakes and other baking items
Now that we're married the only thing that has changed is my last name. Other than that...it's ALL the same. I accidentally used my maiden name the other day. I felt so bad, it's been 7 months! LOL
not that much has changed. we lived together beforehand so maybe that's why. I guess we don't get so worried about having sex now. I used to always think I'd get pregnant. I don't really worry about that anymore since we are married now.
OMG everything! I had never lived with anyone before so marrying at 40 was a HUGE deal! We lived together for about 3 months before the wedding and he has two teenage daughters that we have full custody of, so my life has completely changed. Looking back, dating and being engaged is definitely funner! But marriage has its advantages, I love my husband...being a step mom on the other hand is so hard. No one warned me, they just told me I was crazy! Now I undertand what they meant, lol! And I do still catch myself calling him my fiance instead of husband and when i say husband I think to myself, OMG I have a husband!
what I love most is the companionship, I get to do things with my babe and I'm not alone anymore
What I love most that changed is feeling like he is my #1 and is really family now! It's weird to feel that change but it's nice, too. Also I too love never having to leave for a night- now it's a really big deal if I go away for a weekend, i'm sad! whereas we used to be apart most nights of the week!
I guess the hardest thing to get used to though is talking with him about all of my major purchases or trips that I want to take to visit friends or go home to see my family. I used to just say I was doing it, and now I feel like I have to make sure it's okay. Of course it always is but it would just be weird now to make a decision like that on my own. And that's a huge difference.
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I have never lived with my hubby or any man so it's a totally new experience, there are big things and little things:
1. Getting used to my married name, sometimes I sign my old name and catch myself on time....or not; then I get called for example in the doc's office I don't recognize me new name hahaha
2. Learning to think of we not me and our and not my; my hubby keeps correcting me, I still think as a single girl, he's still training me on that one
3. Doing groceries for two not one; the grocery bill has doubled, I have to double the portions when we go grocery shopping together; very strange
4. Sharing the covers; my hubby is 6 foot 3 and I'm 5 foot one we have a double right now and its cold in England where I moved after the wedding, so we find ourselves stealing the blankets in our sleep while the other one shivers
5. Thinking of cost-cutting habits; I was frugal before and more so now that OIleft my job and moved and there are two of us; I rediscovered the library, googling free stuff like free salsa lessons free swimming lessons and finding deals
6. Remembering I have in-laws now who are my family now not just his; that's a tough one because I love my family and had to leave them when I moved to Europe; takes getting used to visiting in-laws instead of my own family; I compromise by just visiting once a month; I dont think my hubby expects me to visit his grandpa every week like he does, I think that's wife overkill; once a month is a compromise
7. cooking for two of us not just me; I have to remember what he likes and doesnt like so we can both enjoy our meals
8. Going out as a couple instead of a single girl; we were long distance so it takes some getting used to double dating rather than me heading out with my single girlfirends for a girls night out
9. Remembering to get two hymn books at church not one--he looked at me funny, oh yeah there's two of us hahaha
10. Having a joint bank account, both our names on utility and the credit ccards wow, we are joined even in finances, we are truly a unit.
11. Learning to live with a man, I am tidy, he likes to leave stuff wherever; at first I used to pick after him, now I just leave it and give friendly reminders haha; I say I never picked up after anyone and dont plan to where you leave things thats where it will stay; so when he comes home I set the table around his stuff, haha
12. sharing household chores
13 Doing things together; really nice doing everything with my hubby--groceries, going to church, errands, quite nice, sharing meals at home
14. Seeing our rings on our hands, that always makes me feel good; my babe has a huge gold band maybe1/2 inch in width, very common in England, makes me feel loved and he is proud to be married to me
15. Saying my husband instead of fiance or boyfriends; really thrilling!
16. Running plans by each other because there is two not one now.
17. Baking more and cooking more elaborate dishes; I can now make a trifle, chocolate cake, apple tartlets, sponge cake, scones, seafood, lasagna, stuffed mushroom, stuffed bell pepper, poached pears, cookies, profiteroles, canelloni, stuffed chicken wrapped in ham and more; I never used to do so much cooking now I love it!!must be the nurturing instinct