(Closed) What’s different now that you are married?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We lived together four years before getting married, so nothing major has changed. But, I have noticed a few minor things since the wedding:

1. I traded in all my fashion magazine subscriptions for house magazines. I used to LOVE getting my Glamour in the mail every month. But shortly after the wedding, I wasn’t as into it. I don’t know why. But I’m definitely in love with my Martha Stewart and Better Homes mags now.

2. We both feel justified in staying in a lot more and entertaining at home, and we’re relieved that our single friends understand that now. Before the engagement/wedding, our single friends would always invite/pressure us to go out bar-hopping with them, and it’s just NOT our thing. Now that we’re married, we can just say, “Sorry, old married couple here, we’re staying in,” and the friends say, “Okay!”

3. We started doing laundry together. It’s weird thinking about it, but even when we lived together, we always did separate “his and hers” loads. Now we combine everything and share it.

Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

1) Getting used to the way HE wants the house cleaned. It’s not “my” domain any longer!

2) More towels in the bathroom. two toothbrushes, two toothpasts, two sets of razors, two sets of face soap, etc. Lots of crap in there.

3) He feeds the kitties now. sniff. They still know i’m their mommy though.

4) Buying all that food for 2. YIKES. Grocery bill UP.

5) Making sure it’s ok I go to the gym at 4:45 on a Friday afternoon. Ya know, in case he had a romantic dinner planned, lol

6) DVRing his shows, too. Deleting mine when I watch them. Heaven forbid I leave a watched episode of Bridezillas in the queque.

7) Having dinner with his friends (married) instead of my friends (single)

8) Shutting the bathroom door when I go poo. He doesn’t need to see/hear that.

9) No joint tofu dishes. I like, he doesn’t.

Post # 6
1104 posts
Bumble bee

We lived together for nearly 7 years before we got married, so nothing in day-to-day life has changed. When we got back from our honeymoon though we decided we needed more storage for wedding gifts (yay) so went and bought a whole bunch of new furniture and redecorated our living areas – it feels like a new house! I would definitely recommend this to anyone already living together wondering what will feel different. It’s been great. Good thing to spend wedding gift money on too!

Other than that, the differences have been emotional – I feel more connected to him, and him to me. We are truly a team, even more so than we were before, and it just *feels* different. I love it!

Post # 7
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is very interesting, good thread!  I keep wondering what will be different come May 23rd when the wedding is over, the guest are gone and it’s just us.  But we have lived together for 3 years now so the bills wont’ change much but I’m sure the “we” and not “me” language and the in-laws-as-family thing will be a big difference.

Post # 8
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

making decisions, especially about money, going out, and what to watch…TOGETHER.

We both still have a lot of selfishness…it takes a long time to get used to compromise and giving up your way all the time.  The first couple months of marriage there was still a lot to get used to, but 8 months later those are the things on my mind!

Post # 10
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 Note:  We moved in together about a year before we got married…


I’m starting to become more of a cook. Before getting married and moving in together, I used to be afraid of cooking because my cooking wasn’t that good.  Now that I have cooked a bunch of things, that Darling Husband actually likes, it has raised my view on what I think of my cooking.  It’s actually not that bad. I’m no where near a cook but I can definitely read a recipee and now and then actually improvise and it turn out pretty good.  I enjoy baking, even though my Darling Husband doesn’t like sweets.  I actually make stuff knowing that I can bring it into work for my coworkers. 


He really wanted Elton John and Billy Joel tickets.  I suprised him  and got them for him  but want to know what I asked for in return.  A chest freezer.  I’ve turned into a real wife alright.  May sound like a boring gift, but I’ve been wanting a chest freezer for about 6 months now.  He says we don’t have space for it but it annoys me because our freezer is too small and I need more room.  I’m actually excited about getting one. 

I no longer buy things for myself. (well little things, here and there, of course)  I started thinking what do WE need.  Or, do I really want that? Do I really need that?


Showing him things, his mom didn’t.  Why we load the dishwasher a certain way?  Not just yelling at him that he did it wrong but telling him that if you don’t load it a certain way it won’t get clean.  I’m doing this too for practice for when we have our own kids.  I know my parents would never explain anything to me. 

Almost everytime I see something on the tv or see kid. I have started ask my Darling Husband questions about how he thinks we should raise our kids.  Questions like…  Are we going to give our kids an allowance?  How is the best way to punish our kids effectively?  How do we get our kids to understand how to be responsible about bills?  What is our stance on alcohol and what will we allow our kids to do or not do.  (Yeah, Darling Husband kinda told me to stop thinking that far ahead because we don’t even have kids yet and when we get to this point, it will be at least 15 years from now)


Showing him that there are other ways to do things and his mom’s way isn’t always the best way. Being respectful of course.


Post # 11
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Only been married a month, but we didn’t live together before. He stayed over a lot though–but it is different!!

1)Sharing the TV. Nights I was home by myself I would watch all my shows. He loves to watch movies he’s seen lots of times and I always like to empty the tivo… so compromise there! Having the Olympics on right  now means thats all we watch though!

2) Laundry– I do his too now, and the clothes multiply!

3)Cooking a lot more! i’d cook for him 1-2 times a week when he came over. Now it’s almost every night! And I feel like I want to make him meals to be a good wife, so I’m trying to get into planning meals. He still does the dishes though.

4)Having weekends to ourselves. I used to go down to his parents house with him every weekend since we’ve been dating. Now we go visit them about once a week, but we get to have some time to ourselves on days we dont have to go to work. SO nice!

5)Living with a workout fanatic. My husband was a collegiate athlete, a personal trainer when we started dating and he’s kept up the fitness regime. Working out, to me, was 1 hour a day a few times a week either doing cardio OR weights. Now, we’re doing p90x every day AND cardio at the gym. This has been the biggest struggle–along with his super healthy eating habits. 🙂 I’m grateful though, even when I complain.

6) Seeing the future not as a countdown to the wedding with things that need to get done and money that needs to be spent, but as a lifetime of growing together, with TIME available to spend with each other. And funds to put toward mini trips.

7)waking up with him every day– never having to say goodbye for a night. It’s the BEST.

I could go on, but that’s been the biggest changes!

Post # 12
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@yrret, I feel you, I would kill for a big freezer right now!!! Hahahaha 🙂

Post # 14
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Now that we’re married the only thing that has changed is my last name.  Other than that…it’s ALL the same.  I accidentally used my maiden name the other day.  I felt so bad, it’s been 7 months!  LOL

Post # 15
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

not that much has changed.  we lived together beforehand so maybe that’s why.  I guess we don’t get so worried about having sex now.  I used to always think I’d get pregnant.  I don’t really worry about that anymore since we are married now.

Post # 16
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

OMG everything!  I had never lived with anyone before so marrying at 40 was a HUGE deal! We lived together for about 3 months before the wedding and he has two teenage daughters that we have full custody of, so my life has completely changed.  Looking back, dating and being engaged is definitely funner!  But marriage has its advantages, I love my husband…being a step mom on the other hand is so hard.  No one warned me, they just told me I was crazy!  Now I undertand what they meant, lol!  And I do still catch myself calling him my fiance instead of husband and when i say husband I think to myself, OMG I have a husband!

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