(Closed) whats happened …….. :(

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3472 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Are there other stressors that could be impacting this? 

All relationships go through cycles– but that doesn’t mean you have to stay there! 

I’d reccomend shaking things up, get a new toy, or plan a romantic weekend get-away.  Also, simpler things, like initiating it somewhere other than the bedroom, sending him texts/e-mails that are suggestive (don’t have to be “dirty” just implying it) or leaving “naughty” things for him to find (like a new piece of lingerie for you wrapped up like a gift on the front seat of his car, with a note saying it’s for “later”). 

Instead of trying to “put him on the spot” and risk getting turned down– focus on making it new and exciting again by building that anticipation.  Now that you live together, there’s not much question– he can have it if he wants it… You just have to remind him that he wants it. 

 

Post # 4
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sounds like your guy has found “The Rut”

Men love the rut, it’s predictable, it’s comfortable and boy is it easy to maintain!  You gotta shake that boy right outta that rut before he breaks an axel!  Bedroom is off limits for any nocturnal activity, jump him in the kitchen, right when he comes in the door, the laudry room, anywhere there aren’t pillows…add a little mystique to your presence and be just a little busy the next couple of weeks, he’ll miss you more than he’d like to admit and finally take a page from our French sisters and tell yourself it’s not you…it’s him.  Confidence is the ultimate attractant.

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