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The large letter in the middle is your married last name, the small letter to the left is the bride's first initial and the small letter on the right is the groom's first initial. Don't worry, I used to wonder that myself!
Yeah, it's kind of weird, but it is pretty much the only time that the bride's name gets to come first.
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There is no hard and fast rule about monograms - either the bride's or groom's name can come first. So if you'd end up with a rather unfortunate monogram, you do have options... :)
We actually used his name first, as our initials with mine first are abbreviations for things that we don't really want associated with us!
Hehe! We had the same problem. My name is Bonnie and his is Jeremy. You can easily see our delema (sp?). So whenever we used our initials such as the monogram I designed which only had our first names (and looked like j+b) I put his name first. Anytime I spelled them out I used my name first. I figured that was a pretty fair way to do it. :-) The awesome thing about monograms (and much of the wedding industry in general now a days) is that anything goes! It's totally an opportunity to be creative and let a little bit of your collective personality show through. Good luck!
Wow....good to know!! Hah B+J...hahahaha....mine is S H G if I put my initial first....G H S if his goes first...if I do it the way kourtann said....hmmmmm....interesting. THANKS!
haha, we would be LSD if we do it the traditional way... im still trying to figure out a nice combo of our initials.
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What about if you don't change you last name? I want to use the monogram idea too but I am not changing my name, so does that mean we have to have 2? thats so not fun!!!! maybe do we just use our first name intitials only? hmmm...
Why does the woman's name go first in a monogram? That seems so odd to me. I know there was that whole feminine movement and all, but it seems very nontraditional to list the woman before the man. Does anyone know the background on this? Is it a big deal to put him name first?
I'm not sure what the history of it is, but traditionally, the woman's name always goes first during the engagement. For our engagement party, my FI's nanny was getting personalized napkins, etc for the party, and the printer told us the girl's name always goes first.
One theory is that it's because the bride's family traditionally pays for the wedding. Or that at some point, the wedding was all about the bride and the groom just showed up to get married.
It definitely predates the feminine movement.
I read on the Crane's site
(http://www.crane.com/navcontentproduct.aspx?navname=etiquette_tips&deptname=styletrends&name=monograms) that the woman's initial goes on the left, which I suppose is as good a source as any. I suspect this is so (just guessing here) because the woman was considered the head of the family in social matters, and normally the woman's name went first when signing cards, etc. I also think that combined monograms are a relatively new thing and so there are probably no traditional rules to rely on!
It is also interesting to note that monograms on silver and linens were the bride's "maiden" initials only (no married initials in sight), so tradition isn't always so clearly male-dominated as might first appear!
Hopefully not too many people know about this tradition because I'd like to stick with having his initial first. Our monogram is bTr with his initial first and I think that it looks like the word "better".. like we're better together than apart.. cheesy... haha.
Just be glad you all can use a monogram...My name is Kristy, his name is Kyle, and his last name starts with a K.
yeah.
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I had to tell my FI about your unfortunate KKK monogram.. so not good. Thank goodness monograms have gotten really creative lately and people have started using just fist names or fist initials. I think a mirrored look would be so cool if I had the same first initial as FI... good luck :)
Lol thanks...yeahhh we figure we'll just put one big K on things if we do any kind of initial/monogram type thing...blah.
So cute when you say the names together...not so cute when you want a monogram haha
You could do a K&K type of monogram, that might be cute!
@CountryWedding
You mentioned something about the silver and linens only having the "maiden" initials ~ This dates back to the trousseau or dowry, in which items were handmade (or compiled) by the bride and her family before she was even of an age to marry.
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I dont know about the monogram, but the womans name goes first if you are not saying "Mr & Mrs. First & Last Name" So on any stationary or printed items for the wedding the womans name comes first. This is because the man is not supposed to be separated from his last name. If you say "Mr & Mrs John Smith", his last name is still next to his first name. If you say "Jane & John Smith" his name is still next to his last name but if you put "John & Jane Smith" his first name would be separated from his last name.
Miss Ballroom: As far as I know, this also applies to items post-wedding - but you are probably right re. how the tradition started!
Our monogram would be vDm...anybody out there thinking it should be mDv (with his initial before mine (Vanessa). Just wondering because I don't want anyone thinking of venereal disease when they see our monogram. The monogram will be incorporated with a cartouche (Besty White Love Logo #16 invite on bestywhite.com if anyone is interested). Which would you suggest?
Mmost everything I have read says the woman's initial goes first. And everything also says that the man first name should not be separated from his last name.
Just when you are reading one person's monogram you read first initial, last initial, and then middle initial, if you put the man's first initial last then when you read it, it's actually before his name.
For instance if a girl's name is Anna Beth Smith. Her monogram would be ASB (with the S slightly bigger). If they are the same size, then it would be ABS.
The way monograms are set up is to read the first initial, the last one and then the middle one.
So if Anna Smith who marries Chuck Bass, their monogram becomes ABC, and would be read Anna and Chuck Bass. Thus his first name is no separated from his last name. And the woman's initial goes first.
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I know this may sound like a dumb question, but oh well, I need to know so who better than to ask than the lovely bees? I have seen many monogrammed initials sewn into a bride's gown/garter or used as cake toppers, or on towels....that's all fine and dandy, but whose initials are they...and why are there only 3 letters? Is it just the bride's? It's not the groom's....so can someone kindly tell me whose 3 initials? I don't have a middle name perhaps that's what's throwing me off...leave it to my immigrant parents to not give me a middle name like every other American kid....wth...
I haven't been to a wedding in a long time...ok that's not true, but I never started paying attention to any details until I got engaged...so...yup...I wanna know whose initials....to use...thanks~
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