Post # 1
Seriously, what’s so hard about doing a reading at a wedding? Of the four people we’ve asked to do readings/petitions, only one has actually wanted to do it and agreed to do it. Granted, we gave one person the option of either doing a reading or bringing up the gifts (Catholic wedding mass), but she chose the gifts. I did a reading at my Grandma’s funeral Mass when I was in 1st grade. Why is it so hard for adults to do one at our wedding? These are important people in our lives that we wanted involved in our wedding (including godparents), but no. Oh well. My brother said he’d read, although he feels kind of like he shouldn’t because he doesn’t go to Mass (which is a legitimate reason to me) so I feel bad making him do it. Guess we’ll find someone willing to do it… the one person who agreed to read without any coercion offered to do them all if we can’t find anyone else.
Anyone else have this problem?
Post # 3
Maybe they are just shy people. I did a reading at my brother’s wedding, but I know a lot of people are uncomfortable in that role. Or it’s possible they don’t like the reading. I found out at the rehearsal the reason my brother asked me to do the one I did (“Love is patient, love is kind…”) is because they figured I would hate to do the one my SIL’s brother read (which I think was “woman leaves family, cleaves to man, woman subservient to man” – it was a *very* old fashioned interpretation/translation). I would have done it had they asked, but I would have hated it, because it’s not something I believe in (woman being subservient).
Post # 4
stage fright. i remember having to go up to do readings before i dropped catholocism and decided to go to an evangelical church. i was always so terrified of going up for the readings and would always trip over my words.
Post # 5
I think a lot of people feel the pressure of being perfect on your wedding day. If they mess up, they’re afraid you’d be upset or they’d be teased. I wouldn’t want to read at a wedding.
Post # 6
I hear you completely!
We had a teeny tiny wedding – as in 7 guests, all immediate family, and I thought with so few people, it would be cool for everyone to do a reading. His parents + brother didn’t want to participate. I was so perplexed and kind of hurt, actually. But they are definitely on the quiet, shy side, so I can see why they didn’t.
But they were the only ones, and I kind of hoped they felt dumb.
In all seriousness, though, I feel like unless you have completely overestimated the friendship / closeness, it’s the kind of thing you really shouldn’t say no to without a great reason. ETA: I agree stage fright is a pretty good reason.
Post # 7
People should be honored!
Post # 8
They’re definitely not shy people that we asked… they’re all very outgoing. And we haven’t even gotten to the point of telling them the reading… it ends at “will you read?” So disliking the reading definitely isn’t the issue. Oh well.
Post # 9
Post # 10
Like the Seinfeld quote, “People’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Meaning, at a funeral, they’d rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy!”
Post # 11
Yes! We can barley get anyone to say any type of speech at the reception. These are people that are social and not shy whatsoever. It makes me mad because when it comes to actually getting up and making a speech for our wedding they all claim to be shy. We finally talked my fiances brother into mc’ing the wedding. Basically he is going to do a 2 minute welcome speech and the dj is going to announce everything else. It just makes me so mad.
Post # 12
Yea, I kinda left this one till the last minute and am regretting it a little, having a couple of people backing out too. Although I see the side of not wanting to read–I read at my friend’s wedding and felt way nervous before it, I almost felt like I didn’t get to enjoy the first part of the ceremony! And I sing in a band, so it’s not like I never get up on a stage.
Post # 13
I think I heard that public speaking is the #1 fear of adults in the USA…
Post # 14
As someone used to speaking to large groups (I’m a high school teacher) I’d be honoured, but know to many people it’d be the end of the world! However, if a friend or relative wanted me to read, even if I was really nervous about doing so, I’d bite the bullet to make that person happy- lay some guilt trips on I say! haha good luck!