(Closed) what’s so hard…

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Maybe they are just shy people.  I did a reading at my brother’s wedding, but I know  a lot of people are uncomfortable in that role.  Or it’s possible they don’t like the reading.  I found out at the rehearsal the reason my brother asked me to do the one I did (“Love is patient, love is kind…”) is because they figured I would hate to do the one my SIL’s brother read (which I think was “woman leaves family, cleaves to man, woman subservient to man” – it was a *very* old fashioned interpretation/translation).  I would have done it had they asked, but I would have hated it, because it’s not something I believe in (woman being subservient).

Post # 4
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

stage fright. i remember having to go up to do readings before i dropped catholocism and decided to go to an evangelical church. i was always so terrified of going up for the readings and would always trip over my words.

Post # 5
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think a lot of people feel the pressure of being perfect on your wedding day. If they mess up, they’re afraid you’d be upset or they’d be teased. I wouldn’t want to read at a wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

I hear you completely!

We had a teeny tiny wedding – as in 7 guests, all immediate family, and I thought with so few people, it would be cool for everyone to do a reading.  His parents + brother didn’t want to participate.  I was so perplexed and kind of hurt, actually.  But they are definitely on the quiet, shy side, so I can see why they didn’t.

But they were the only ones, and I kind of hoped they felt dumb.

What?

🙂

In all seriousness, though, I feel like unless you have completely overestimated the friendship / closeness, it’s the kind of thing you really shouldn’t say no to without a great reason.  ETA: I agree stage fright is a pretty good reason.

So whatever.

GOOD LUCK!

Post # 7
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

People should be honored! 

Post # 9
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just remember though that someone can be outgoing and still have stage fright!  I personally have no problem with public speaking but I think I remember reading somewhere it was the #1 fear of people.  Google search of “number one fear” bears me out: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS359US359&q=%231+fear#sclient=psy&hl=en&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS359US359&source=hp&q=number+one++fear&aq=f&aqi=g5&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=40d12f84dda1c17c&biw=1109&bih=510

Post # 10
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Like the Seinfeld quote, “People’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Meaning, at a funeral, they’d rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy!”

Post # 11
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes! We can barley get anyone to say any type of speech at the reception. These are people that are social and not shy whatsoever. It makes me mad because when it comes to actually getting up and making a speech for our wedding they all claim to be shy. We finally talked my fiances brother into mc’ing the wedding. Basically he is going to do a 2 minute welcome speech and the dj is going to announce everything else. It just makes me so mad.

Post # 12
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yea, I kinda left this one till the last minute and am regretting it a little, having a couple of people backing out too. Although I see the side of not wanting to read–I read at my friend’s wedding and felt way nervous before it, I almost felt like I didn’t get to enjoy the first part of the ceremony! And I sing in a band, so it’s not like I never get up on a stage.

Post # 13
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think I heard that public speaking is the #1 fear of adults in the USA…

Post # 14
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

As someone used to speaking to large groups (I’m a high school teacher) I’d be honoured, but know to many people it’d be the end of the world! However, if a friend or relative wanted me to read, even if I was really nervous about doing so, I’d bite the bullet to make that person happy- lay some guilt trips on I say! haha good luck!

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