What's the best way to ask friends to be bridesmaids?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What's the best way to "propose" to your bridesmaids?
    A cute card, gift box, or surprise : (20 votes)
    43 %
    A conversation about what you're asking : (26 votes)
    55 %
    Other? : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @PromiseRooster:  I voted for talking, though I definitely think you could also “propose” with a gift, just in person. That could lead to a conversation where you say something like I wanted to ask you to be my BM, there’s no pressure and please take your time in answering, or something like that. 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1582 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @PromiseRooster: That’s definitely not a bad idea! I didn’t do it personally, but one of my BMs is acting as MOH in her cousin’s wedding, and what her cousin did was show up at her place with a bottle of wine that said “I got my guy… now I need my girls! Will you be my MOH?” and then they sat around having a drink while they talked about it. It sounded wonderful to me!

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m making bridesmaid boxes, I’m still waiting for the rest of the stuff to come in. I got eat of them a studded rhinestone shirt [not wedding related], eye makeup, lip gloss, a coin purse, mini photo frame & nail polish.

    I’m also going to include their wedding wristlet, earrings & bracelet, along with a note about the wedding information, general timeline for dress shopping and expectations.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @PromiseRooster:  I know 100% both will say yes, as they’ve already expressed interest in it.

    But, if for some reason they said no, they could keep the box. It’s just a cute gift, there isn’t any obligation with it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I was super nervous to ask my bridesmaids (honestly, for no good reason). I didn’t know for sure they’d say yes, but I also had no reason to think they’d say no. My one friend has been a bridesmaid tons and I felt kind of bad about asking her.

    But then I thought of it the other way around–would she not want to do it? Would she be relieved to not be asked? Or would she feel a little left out that she wasn’t?

    I gave her the same thing I gave the other two girls, and she opened it, and I asked her and she was excited.

    I think I totally overthought it because (even though I would be pleased and flattered) I was worried she wouldn’t want to and would rather not be bothered.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I sent my girls flowers with an “ask” attached. They loved it! I may have done it differently if I lived near them though. I live abroad so I don’t get to see my best girls as often as I would like. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I took each of my ladies out to dinner (only two of them) and asked them separately and then we celebrated.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I just asked mine – I was super nervous that they would have other committments that day!  once I get my color scheme figured out, I’m sending them care boxes with color swatches (they are getting their own dresses), cookies, wine bottle stopper (our wedding is at a winery), and more details about the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I just asked them, over Skype because I don’t live near them anymore.  Not everything needs to be worthy of a Pinterest post.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If someone made a big production out of asking me and spent money and time “proposing” to me in that way, I would feel a lot of pressure to accept, even if that really wasn’t the best decision.  I would rather have a private, frank, straightforward, practical conversation about expectations, costs, time, etc. (I think that doing this via conversation is much nicer than being presented with a list of potential demands) and then if I agreed to accept, perhaps a lovely box along the lines that many Bees have generously described might be in order.

    Post # 16
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I just called each of mine and asked. I was so nervous but they were each supportive and excited to be a part of the wedding

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