Whats the big Deal about MOG and MOB dresses!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We had a situation about the MOG dress.  His mother is very out of date when it comes to style.  We had a late summer wedding and she wanted to wear a pea green, long, long sleeve, Morticia from the Adams family type dress excpet it was loose and had a super high neck and was in stores in the early 90’s.  So out of date and not appropriate it was unbelieveable.  We had to physically take her shopping to get another dress for the wedding.  Our wedding was rather formal and if she had worn that dress she would have felt very out of place.  The dress she did get, from Macy’s and she can wear to work as well, was beyond better.  We did not want her to stand out but we did not want her to look like a frump from the 1990’s either.

Post # 4
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Alot of times it’s so the moms feel special.. children are sacred to most mothers.. it’s almost just as big as a day for the bride & groom.

I know personally, my mother is SUPER excited to have something special to wear to my wedding. She even tried on some dresses when I went dress shopping. FMIL loves dressing up in fancy dresses and is also very excited.

The mothers normally pay for their own attire.

Post # 5
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@otto2008 I think it is important that the parents look their best because as much as it is about the bride and groom it is also about the families.  In my case, my parents are giving me away to my FI and they are also the hosts of the recepetion.  So, naturally I think they want to look their best.  Bride and groom don’t pay for their dresses and I am sure it’s ok for them to wear something they already own that looks nice.  

Post # 6
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant

I think the mother’s just know that some attention will be on them (they DO get special treatment during the ceremony, and if they are paying for the wedding, technically they are the hosts of the whole deal) and they like getting a special dress for the occassion.  They want to look and feel great on this special day which isnt THEIR day, but still important for them none the less.  Usually they try to match the wedding party so that the pictures look nice and coordinated, so yes, they stand out from the rest of the guests.   

Post # 7
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@otto2008:  It wasn’t a big deal for us at all.  I told our moms they could wear anything at all as long as their dresses were any shade of blue or neutrals (black, beige, etc).  I just wanted everyone to be comfortable.  It also helped we didn’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen.

Both opted for dresses they already owned, and I didn’t see them until the wedding day.  They looked fine; the ceremony and resulting photos were still amazing and gorgeous.

 

Post # 8
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@otto2008:  a lot of women want to buy a nice dress for any special occasion and will make a big deal of it. Since the moms will be in lots of pictures that day and see just about everyone they know, they want to look their best.

I don’t believe there is any tradition of the bride and groom buying the dresses. If anything, tradition leans toward the patents paying for the wedding to begin with, so no. If they have something they are happy to wear, it’s perfectly fine for the moms not to buy new dresses.  

Post # 9
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Typically the mothers are part of the procession in a way (are seated specially by an usher or groomsman) as well as being included in multiple photos. Most times they would wear something a little nicer than the average guest (maybe full length at a coctail party or a little extra sparkle). If you don’t intend to have your mothers in your photos at all or honor them during the ceremony/dances then it may not be important to you that they wear something special, but you may want to check with them first.

Post # 10
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s traditional for the MOB and MOG to be dressed up at a wedding if the dress code is formal.  In addition to pictures, how many times to you get to wear a really nice/fancy dress?  For most people, it’s not very often.  I think my mom was/is excited to have an excuse to treat herself to something nicer than she would normally wear. 

Post # 11
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@otto2008:  My mother is deceased, but if she were around, I know she would have searched high and low for the most perfect, most beautiful MOB dress…in a color that made her radiant, and was ‘appropriate’ to our overall scheme of the day!!

Since that is not an option, I was happy to step up and help his mother shop, because she asked me too (and she had ALL the choices in the world…bc she did not have to follow my mother’s look).  Our first few trips were lovely.  She is a beauiful woman, and I thought what she was trying on was flattering/fun/flirty, etc.  She had asked me what color I had envisioned her in, and I was honest when I told her a silver/silvery-light purple gown.

Then she called me, and said she found the dress and could not wait for me to see it!!  The gown she chose is…well, in my opinion, heinous.  Now, I did not tell her that, nor would I ever tell her that.  If she likes it, and wants to wear it, then that is all the matters – thus, not making it a big deal.  However, I wanted to make it a BIGGER deal, because I think she is entitled to ‘shine’!!  She could wear pretty much ANY dress she desired, not a mom-ish dress.  Meaning, the ones we were trying on were BM dresses.  

Anyways, she ended up buying a long sleeve, black glittery dress, that I feel screams a tad on the ‘older’ side of things.  The dress hits at her shines, not floor length or knee length and is slip-on dress (no zipper).  Not to mention, my girls are in black, so she does not even stand out (really) from them, which again – I think she should!!  It is atypical for a mother’s dress to match the BM’s, but since I chose black I know that many, many guests will also wear black by default.  Their dresses – my girls – are just long.

So, where I am biting my tongue on my overall opinion, because she is happy with her choice, I thought it could have been a ‘bigger’ deal/more fun and a better pick for her to stand out on this day, and not because I am a bridezilla or whatever.

Post # 12
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@otto2008:  Women on here seem to make a big deal out of it beacuse they think their bridal party members are photo props and they don’t wnat anyone to wear/do anything that would tarnish their photos.

In reality, I think most moms want to wear something special on such a big day.

Post # 13
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wanted our mothers to match the color scheme that we had (Champagne and Plum.) I knew that we paid a decent bit for pictures and would be kind of upset if they didn’t blend the way I had envisioned it. Once I told them the colors they were on their own. MIL already had a suitable outfilt choice so she did not need to by anything. My mother on the other hand took it upon herself to purchase a new dress (in a RANDOM) color that totally made her the center of attention. Not surprised, but it’s best if you know what you are getting yourself in before hand.

Post # 14
Member
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I had MOG problems. She was sending me elaborate wedding gowns that she wanted to wear, amnog other things.  Sometimes the issue stems from the individual and not the actual idea of a dress. 

Post # 15
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think in real life most sane people don’t care much. Obviously the mothers should look nice. I think it would be off if they matched the bridesmaids exactly, and of course if they wore white. Most mothers are perfectly capable of finding or rewearing a dress though.

It’s not something you should worry about, especially as you’re not even engaged yet. Well, that is, unless your mother is already picking out a long white dress to wear.

Post # 16
mswallabyBee
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@otto2008:  No idea why they’re such a big deal. But then again, I don’t *really* see the big deal with BM dresses, either, so don’t ask me haha.

My mom and my MIL picked out their own dresses, and they looked stunning. They both spent awhile shopping around before they picked their dresses. (Neither of them get dressed up in dressy dresses that often, so I don’t think they had anything in their wardrobes they wanted to wear. I don’t think it’s a big deal if they had worn dresses they already had, though! I re-wear dresses allll the time!) We didn’t pay for their dresses – I don’t think that’s necessary. 

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