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What's the biggest stress in planning a wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
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    41.
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    Helper bee
    AliOopsieDaisy    July 2010  

    As of right now, I am going to say the guest list.

    We have a semi-destination wedding and I'm nervous about sending out too many/too few invites.

     
    42.
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    Bumble bee
    stlginkgo    3/20/10  

    Parents opinions (esp MIL!) and budget

     
    43.
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    Blushing bee
    ashlle    9/4/2010   Madison, WI

    The tie for biggest stress is between guest list (politics) and budget (why do things cost money?!)

     
    44.
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    Helper bee
    leenmachine    October 3, 2009  

    The church/reception venue was the easiest for us. The stres for me is mostly coming from logistics and those darned guest seating! Oh, and now that we're getting close to the wedding, I'm getting fed up with unsolicited advice. Sigh.

     
    45.
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    Busy bee
    cherryblossom    05/03/08   San Francisco, CA

    i think the biggest stress was not only making sure we were both happy with our decisions, but that our families were happy and comfortable with our choices as well. as much as it was our wedding, we really valued and took in mind our families' opinions.

    other than that, no matter what goes haywire with vendors and such, there's always back up plan. you only have one family and we wanted everyone to be just as happy as us.

     
    46.
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    Bumble bee
    realeastcoaster    July 11, 2009   Canada

    Guest list. Definitely the guest list.

     
    47.
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    Buzzing bee
    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    I would say that family was the biggest stress factor for us, which we totally didn't expect. Everyone has opinions and no one is afraid to say 'em. After a while, it gets to you. We both have very loving and supportive families, but weddings bring out a lot of emotions in people, so prepare for it and realize that once it's over, things will go back to normal. Also, make exceptions if you can. Sometimes it's better to let mom have her way than to argue about it with her.

    Second: budget, for sure. Everyone's on one, be it $5K or $50K. Every bride wants everything on her wedding day, and figuring out how to do that with your budget is always stressful.

     

     
    48.
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    Helper bee
    ashleyjane    1/16/2010   Tampa, FL

    This is lame, but I'm so stressed that people aren't going to dance at the reception. Thats all I want!

     
    49.
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    i want to change my answer. it's family! my uncle, who never returns my dad's calls, wont call anyone back to give us his address, which i think is just horrible. my aunt is jerk, in general. my grandma calls crying every other day because she doesn't feel that she'll be up to coming to the wedding. half my family is upset because they aren't invited to the ceremony because it's a small wedding. the list goes on.

     
    50.
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    Honey bee
    krissybee    October 15, 2011   :: chicago IL ::

    budget & talking about money... also trying to please both our parents!!!! ( who are not the best of friends lets say )

     
    51.
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    Bumble bee
    bvig    September 2009   wedding in NJ

    Everyone's feelings.  People get emotional and attatched to their ideas or somehow feel like your decision is disrespectful to them or ......... it's trying to make your guest list happy and balancing everyone's input without the possibility of everyone getting what they want.

     
    52.
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    Busy bee
    MissACS    March!  

    It's mostly guest list related so far. People think they are entitled to bring as many people as they want and at the same time, don't feel any urgency to RSVP.

    FI and I were very specific on addressing Save the Dates and the internal envelopes to exactly who was invited. Can't wait to see if I have any crashers at the wedding.

    Honest to blog, they make me feel like I am the first person ever to get married sometimes.

     
    53.
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    Bumble bee
    Dancy905    February 5, 2010  

    I've gotta say budget and contracts. I'm paranoid about vendors screwing up so I meticulously go through every aspect of a contract - I read those little suckers so close I've found a couple spelling mistakes. haha

     
    54.
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    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    I think the biggest stressors I've noticed are guest list and too many opinionson everything. 

     
    55.
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    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    So far, it's been finding a photographer. Photography was the one area that my fiance *really* cared about, so I HAD to have his input. And after telling him "give me a list of options" and waiting a month, then providing him with a list and waiting another month, then forcing him to sit down with me and narrow down the list based on online albums, then telling him to contact the short list and waiting several weeks, then contacting them myself, then finding out that all of them were charging beyond what my fiance thought they were worth, then starting all over again, I was ready to scream. But, we finally found people we adore and put down a deposit. And now, I've moved on to attempting to get my venue's exclusive vendors to actually call me back, which is also quite obnoxious.

     
    56.
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    Helper bee
    phatkat811    June 17, 2010   live: Cincinnati, OH; wedding: CT

    MONEY!!! We're both pretty frugal people and spending as much money as we are (even though we're not spending near what other people are) makes us both a bit twitchy.

    That and having so many little details to plan. I'm not a detail person. I feel like every time I cross something off my "to-do" list, I find something else I need to put on there.

    And the fact that everyone can't work on my schedule, lol. So much stuff needs to be done but I have to wait for this or that person to do their part of things. I want to be done NOW! :)

    Luckily, my parents and FI's parents have been awesome. My stepmom-in-law-to-be is keeping a notebook and taking care of so many details for us, since she lives in the state where we're getting married and we're 800 miles away. This past weekend she booked my and my mom's hair appointments and she's been making all the contacts for the flowers and cake, and scoping out venues. She's also a project manager for a living so she thrives on this stuff. God love that woman!!

     
    57.
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    Busy bee
    marlew    October 23, 2010   Ajax, Ontario

    my biggest stress so far has been my sister.  she is trying to dictate how my wedding should be.  funny that I never told her how to have hers.  She told me that if I had chosen red dresses, which I wanted originally, that she wouldn't be in the wedding.  And keeps making snarky comments about me wanting the girls to wear black patent shoes with the dresses THEY picked (I'm not saying WHAT shoe, just what colour).  I don't mind advice...when I ask for it.  I am this || close to asking to to leave the wedding.  Plus, my FI gently pointed out that I need to prepare myself emotionally (I'm a huge crier) that on my wedding day more people are going to be paying more attention to her new baby (she planned her pregnancy to be due 3 weeks before I get married) and not to me/us on the biggest day of our lives. (*end vent*)

     
    58.
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    Helper bee
    Medina1111    November 11, 2011   Houston

    THE GUEST LIST! how does it keep growing???

     
    59.
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    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    My reception has been my BIGGEST headach by far! We put a deposit down on our date and then my consultant got fired! And we found out we were VERY miss informed and we couldnt have the room for how much we were spending. then a week later they told us if we change the date ( after i got STD's) we can have the room with the original minimum.

    Ceremoy has been very easy- were getting married in the Bahamas and they take care of EVERYTHING!

     
    60.
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    Honey bee
    Treasure43    September 18, 2010  

    The budget...we're constantly going over :(

    Also how everyone says "it's your day" and then proceeds to get upset when you make a decision they wouldn't have made.

    However, it can be a lot of fun, it's just a lot of money and stress at times.

     
    61.
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    Busy bee
    thimble    October 2010   NYC/ Philly

    My biggest stress is planning the ceremony. We're having an interfaith Jewish/Catholic ceremony, and I've shed many tears in the process of finding a willing priest. And making my mother happy trying to balance the ceremony is going to make me crazy. 

     
    62.
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    Blushing bee
    bruintx    September 12, 2010   Orange County

    Budget. Money affects pretty much all of your decisions: venue(s), vendors, number of guests, etc. FI and I are fortunately not on a strict budget, but we have a ballpark figure that we want to stay around. I find searching for vendors stressful, so I'm very grateful to have many already-married friends who have done the legwork for their weddings and a somewhat flexible budget. I remember someone saying on Wedding Bee or somewhere else that you can have anything you want, but not everything you want. And the key to not stressing out so much on the budget is setting your priorities.

    Congrats on the engagement and happy wedding planning!

     
    63.
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    Helper bee
    greenek2    October 22, 2010   Atlanta, GA

    It varies..right now it is deciding my dress. I had some stress with picking a caterer, I will probably have stress with stationary. However, dealing with the FIL (actually reminding my fiance that money is needed soon) is the most stressful. They said they would pay for part of the wedding, so now actually seeing that happen is stressful.

     
    64.
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    Bee Keeper
    cbee    July 26, 2010  

    DEALING WITH FAMILY!

    If you don't have this problem, LUCKY YOU!

    Divorce, people with personal problems that seem to heighten, broken families, people that are difficult....  YIKES!

     
    65.
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    Busy bee
    Vonnegurl    June 12, 2010  

    I think the guest list and budget.

     
    66.
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    Buzzing bee
    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    the etiquette and dealing with my mom. she dont want to help with the planning but still say a lot of awful stuff about my choices

     

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