Oh Gawd Yes…
It took me over 40 years to grow a set of balls !!
I was very pathetic about men… I had horrible low self esteem… and was used to being a doormat.
I did some incredibly stupid stuff… be it staying in an abusive marriage for 20+ years with an alcoholic husband
Or dating men in my teens, or after my Divorce who treated me badly / were dirty dogs.
I was tooo clueless to understand I was “fishing in the wrong pond”
So I often would spend my time mad at “the sharks” I kept getting involved with … somehow thinking that if I was nice enough to them they’d treat me better / change
So ya I have college & later stories about taking out my frustrations, personal pain by Dumping Beer on a guy’s head, Throwing Cream Pies on someone ele’s windshield, and following an Ex to his house and sitting outside on his doorstep crying and dialing & redialing his phone number (and him inside) over and over.
(Cringe… that last one happening in my 40s)
(No wonder with such horrid self-esteem, I ended up in an abusive relationship as a young adult … I was such as desperate person… this rooted in my being no doubt a neglected child)
Thank Godness, I STOPPED DATING is all I can say
In my mid 40s, I decided that I was tired of bad relationshiops, and what I needed to do was spend some serious time ON ME
So I started reading self-help books (especially relationship ones, and ones that focussed on HOW MEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN WOMEN), went and got some serious counselling, etc.
Made a world of difference. I now don’t approach the world as “just a woman”. I’ve given up some of the more emotional baggage, and think more like a individual.
After 3 years to rediscovery (and a lot of hard work) I had my sh!t together, and a new perspective on life… and that is when I “ran into” Mr TTR thru mutual friends
Lol, I wasn’t looking to date (too burned). But he was very drawn to my confidence … and quickly smitten. So he pursued me (lol incredible difference in life when “the fish” are leaping into your boat !!)
I certainly have had a revelation. Now I don’t take no crap from anyone. Certainly not a man / intimate relationship (including family member). NO MORE DRAMA… you either like me for whom I am… as I am… or you don’t. If you don’t well then, that is your choice… as it is waaaay more about you than me.
My life isn’t perfect… but it is a zillion times better. And confidence portrays a message to others… one of requiring respect. No one walks on me anymore… I am NO ONE’s DOORMAT !!
I sooo wish that more women would find this “personal power” at a younger age than I did. It can make your life soooo much better.
(That is part of my motivation for posting on WBee, I’m hoping that my life experience can help others spare some / many years of pain & sorrow)