What's the cut-off age for an "adults only" wedding??

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What age group should be considered a "kid"?
    12 and under : (26 votes)
    24 %
    Under 16 : (34 votes)
    31 %
    Under 18 : (36 votes)
    33 %
    Under 21 : (12 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We are doing either 18 or 21. We might fib and say it’s 21 even if we slip in a 19 year old who doesn’t know the other side.

    Post # 4
    1472 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think 21 is totally inappropriate. 18- and 19-year olds are adults, and they should not be not invited because they are “kids.”

    18 is fair, 16 is fair, 12 is fair. Decide based on numbers and then stick to it. Think about splitting families (if you’ve got a family with an 8, 10, and 12 year-old, you may not want to use 12, because then one sibling is invited and two aren’t).

    Post # 5
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I say under 16. By 16 you’re working and looking at colleges–plenty old enough to attend a wedding and act like the young adult you’re becoming!

    Post # 6
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Our rule was if they needed a babysitter, they weren’t coming. I think the youngest person at our reception was 14 or 15.

    Post # 7
    2454 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Ours was less about age and more about relationship.

    I have a HUGE family, so I have one cousin that’s 12 and another that just turned 18. Both are invited without guests. My nieces (11 and 3 months) and nephew (3 years) are also invited. 

    We just made it clear that no one’s offsprings can come unless they were first cousins or nieces and nephews.

    So, no cut off age. But limiting the “no offspring” chopped off around 30 kids of all different ages.  

    Post # 8
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Since we are paying alcohol per person regardless if they are 21 or 8 I would say it would make sense for an adults only to be over 21, but being 20 I would be very offended that I would be considered a kid even though I have a degree, house, fiance’ etc. So it’s really hard to say. But for our wedding we decided no kids under 16 that were not relatives, even distantly.

    Post # 11
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would say 18 or 21 (I assume you’re in the US where you used 21 in your poll).  18 is technically an adult but if you’re having open bar I would cut it off at whatever legal age is where you are.

    Post # 12
    1116 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Legal drinking age. So for us it’s anyone under 18 is not invited.

    Post # 13
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We’re doing adult only just so we can say no kids – we don’t have a problem with teens but our family is a little older so the youngest person there will be 19 years old.

    So when my aunt and his cousin start bitching a fit about their kids not being invited we can say “sorry – nobody under 18 is coming.”  It sounds a lot better than nobody under “12” is coming.

    Post # 14
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It depends on the general make-up, I think. I like the rule about the “babysitters” but again so much of it depends on the actual kid.

    Our youngest guest is 16 (not counting the two breast-feeding newborns). After her, the next-youngest kids are 9, 8, 3, and 2. It was easy for us to say “no kids,” with the 16-year-old being the youngest. I guess we lucked out!

    Post # 15
    2173 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    If I was 20 and wasn’t invited to a wedding simply because I didn’t make the legal drinking age, I would be so incredibly insulted.  Especially considering there are plenty of people above that age who don’t drink.

    18 is the legal adult age here and would create a very nice solid boundary, in my opinion.

    Post # 16
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I believe that children are important to have at weddings. However, if you have to make a cut off then I second @Westwood:  if they need a babysitter, then no. Otherwise, yes.

    12 YOs don’t need a babysitter. I’m also not a priss about alcohol and about kids being around it. But then… I am European. We tend not to think that alcohol and family life are separate spheres of existence to the same extent.

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