Weddingbee boards

I've seen on WB a bunch of posters saying that people should at least bring a card if they don't bring a gift. 

I completely don't identify with this.  Why would I want a card?  I'm fine with nothing but what I really don't want is a card that I have to just recycle and feel guilty that someone wasted their money and trees on something that was meaningless to me.

I had a few close friends who couldn't attend the wedding and if all they did was send a card I would have been offended, like why waste the piece of paper.

A card isn't interactive.  I find it much more appealing if someone calls, facebooks, emails, or does something to start a conversation with me to express congrats or regrets on not being able to attend.

I don't even buy a card for the gift but just add a tag with a quick note. 

Am I alone in just not understanding why cards are necessary?

@Future Mrs. Martin - That's really sweet.  I do love hand written notes that share sentiment.  I just don't like the store bought card part.  So I guess that's another thing, I really like the sentiment I guess I just feel like most people just give a card with little sentiment attached.

For our wedding I cut out the notes people wrote on their cards/guest book/other random pieces of paper to put in our wedding album but didn't keep any of the card part.

We made it clear to people that since a lot of them had to travel we much prefered presence over presents.  So probably a third of the people there didn't give gifts.  We received ZERO cards without presents.  So I guess I just feel like there's some bridal world and other people world because I would have thought one of those thirty or so giftless people would have given a card if cards were that widespread meaningful. 

@Vagabond - I'm 28, so not really younger.  I'd used the internet like twice before I went to college.  But I just feel like an expression of sentiment in whatever form I like.  And other forms of communication don't have the guilt of throwing away something. 

I guess I just was confused about why people said 'well, at least bring a card' but I guess it's more like 'express some sentiment'  or does it have to be a card?

@thebriz - but what if they expressed to you at your wedding how happy they were for you in person?  Would you still need a card, what would a card add?

@Ember - There were a lot of people on the Bee who said if someone doesn't bring a gift they should at least bring a card.  But if it's just the sentiment that's important can a meaningful conversation replace that.  For me, yes.  

A lot of people came who didn't bring gifts but everyone came up and told us what a wonderful time they were having and congrats.  We also got a lot of calls and emails afterwards and we both felt really loved and satisfied that everyone had a great time and were happy for us.  To me that's even better then them having given a card.  I guess a lot of people say they write many good wishes in their cards, but I find that rare that people write more than a line or two or anything less generic than 'we're so happy for you!'

@troubled - I think the card can be helpful because it's something concrete that the couple can keep afterward and look back on.  That's a matter of personal taste, though!

It can be difficult to remember each and every interaction you have with your guests on the day of.  We had a wee wedding (30 ppl.), and I have no earthly idea what most of them said to me while we were making the rounds.  The cards and guest book notes, though, will be there for me to read years down the line.

Sometimes I give cards because I want to express something that I'd feel uncomfortable saying in front of a whole bunch of people.  "You're the sister I never had and I can't imagine where I'd be without you," is a bit, um, heavy for an in-person declaration.

WRT whether or not you ought to bring one, I think the best metric is the couple's feelings.  Is the bride someone who scrapbooks and has a fridge covered in save-the-date magnets and Christmas cards from last year?  Then it's probably a nice gesture and won't involve waste since she's not going to throw it out.  If you aren't sure, erring on the side of caution and opting for a card printed on recycled paper might be a good compromise.

I'm a card-giver and a card-lover.  I keep all of them in a box and it's nice to go through some of them once in a while.  I even have Valentine's Day and Birthday cards that my parents gave to me in the 1980s, lol!  I think they're sweet and I love giving/receiving them.  :)

Right, I can appreciate cards.

But I guess I felt like the majority of posters thought it was just unthinkable to not give a card at a wedding if you weren't going to give a gift.

But for my wedding there were plenty of people who I loved and still love with no card and no gift but gave their love and wishes in abundance.  So while I appreciate hand-written notes, I don't find them necessary or even understand why posters keep saying they're necessary, even sans gift. 

Haha, I'm with you Sera, no major paper cut accidents but most cards make me cringe, though I have for sure received some very sweet notes in ones.

@lily - So is it the time spent into getting the card that's important?  Like what if they called to say congrats and talked to you for awhile, like longer than just picking up a card while you were at the grocery store.  Would that then be OK?

 Sorry if this sounds really silly but I'm really trying to understand why cards are so necessary.