Post # 1
I’ve seen on WB a bunch of posters saying that people should at least bring a card if they don’t bring a gift.
I completely don’t identify with this. Why would I want a card? I’m fine with nothing but what I really don’t want is a card that I have to just recycle and feel guilty that someone wasted their money and trees on something that was meaningless to me.
I had a few close friends who couldn’t attend the wedding and if all they did was send a card I would have been offended, like why waste the piece of paper.
A card isn’t interactive. I find it much more appealing if someone calls, facebooks, emails, or does something to start a conversation with me to express congrats or regrets on not being able to attend.
I don’t even buy a card for the gift but just add a tag with a quick note.
Am I alone in just not understanding why cards are necessary?
Post # 3
I think it’s a thoughtful gesture. To me, card > facebook.
Post # 4
if you have a wedding website, you could include an area for guests to express themselves. thats pretty eco-friendly.
Post # 5
I completely disagree I love cards.
I think it is so much more personal than an email of phone call. Those are easy but with a card the gifter spends time choosing the right one and than rights a lovely message in it that you can keep forever!
I love receiving cards at Christmas and Birthdays and I always send cards in the mail at Christmas and Birthdays. And I am looking forward to getting cards for our wedding.
I actually prefer cards than gifts due to the sentiment of them. FI and I are fairly poor right now and so we do not get each other gifts for events (christmas, b-days, anniversarys, V-day) but we always give each other cards. And we have both kept EVERY SINGLE card we have given each other over the years!
Post # 6
A card is much much much more personal than an email or facebook. It shows the person took some time to make sure you knew they were happy for you and congratulated you on your big day.
Post # 7
Buying a card takes effort to me. You went to the store, picked a card, wrote a note, signed it, found a stamp, addressed it and put it in the mailbox. That’s time and effort to me and it really does mean something to me. Shows that you are thinking of me.
Post # 8
Honestly, I loved the cards we got for our wedding, and I was really kind of hurt when close friends/family didn’t give a card. As much as I love gifts (I mean, who doesn’t?), the cards with the nice messages are something we cherish.
If you choose not to bring a gift, the very least you can do in response to the hosts’ hospitality, is congratulate them on this important step in life, and express your happiness for them. It takes about three bucks, and two minute’s time. Probably the easiest thing in the world, and it means a ton to the couple.
Post # 9
I’m with the OP. 99.99% of all cards I’ve recieved meant nothing to me. A scrawled siganture? How is that meaningful? *shrug*
Post # 10
@Future Mrs. Martin – That’s really sweet. I do love hand written notes that share sentiment. I just don’t like the store bought card part. So I guess that’s another thing, I really like the sentiment I guess I just feel like most people just give a card with little sentiment attached.
For our wedding I cut out the notes people wrote on their cards/guest book/other random pieces of paper to put in our wedding album but didn’t keep any of the card part.
We made it clear to people that since a lot of them had to travel we much prefered presence over presents. So probably a third of the people there didn’t give gifts. We received ZERO cards without presents. So I guess I just feel like there’s some bridal world and other people world because I would have thought one of those thirty or so giftless people would have given a card if cards were that widespread meaningful.
Post # 11
I think maybe it stems from the fact that a handwritten note is considered the most gracious form of communication. But most people don’t have personalized stationary and most people suck at being able to express themselves, so a greeting card is the next best thing. They have cutesie sayings or poems or whatever it is that you want to say. Generally you should still add a line or two at the bottom, but some people don’t.
I see your point a little bit if all they did was send a card with their signature at the bottom…like they were too lazy to scribble something personal. But I still agree that card > e-mail > facebook??. But I think phonecall > card.
Side note: anyone still use e-greeting cards? I did in college, then I stopped because I found them distasteful communication-wise.
Post # 12
I love cards! Old fashioned mail never loses its appeal with me.
Post # 13
I’m curious if you’re a younger bride and this is a generational thing that’s changing?
I’m in my mid 30s and my whole family are very into cards. Every single holiday. So it would be very odd to not get a card. I personally find receiving a card very thoughtful. Someone took time to handwrite me a little note and afix a stamp with love. For me it is way more sentimental and meaningful than a quick electronic reach of an arm – be it facebook, email, phone call. Like the PP said – it shows they are thinking of me, not just in that moment they decided to shoot me an email, but for many moments throughout the whole card process. I meant so much to them, that they made an effort to show me.
I plan on having an album of my wedding cards (already have saved my engagement cards) to look at in years to come. I did this with my bereavement cards I receieved when my father passed away 10 years ago and I enjoy remembering the thoughts my friends and family chose to share with me that day. I’ll admit, I get a squishy feeling in my heart when I reread an email from my FH, too – but when I stumble upon a piece of paper he’s doodled or a little love note, having that tangible thing in my hand makes me weep a little. =P
Post # 14
@Vagabond – I scrapbook my cards to. And I do it in way that I can open and read each one. I have all my engagement cards scrapbooked and will do the same with the wedding cards.
Post # 15
Oh I don’t care if its like a Hallmark and they signed their name – that’s lame. But in cards I get the person usually writes a letter on the left hand panel. That might be a my friends/family thing though I guess.
Post # 16
If all they did was sign their name, then yes I’m totally with you – skip the card. When I say I’d rather at least receive a card, I mean a personal message written in a tangible form. I looooove cards and letters. My mom is a card-saver, and I’ve always loved going back and rereading them. Twenty yrs from now, I can totally see myself wasting an afternoon in bed pouring over our old wedding cards.