Post # 1
Just posting because of recent posts. So, my DH plays video games, watches sports and hangs with friends.
He plays on average 5-6 hours per week. So less than an hour a day. It never interferes with our relationship, intimacy, his full time job or anything else. It’s a hobby and he doesn’t spend of ton of time or money on it.
I am happy he does that rather than partying/drinking all the time. He doesn’t gamble a ton or do activities I would be less comfortable with. I equate his video game playing time to my time on the wedding bee. Is it mindless? Absolutely, but arguably, so is the weddingbee. We both enjoy each of our time on it, but we keep our investment low and reasonable.
I can see if someone was spending too much time or money on it, but video games in general are not an inherently bad thing. But I see so many bees saying, “thank god my man doesn’t play,” or “it would be a deal breaker if he did.”
So what’s the deal, bees?
Post # 3
I agree. I don’t see how its any different than us sitting on weddingbee!
Post # 4
FH and I both play video games, so I don’t know. Neither one of us lets it get in the way of life and we both know that game time only happens when we don’t have other stuff to do. It’s something he likes to do to blow off steam and I wouldn’t tell him to stop doing something he liked. I’m on Weddingbee. It’s kind of the same thing.
Post # 6
In fact, I know gaming is a way for DH to “spend time’ with his best friend who lives in another city. They haven’t been playing recently and I told him he needs to call and schedule some man time. I know he enjoys that time, so I want to ensure he gets it! Plus, I get to watch whatever I want on netflix while he plays his games 😛
Post # 7
@bmo88: I honestly dont get it either. Everyone needs something to help them unwind, for me it’s weddingbee and baking…
FI probably spends a similar amount of time playing, except for during my exams, when he plays more and I sit next to him studying. TBH I like it- it’s comforting being close to him while I’m stressed out and he’s having fun unwinding/ having some mindless fun!
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
The only negative video game post I’ve seen here was the one where the guy took $980 out of their wedding fund to spend on a PS4 bundle.
My guy plays Xbox for like 3 hours a day on weeknights, and like 5-6 hrs/day on weekends. *shrug* I wish he’d play less, but he probably wishes I’d get off the damn computer so we’re both victims of our tech vices, really. We’re still happy, and most of his gaming time has me sitting on the other couch in the living room with my laptop and we chat back and forth so it’s not really harming any part of our relationship.
(I might change my tune when the new Xbox comes out, because he’s getting the new Assassin’s Creed game and I lose him for about a week when those damn things come out, lol)
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I know way more hardcore gamers than I do occasional gamers. Our old roommate would take time off work and lock himself in his room to play for days on end when a new game came out. That would just not work for me because I like to spend quality time with my SO and that doesn’t involve watching him play a video game for hours and hours. Yes, some guys can control their gaming but it can be addictive for some people and in that case it’s no different than any other addiction.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I think you are directily quoting me re: it being a deal breaker! 🙂
I’ll just answer your question honestly, but each to their own and all that. I’m not sure why, but men playing video games has always just irritated the fuck out of me. It seems like a giant waste of time that is entirely pointless, and it dominates the central living space in a loud and obnoxious way. Or it causes them to be locked up in a computer room away from everyone else for hours at a time. I hate how it takes up a guy’s time when we could be doing something together. Even watching a movie is way more interactive… (I like to watch things with you, but no I’m not interested in watching you shoot bad guys.)
And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite based on how much time I spend on WB for example. I don’t care if he spends 3 hours a day looking at reddit or whatever. I just hate having video games going in our house. Any other internet activity, they’ll stop what they’re doing and you can still interact. Video games, they ignore you because they’ll lose at their game or whatever. (And luckily don’t have to, since he doesn’t play.)
That said, if your guy plays and you don’t mind, that’s great. Each to their own.
ETA: I don’t think I’d mind 5-6 hours a week. It just seems like most guys who play, play way more than that.
Post # 11
@bmo88: I don’t know what the deal is, but I’m with you. Maybe it has to do with the possible consequences or negative connotations of playing violent video games?
I’m in your boat. My bf doesn’t play every night, but does probably at least once a week, usually when he gets home from work to unwind before he goes to bed. Sometimes when I want to watch a show he doesn’t want to watch with me, he’ll go in the other room and play a game.
As you say, it doesn’t interfere with our life, he could be into stranger things, and it gives me time to watch my shows without his constant commentary.
To each his own.
Post # 12
FI likes to play games, I like to mess about on the laptop/watch rubbish tv/spend time with the horse. We all have our things!
Post # 13
@bmo88: Oh weird I didn’t realize people thought video games (that arent played alllll the time) were bad! On the weekend if my FI and I want a sleepy day in he will play video games and I will watch bravo or tlc or other stuff he hates if neither of us are in the mood to watch one of the shows we like together or go out. I don’t see it as a big deal because that is what he likes to do and they are mostly sports games and we both are really into sports so I actually watch him play sometimes. We are long distance right now while he looks for a job where I have just relocated for graduate school and skype as long as we are both home and sometimes while we skype he will play a game and I will surf online, WHO CARES?! I will say I would be annoyed if I wanted to go out and do something as a couple and he wanted to stay home and play a game but even sometimes when I go out with friends he will stay home and play if he has had a long day at work and just wants to chill out. He also doesn’t spend much money on his games so maybe thats what people were complaining about?
Post # 14
@bmo88: and some bees would rather have their SO party or gamble, which you just judged in your post. You said it yourself, there are things you’re less comfortable with. For some Bees that would be gaming.
Its just a matter or personal preference, no need to get defensive.
Post # 15
@bmo88: I agree. A hobby is a hobby… If it doesn’t hurt anyone or anything then it is no biggie.
Post # 16
@bmo88: just personal preference for us. We don’t like them and I have dated guys in the past tht play them all the time and I didn’t enjoy being in a relationship with a “gamer”. If it works for someone else great but it just doesn’t work for me.