What's the funniest encounter you've had at a bar?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I had a guy pretend to be deaf and try to talk to me in a bar. He was standing beside me for a while and then just started “signing” and seemed to be getting so frustrated. I felt bad but I just walked away because he was making me uncomfortable! LOL- then he came up to me and was like, “Just kidding- I’m not actually deaf. That was rude of you to walk away!”. So weird and funny.

Another one – back in my single days – I had met this guy at a bar at the Jersey shore (that should tell you enough about him, lol) and we exchanged phone numbers, but I never heard from him. I ran into him again a couple months later at the same bar, and his friend recognized us. The guy who’s number I had didn’t remember at all, and I was like, hold on, I have your phone number, I’ll prove it to you. So I called him – and he had me stored in his phone as “Winona Ryder”. LOL! I look nothing like Winona Ryder. 

Post # 6
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I was at a local bar with a bunch of friends one night, all crammed into a booth, and after a while I noticed two guys sitting at the bar who looked really familiar.  After staring at them for a while, I realize that they’re two guys I went to high school with!  I never really hung out with either of them, but there were/are so few people from my hometown in the city I now live in that I just had to say hi and ask what brought them to town.  So I get up, walk over, and cheerfully exclaim “Name1!  Name2!  What are you guys doing here?!”  

Well, as you’ve no doubt guessed, they were NOT Name1 and Name2, but good lawd, they were CLONES.  Total doppelgangers.  It was really eerie.  Confused, I even had to ask “really?  You’re not from Town?” because it just seemed too bizarre that TWO guys who looked exactly like my old classmates were in the same bar talking to each other.

Thank goodness both guys were very nice and understanding, and didn’t laugh overlong when I slunk back to my booth and buried my tomato-red face into a friend’s shoulder.  Later that night when we got home, I went on Facebook to find the actual guys I knew and told them what happened – they thought it was pretty entertaining.

I should mention that I was 100% sober for the entire encounter.

Post # 7
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@futurefishy:  lol.

my friend and i were out at a bar once, and we went up to get a drink and this guy sitting at the bar offered to buy us drinks. we told him ok, and he took my friends hands and said, “life is fleeting, but your beauty is everlasting.”

OK TIME TO GO! lolol we died.

Post # 8
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@futurefishy:  some people are just so incredibly ignorant it blows my mind. i would have given that girl a verbal bitchslap after she asked if he SPOKE TRIBE. are. you. kiddingmerightnow.

Post # 9
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I was at a bar a few months back. Now mind you, I’m 38.  I was in the bathroom, in the stall.  2 very young girls walked into the bathroom and went into the other 2 bathroom stalls…they started talking about hooking up with a guy and one better get his number or she’ll be pissed….then she started talking about how bad she smells, down there,  her vagina…then she asked if the other had any kinda wipes to get rid of the smell.  They were totally unaware that someone else was in the bathroom with them. I flushed, washed my hands.  I went out and told FI and his friends about it, and then we all pointed, held our noses and laughed at them as they were walking past and out of the bar. HILARIOUS. 

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@futurefishy:  Oh man. That Ghana story reminded me of a non-bar story. I had this supervisor who was so sweet and pretty and… not terribly bright. We were friendly and she told me about her dear friend who passed away. Apparently he was Native American. She told me she was going that night to get a tattoo in memory of him on her calf. 

“It’s going to be two feathers- like from headdresses- with smoke and have his name and ‘in memory of’ in Native American writing.”

Um. I asked her what language she was talking about and she just kept saying “Native American”. She didn’t know what tribe he belonged to, much less what laguage they speak. She also couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that many Native laguages are only spoken & have no writing whatsoever. 

I asked her if she didn’t know what language he spoke and didn’t know what it should look like, how was she going to get a tatoo of it? She said she’d just ask the tatoo artist. Apparently in her mind tatoo artists are literate in every language on earth!

She ended up coming back with the tattoo… in Old English lettering. Yeah. She looked like the gang bangers that roamed my grandmother’s neighborhood in East LA. It was awful and she went from being the cute girl in skirts and heels everyday to wearing only slacks at all times. Sad. 

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futurefishy:  LOL that woman was an idiot! I don’t really go to bars anymore, but back in college a bunch of us girls went and there was this lady sitting near us who kept being really loud. She looked like she was alone, and somehow she started talking to us about how she was from California and does porn. Then she gave us a business card where she was wearing a see thru mesh dress and her nipples were huge! It was so awkward. She also told us her boyfriend played in the NBA overseas (wtf) and showed us a picture of his penis. Then she invited us to her hotel room and my friends were like sure why not. We all pretty much fell asleep and then we left later that night. It was so random that when I think back to it it doesn’t even seem real.

Post # 14
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@futurefishy:  I was pretty shocked she went through with it after our conversation followed immediately by the tattoo artist saying he didn’t know “Native American writing”. Like, shouldn’t she have thought “Oh, maybe lia was right!”???

Anyway…. I’ve been thinking about bar/drinking situations. I have a few so it’s hard to pick. I’m going to share the two stories of how my friend Steve is to blame for my knee hurting everytime it rains….

Cruise: Steve was drinking in the casino all night. When he finally stood up his legs just went out from under him. Steve is 6’4″. I’m 5’3″ and had one other short friend, Dan, with me. Dan & I were trying to get Steve out of the casino but his tall body leaning on us while we climbed the stairs (elevator was too far away) was ridiculous. We got out to the outdoor deck, which was soaking wet for some reason. We all started slipping. Finally, Steven slips & falls to the ground, pulling Dan & I with him. Dan & I try to get up, but every time we start to rise, Steve panics and grabs us, trying to get up at the same time but instead pulling us back down again! This happened maybe a dozen times. I ended up laughing so hard I peed my pants! When we finally got up, Steve freaked out and went running along the deck, back to the stairs. I gave up and let him go. The next morning my sister said she found him curled up on the landing one floor from our cabin. 

Japan: Steve & I went to Tokoyo for a week. The first night we went out looking for gay bars (Steve is gay and we often hung out in West Hollywood). Finding the gay bars is a story in itself… but we were pretty toasted by the time we found an English guy who took us to a club. Once there everyone wanted to be our best friends. Steve is like GQ stunning and being so tall he really stood out. Between people buying us both drinks to try to get in his pants, Steve acting like my sugar daddy getting me drinks all night AND this tiny Japanese dude who was obsessed with my boobs, I was pretty wasted. We stumbled out of the bar and somehow found a cab. I kept almost falling asleep but saw that Steve was passed out, so I tried hard to stay awake. 

We finally got back to the hotel and there was no getting Steve out of the cab. The cabbie tried to help while a bellhop went into the hotel to get a wheelchair. I was in heels and a short dress but in my drunken state thought the best way to deal with it was to climb in the back with Steve, lay down on the seat and push him out with my feet. Yeah, that didn’t work. I got out, the cabbie stepped aside and I decided to wake Steve up— by slapping him repeatedly. The cabbie FREAKED OUT. I then tried pulling Steve out by his belt loops. When his jeans tore, I fell to the ground. Suddenly, Steve woke up and (because apparently, this is what he does when he’s wasted) he sprang from the cab & went running into the hotel. 

I threw money at the cab driver, grabbed my shoes & went runnig after him. Being much taller, his legs are MUCH longer than mine and he had a headstart so when I saw him running through the lobby in the wrong direction, I just started yelling “RIGHT! VEER RIGHT!!!!” which he did. Thanks to his detour, we got to the elevators around the same time. We rode up 5 floors and got out. Somehow, the bellhop beat us there & was standing in the hallway with the wheelchair. Steve, however, was still determined that running was the only way to get anywhere & he ran to our door and collapsed. The bellhop helped me drag him into the room, where I left him on the floor for the night. 

Did I mention this was a super fancy 5 star hotel? It was a good trip. 😛

Post # 15
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

I once had a guy approach me at the bar and say, “My wife would fuck the shit out of you!” 

What do you even say to that? Thanks?

Post # 16
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@futurefishy:  The weirdest one was when I was sitting at the bar with my bf (now FI) and I had just gotten my hair done eariler that day.  I was showing FI how short my layers were and commented how good the shampoo smelled, and some random dude sitting next to me asked if he could sniff my hair too!  I made FI switch stools with me!

Another time I was playing the video poker game at the bar and FI got up and went to the bathroom, all of a sudden this guy from a group of migrant workers plops down and starts talking to me about leaving with him I just kept my eyes on the machine trying not to be creeped out.  FI came out of the bathroom and saw what was going on and watched the guy keep hitting on me since he thought it was hilarious, finally FI comes back over to me and the guy kept telling him in Spanish “go away, I got this!” like he was succeding in picking me up. FI finally wedged his way back in between us and sent the guy packing. FI still laughs about this one. 

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