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My hubby is not remotely musical and really doesn't listen to much other than the radio. He WAS however OBSESSED with watching The Sing-Off, much to my music-loving delight.
In the finale when Ben Folds sang, he looked at me with wide, curious eyes and said "That guy is actually a SINGER? He sure didn't sound like it!" I laughed over that one for a while.
The next day he gets home from work and I am listening to the Ben Folds a Capella CD that came out a while ago. He asked me if it was The Sing-Off.
I <3 him! LOL
My husband got his wisdom taken out last week and was on vicadin the first night. He ran right into our closed bedroom door. To give him a little credit he didn't have his glasses on and it was a little dark. I laughed my head off for a good 10 minutes.
The other night I got up to go the bathroom around 4 AM so when I got back in bed the sound of the rain was really loud and I could not fall back asleep.
Then all of a sudden in his sleep my FI says something which to me sounded like Holla. I was so amused I said to him did you just say Holla which while alseep he said no I said TA DA! Then he rolled over and goes "you would just not understand".
At this point I am cracking up then he rolls over back towards me and runs into my legs which makes him proclaim, "I am older", which is true by like 6 months. It really made me wonder if he says crazy stuff like that all the time while he is asleep!
I asked him about it the next day and he had no idea what I was talking about, I decided he was dreaming he was some sort of tap dancer!!!
Are you calling my FI dumb? I'm offended. ^_^ SIKE!
FI got drunk one night and took a piss on the kitchen floor instead of the bathroom. He even washed his hands in the sink. I got up the next morning and was wondering why there was a yellow stain in the middle of the kitchen floor. Ugh!
@Miss Tattoo: Hahahaha that is too funny! A couple we know woke up to the girl's younger brother (who lives with them) pissing on their laundry in their room while drunk and half asleep. That type of thing is just too funny to stay mad at!!
Ok this wasn't recent but it was so ridic I have to share. When we were still living apart I used to sleep at FIs all the time and would have to drag around a bag of all my junk. FI would drop my stuff off at my apt so I didn't have to drag it around with me all day (he worked really close to my place). Sometimes he would forget his keys and just leave it on my doorstep.
So one day I get home, expecting a bag and its nowhere to be found, I call FI asking if he forgot to drop it off and hes like "No, I definitely dropped it off". So of course I panic because I assume its been stolen including all my jewelry/makeup. I start crying on the phone about how much its going to cost to replace all my stuff and FI tries to comfort me saying that he'll be able to find my stuff. He's like "maybe the bum stole your bag" (there was a bum living behind my building ooooo Hoboken, I promise I lived in a nice area). I was like "HOW did the bum get into my building". Anyway eventually I hung up because FI was being super unhelpful.
Like an hour later something dawns on me and I text FI "You forgot to drop my stuff off didn't you" and he replies "...Yeah". Apparently his master plan was to pretend the bum had my stuff and claim that he got it back from him the next day???
@mrs.peters.to.be: That's hysterical that he brought the cat with him! Silly boys.
This isn't all that funny, just kind of silly and cute (in my opinion): the other night, my boy told me he wants to wear his wedding ring before we get married, so everyone will know he's spoken for. <3
@Miss Tattoo: My Ex FI is notorioius for peeing in appropriate places. He sleep walks and has peed in the washing machine, out the window, on the antique rug, in my laundry basket. You name it.
@mrs.peters.to.be: That made me bust out laughing. I can only imagine your face being all "you took the cat to the party!?!?" Classic!
Lol these are all so funny!! This isn't really dumb, I don't have many stories since he's far away right now, but I told him a couple weeks ago that since he can't be home for our wedding planning because he's deployed, that I wanted him to choose our first dance song.. He comes onto skype today and starts sending me links to songs.. His list of songs included "Welcome to Hell" - Trace Adkins, "I Could Kick Your Ass" - Justin Moore, and "You Ain't Much Fun" - Toby Keith.. Lol he can be such a pain sometimes!! He did send some cute ones though..
@iheartnerds: That is actually very sweet! My FI said something similar except we were talking about getting legally married before our DW wedding. I said, "So do you have any specific date that you'd like me to get the JP to come to our house?" In my head I'm thinking 1 week before we leave to Mexico will work great. FI replies, "Hmm, why don't we do it Dec. 22 because that's when we got engaged!? That way I'll get to wear my ring!" All I could do was giggle...we're not getting married until April. I tried to explain that we can't get married that far in advance and he just doesn't get my reasoning for that at all. lol.
Wow, I didn't realize there were so many un-housebroken men out there. Ugh. Definitely not something I could handle. In 7 yrs, I've never seen DH that drunk.
Guess I'm just the old hag of the group.
Well, this is kind of lame but I'm going to tell it anyways. We went to Macys together so he could get some new clothes for work. He bought a bunch of stuff and he didn't take it out of the bags until later in the evening when he started packing (he travels every week). I was in the bedroom cleaning and he came in and ran to the sink and said "That idiot cashier at Macys left the hard plastic tag on my pants! Did you know those things spray PAINT all over the place?" and began vigorously scrubbing his hands. I was like, how the hell did you NOT know that? It was really cute. There are lots of little things he just doesn't know about, like the fact that women continue to wear their engagement rings after the wedding and various other things...
@mrs.peters.to.be: That is freakin' hilarious!!! love it
One evening as we were getting ready for bed, I noticed my FI spending a significant amount of time in the bathroom. When he finally emerged, he said, "LOOK sweetie! My toenail is so shiny!!"
Yes bees...he found the nail buffer and decided to go to town with it.
I love that man, I really do! Haha.
@SoontobeMrsA: One day my FI got off the couch and then spit on the floor! I looked over in horror and he had the most embarrassed face, he totally forgot where he was and just spit like he was outside. I could not stop laughing because it was so random. Luckily though all the pee has been in the bathroom!
@Meealissa: "There are lots of little things he just doesn't know about" You hit the nail on the head here! Too funny! What would our men do without us??
@Meealissa: those secuirty tags spray paint?! i never knew that..
@bohemianbailie: Hahaha that is funny too. I can totally picture being shocked to see that!
Glad I started this post because these comments are cracking me up!
@Gingersnap: When you tamper with them, yes! I forgot to add that he had been trying to remove it himself...
I guess there could be different kinds of security tags, though, so maybe not all of them spray paint...
Now that's a funny story which reminded me--my DH had to remove one of those from the shirt he wore to our wedding. I've no clue how he did it. He didn't have time to go back to the store.
He did know about the paint, though.
@ladyjustice: That totally made me LOL.
We just got back from our honeymoon, took a cruise to the Caribbean. He was in charge of downloading all the pics we took that day to the laptop every night. He created folders on the desktop with the island and date as the name and saved the pictures to the corresponding day... can anyone tell me where the heck St. Lucius and Tortiga is??? I hopped on the laptop one night and just started cracking up...
these stories are great! mine isn't all that funny.. just shows that sometimes guys speak before really thinking about what they mean to say. The other night I was changing into my pajamas before we went to bed, and he looked at me and smiles and says "you have a big butt." I just stared at him and I go, "what?!" He repeats himself, "you have a big butt." I wasn't upset over it, because I knew what he meant by it, I just thought it was so funny that he chose to say it that way. I go on to explain to him that "big butt" is not something a female usually likes hearing. He responded that it was a good thing, and that he likes it. I told him he should probably say you have a NICE butt.. not a BIG butt.. i still don't think he gets it 
@mrs.peters.to.be: I LOLed at that one! Left the cat at the party! That's really a new one!
@ladyjustice: Hahaha!
I don't have any of my own sadly! I wish I did, these stories are hilarious!!
these stories are making me crack up!! lol
There was one time that Fi was super sleepy in the morning and was getting ready, when all of a sudden he yells, " oh crap, I just put my pants into the fridge. I thought it was the clothes hamper." yep there was his jean in the food I made for dinner the night before.
I tell ya, boys are silly.
I was getting ready for work a few weeks ago and DH was still in bed because he had the day off. While I was getting dressed he started singing the theme song from "Charles in Charge." It was the weirdest sleep-talk I've ever experienced.
@mrs.peters.to.be: Yay he does some weird stuff sometimes but it sure does make life more fun!
My hubby drives a delivery route for a large dry-cleaners. Frequently he will talk about work in his sleep. A lot of times he'll ask about stop numbers. Now I have absolutely no idea where any of his stops are but I do like to tease him about our night-time conversations, so I'll usually egg him on. He gets all frustrated about home stop number three just can't be that particular house.
One night while we were visiting family in LA be started talking about needing to record something (he was asleep). I figured it had to do with work so I was asking him questions about what he needed to write down. He kept saying "The Words" so I would ask which words. Finally he says clear as a bell "Well I needed to write down Christ's words." So I ask where he was supposed to get them. "From the Bible," so far this makes sense. We both do a lot of Bible study, so ok. I ask if he was just going to write out the words in red and he got seriously upset with me, saying how this just wasn't going to work and how I totally didn't understand what he needed to do and how now he just wasn't going to do it. He was peeved! We're talking a good 3-4 minute conversation and he asleep the whole time. The next morning I asked him what that was all about...he had no idea. Didn't remember any of it. No clue what I was talking about. I love him.
***Now I have to add a disclaimer because he was sick with a high fever at the time*** BUT...
I was fixing a snack late at night and I asked if I could fix him anything. He asked what I was making myself and I said "a quesadilla". He looked at me weird and said "a case of beer?" Like seriously thought I was suggesting that for dinner! From a man who is toast after 2 beers I found this hilarious. I still kid him about it.
My man is hilarious--to me! I wish I could think of more instances but all I can thinking of right now is one night, when I was falling asleep he rolled over and said "ball sack!" I just DIED laughing and now whenever there is a serious moment he likes to do that just to get me to giggle. Funny boys I tell you!
@bohemianbailie: FH is such a nightmare if he is woken up within the first 3 hours or so of falling asleep.
The other week I had a major outline to finish and so I was up late at his place finishing it up (this was 2 or 3 am, way past either of our bedtimes). He went to sleep around midnight saying to wake him up to drive me back as he thinks I'll get kidnapped walking the two blocks to my apartment (yay waco...) Well I finished enough to pass it off as complete and went to wake him up. With enough prodding and literally pulling him limb by limb off the bed (which is good since he weighs two of me) he is kind of upright. For the next few minutes he wanders around the apartment looking for shoes and his coat mumbling how he figured out a matrix to make the decisions.
"You know, the decisions"
"No, I don't know."
"The ones [mumble] yes and no [mumble] matrix. You knoooow."
"You're still asleep aren't you?"
"Yeah [dopy smile with one sandle on and struggling with the second]"
"Go back to bed"
He remembered none of this the next morning.
And an hour ago he draped himself over me when I was talking to a BM as a signal that he wanted to go to sleep. That was a winner. He's 10" taller and weighs twice as much and he thinks I'd be good to drape over. Uh uh. I had to shoo him downstairs.
@Knubbsy-Wubbsy: I'm from Waco! He's right to drive you lol. Especially since I'm assuming (from context) that you live down by Baylor.
I love these! Im sitting in my office trying to stifle laugh after laugh!
I have one that goes along with Tattoo's :
the hubby works super hard and really long hours, so when he wants to go out with friends, I tell him to be safe and have a grand old time. this was how the story starts on Friday (as in two days ago). we had dinner with friends, a couple drinks at the bar down the street. i went home about midnight (had an early morning) and he stayed out and took a cab home later (got home about 330 or so)
i get up early the next morning (saturday, about 6am. waaaaay to early for the weekend) am milling around the house, brush teeth, etc. i go to use the restroom (which we only have one of) and wondered why the toilet was totally wet. i mean, like someone had poured a cup full of slightly dirty water all over it.
yes, ladies, thats correct. he went to the bathroom when he got home (i can only hope he didnt turn the light on) and peed all over the CLOSED toilet lid. not the seat, the lid. it ran/splattered all over the toilet, the little rug thing right in front of it, the back of the toilet, the floor and the tub.
greeeeeeaaaaat. i got a really good laugh about it and have given him a hard time for the last two days!
I was kissing my SO and I guess he saw something interesting. He says "Did you see that?!" I said "No, my eyes were closed". Then he says "Oh you're so romantic" LOL Maybe you just had to be there:)
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Hello Bees,
I'm starting to think I have a real winner here. Last night FI was drinking with his buddies at our place and decided he wanted to go over to his friend's garage to drink instead. Okay, no biggie, that's pretty standard. The next part I just don't understand. He decided he wanted to take our cat with him!! The friend who he was going to see owns our cat's brother, but they haven't seen each other in months. I guess FI thought it would be nice to let the cats have a get together too?? Haha.
Here's the kicker. I go to pick FI up around midnight because he's made himself sick with one too many rum and eggnogs. We get back to our place and I say, 'Hey have you seen the cat?" FI's response, "Oh yaaaaaaaa. I left the cat at the party." WTF!?? I had to go pick the cat up on my way to work this morning. Poor little Hugo!
Just thought I should share this WTF moment. What's the funniest/dumbest thing your SO has done lately?