Post # 1
A really good insult is one that targets your own insecurities, hitting you where it hurts the most. But this thread is not about good insults.
Has anyone ever tried to insult you, but what they called you was so completely off-base and inaccurate that you weren’t actually insulted at all? Share your stories here!
When I was in college, I got into a drunk argument with someone who called me the n-word in a fit of rage. As an upper-middle-class white college student, I can’t say I was particularly hurt by that one. Better luck next time, I guess. o_O
On another occasion, someone sent me anonymous hate-mail calling me a “fake bitch.” I’ll accept bitch, but fake? If anything, I have the opposite problem — I ought to be doing more filtering, not less. Haha I think plenty of people would prefer if I pretended to be a little different from who I actually am. But alas, I don’t, so I must confess that that particular hate-mail didn’t really bring a tear to my eye either.
How about you? Anyone ever taken a swing and missed by a mile?
Post # 2
Have I told you that I patiently wait for your posts and hope they come on a daily basis? lol! I’m creepy like that…
Anyway, these might not be exactly what you’re looking for but here goes!
I think I just got an insult on WB – Someone mentioned the appropriate standing/walking positions on the escalator and sidewalks while in their city as if it weren’t common knowledge/courtesy. I was a little annoyed, but realized she knows nothing about me and how much I do travel, despite me calling a city by it’s “tourist” name. Whateves!
I’m trying to think of some good ones…Oh maybe a couple months ago when I was waiting at a solid green light to make my left turn. This guy behind me was wanting to go straight, and then all of a sudden jerked his car around me (after waiting for at least 30 seconds) and sped past calling me an idiot. Yes, I’m clearly an idiot for waiting for a safe moment to turn my vehicle.
Post # 3
Ryansgirl: aww shucks 🙂 I love starting threads — love it too much, probably — so I try to keep it to just a few a week.
Someone angry honked at me the other day in a similarly stupid situation! I was turning right onto a road with two lanes in each direction. So I did the legal thing and turned into the right-most lane, then immediately popped my blinker on and moved over into the left lane. While the guy behind me at the light turned right into the left-most lane, tried to accelerate like a bat out of hell, and then shouted and honked at me for being “in his way” after I had moved in front of him. Uh, I’m really sorry I hindered you in your quest to do dangerous and illegal things, buddy. You’re right; I’m a terrible driver! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, OH WISE AND KIND GENTLEMAN!
Post # 4
What does being upper middle class have to do with the n word?
I was called a “triflin’ hoe” not too long ago. People are so classy.
Post # 5
ilovebacon: They must have been Destiny’s child fans…. lol
Post # 6
I was called the c-word for “pulling out in front of” someone who had their turn signal on but didn’t turn. And then continued on with their turn signal on.
Post # 7
-Once a guy told me I have “average ankles”. I don’t even know what that means, but he clearly meant it as an insult.
-A girl in high school once called me fat. I wear a size 0. So, that was kind of a fail. She should have said I have a big nose, because I totally do.
Post # 8
ilovebacon: Hahaha, that’s so 90s!
Post # 9
I have another driving story. Once when I was a young, timid teen with a brand new license I accidentally cut off an elderly couple with my car. They were clearly upset, but I threw them an “I’m sorry!” and a guilty shrug and thought that was the end of it. Nope, when I stopped at the next light they pulled up next to me where the older gentleman driving rolled down his window to scream “ARE YOU ON DRUGS?” at me. I had to park at the Blockbuster on the corner because I was crying so hard I couldn’t drive.
Post # 10
One of my bridesmaids called me old the other day. I’m 28. Of course that was part of a long story which I wrote but I’m now editing…..
She is only 6 years away from being my age.
She is clearly an idiot
Post # 11
swonderful: “She should have said I have a big nose, because I totally do” — LOL that’s great! Best way to handle a failed insult right there, actually. I can just see it. “Excuse me, I see you’re trying to hurt my feelings, but you’re going about it all wrong. If you must know, I’m fairly sensitive about the hair on my upper lip, as well as the fact that my voice sounds kinda squeaky sometimes. Those might be better avenues to pursue if your goal is to make me feel badly about myself.”
Post # 12
iarebridezilla: Im with Ryansgirl: I paitentily await your posts and they never disappoint.
A few months back my brother called me a self involved selfish, spoiled, bitch who doesnt care about anyone but herself and takes advantage of people and blah blah blah. The list seriously went on and on and on and couldn’t have been farther from the truth (not that I am perfect, but he was way off base) The best part was that he accurately described himself!
Post # 13
MrsPiggles: I love it when people bust out “old” as an insult. Because really, no matter what your viewpoint on the subject is, I think we can all agree that people in their 20’s or younger are objectively young.
It’s why I don’t mind at all that I have a ton of gray hair that I have to dye. I have gray hair because of genetics, not age. 28 ain’t old.
Post # 14
I was called a racist at work by an AA customer because I wouldnt sell him prescription cat food without a prescription.
Post # 15
ChicoryCreek: Prescription cat food exists?? Whats it even for?? lol