Post # 1
I’m incredibly lucky, and I know it. But every once in a while he says or does something that shows so completely that he gets me, that I am knocked out with gratitude that I found this man.
Last night at dinner, after two days of me grinding my teeth over a guest list disagreement with my mother, he related a conversation he’d just had with the best man about what he does to stay cool about all the stress and anxiety of planning, always ready to go with the flow (and he really is. he’s interested in details, but always lets it go rather than get too invested in the outcome). He said to me: I know that the last thing you need right now is for me to stress. You would stress over me stressing, so I’m just not going to. It’s important to me that you have less stress, and I refuse to add to it.
It was exactly, precisely what I needed to hear, and it calmed me right down.
So I wondered: what has your Fiance done or said during planning that was exactly what you needed, right then?
Post # 3
My Fiance is actually planning half the wedding :). Then again, I reallllly wanted to go to the courthouse and he (and my mother) wanted a “real” wedding, so I let him know that we weren’t going in that direction unless if he was doing half the work. Wedding planning is not interesting to me in the least, it just feels like a part-time drudge job. And frankly, I think wedding planning should be (at least closer to) 50/50. I understand that planning a wedding is fun for some women, but there are some tasks that can’t be fun for anybody, and the Fiance should have to do this work before any bridesmaids! When I read about FIs that don’t want to do anything or aren’t even supportive, it makes me a bit sad.
Post # 4
Him: I want to give you the wedding that YOU want.
Me: And I want to give you the wedding that YOU want. So where do we meet in the middle?
Him: The wedding I want is the one where you are smiling, laughing, happy, and are my wife.
(this was after a lengthy discussion about what we could afford vs. what we wanted vs. what society says should be included in a wedding).
Post # 5
He’s working and going to school fulltime, so I really dont expect much from him. I took him to the florist with me and he was SUPER grumpy frot he rest of the day about it. I told him that was not cool, I’m doing pretty much everything as far as planning goes so spending an hour at the flower shop is the least he can do. I think he got the point cause I was super stressed about making the STD’s and I came home one day and he had made the template on the computer for me. 🙂 they weren’t what I wouldv;e done, but I didn;t say anything because I was just so grateful that he took the initiative to do it for me 🙂
Post # 7
The most supportive thing he’s said was “Don’t worry about anything, baby, I’ll make sure you have everything you want.” And he’s given input on what his vision of my dress is (surprised me) and also what he would like the colors of the flowers to be. Trying to think of what else, lol . . . he’s not really into as much of all the little details as I am, I have wedding on the brain 24/7. I’m glad for this board or I’d be driving him nuts.
Post # 8
I can’t wait to see how beautiful you’re going to look
(he thinks I look good all the time. I have him hoodwinked lol)
Post # 9
Whenever I’m stressing about something wedding-related, my Fiance reminds me (with a little kiss) that we should always be focusing on preparing for marriage and growing together, not just the wedding prep–which is a small detail compared to everything 🙂 I love this man, such wisdom!!!
He says so many other sweet/funny things I can’t remember.
Post # 10
@craftybridelovesnerdygroom: Sweet and funny, aren’t they wonderful?
Post # 11
@Sunfire: Yes. Every time I ask him what he thinks about a veil or detail about my dress or shoes, etc. he always says, “Well, what does it matter if I’m going to rip it off you anyways?”….Hahahaha! I can’t ask his advice when it comes to my attire.
Post # 12
@craftybridelovesnerdygroom: LMAO!! Men, you gotta love their one-track minds. At least they have their priorities in order.
Post # 13
the best thing he did in the whole 5 days we have been engaged (lol that counts right?) is let me know that there are only three things he cares about when it comes to decisions for the wedding. open bar, food and cake. typical. See the thing is, im a total control freak and its easier if I have creative control and budget control. Some might look at this differently but I guess to me this just lets me know that a. he wants me to be happy with our wedding day b. he knows me well enough to know that being in control makes me happy c. im a planner and this is my comfort zone and having other hands in the pot would just make me nervous. His role is to help give final ok’s on things and to be there when i have my meltdowns to hold me and remind me to breathe. I love him 🙂
Post # 14
“I’ll do all the work”
We are already married, but wanted to participate anyway!
We did talk about what we/I wanted, or he would present a few options and we would talk about them, but he really did do almost all the planning and organizing. Only things I really did “all on my own” were buy my dress and choose the flowers for my bouquet. It just worked out better that way. We were having a fairly short engagement (2 1/2 months), and I was pretty crazy busy with work and he had more time. Plus, he is awesome at planning and organizing. I wanted to marry him, obviously, but was not that interested in “wedding planning”. I did a lot of “that sounds great babe!” and “well, which do you prefer, because I am okay either way”.
But really he said lots of great things:
“All we really need is you and me…and the officiant”.
“I just want to be married to you, the rest is just details”
And so on. My wedding planning (or my lack thereof) was pretty easygoing for me (and for him too, actually, as we just did whatever we wanted, ha ha!).
Post # 15
Keeps reminding me that nobody will care. Not in a bad way, of course…just in a way that brings me back to reality.
I was worrying about us not having a wedding website, and he reminded me that plenty of weddings happened before the Internet existed, and nobody will care that we don’t have a website. They know how to get in touch with us.
Another one was the invitations=–do we do inner envelopes? What about calligraphy? WHAT IF OUR RETURN ADDRESS STAMP IS CROOKED?!?!? Him: nobody will care. They don’t keep the envelope.
Mostly, I need him to tell me to take a deep breath and chill. 🙂
Post # 16
we haven’t been planning long, but the other day i was looking at a bunch of wedding sites and was overwhelmed with how many ideas and choices and said to him ‘how will we ever do this’ and he just said ‘i don’t care about what colors or flowers we have, i just want to marry you. simple as that’.