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My FI has fallen in love with a certain BM dress. I ***LOVE*** that he's involved in the planning with me, since I'm uber indecisive. However, he has his heart set on a dress that I personally think is a little bit on the ... expensive ... side. One BM is currently un-employed, and one is my freshly turned 18 yr old sister that will be starting college in the fall. The other BM and my MOH probably won't have issues with it, but it's still a hefty price tag.
What do you ladies think? What's the most you've ever paid for a BM dress, and do you think this is wearable again? Does that help "justify" some of the price tag, or is it still too much even if it is re-wearable? HALP!
OR this color ..... we like both.
*(screenshots taken from enzoani's website)
hmmm honestly love? Im expecting my BMs to pay what I did- (if at all possible!) 99-150, or 160 TOPS.
We all have debt, one is unemployed, and I might be a grad student- in the end, money has to be saved :P
but if I had an above minimum wage job at say 12 bucks an hour? yeah I would pay like 200 bucks...but honestly, thats about it.
I think I might be a very cheap bride/person lol.
@Bellanouva: thanks for the honest reply. yeah my moh does well, and one of my bms sells kirby's (it's a two thousand dollar vacuum that can literally change light bulbs lol) but yeah....
this dress is like $700. I *WISH* I was kidding.
Wow, that is a lot of money... As lovely as they are, maybe it's worth trying to find cheaper alternatives. I'm actually paying for my BM dresses ($275 each but I'm only having two) as I feel they shouldn't pay for being my BMs! They're doing me a favour so it's my way of thanking them. To be very honest, I'd be a bit annoyed to be expected to pay more than $300.
That dress is gorgeous, but if a bride asked me to fork over $700 for a dress i'd wear once (and yes, i'd only wear it once because i don't ever wear dresses) i'd have to back out of being a bridesmaid. Perhaps you can find someone to make a cheaper knock-off if your heart is set on it?
Well price is not a problem so long as you're shouldering the expenses for the dresses, otherwise it might be a good idea to take into account your bridesmaids' financial situation. I've been a bridesmaid at least 13 times and 12 of those times, the bride paid for the dresses - the one time I paid, the dress was $200. All 13 brides told me that you can re-wear the dress and they were all full of BS! I've never ever worn a bridesmaid dress again. They probably might have chosen to wear the dress again themselves but keep in mind everyone's taste and style is very different. Being bestowed the "honor" of being a bridesmaid is certainly pricey and as brides, we need to be very considerate of that. It's an honor, not a invitation to drain someone's bank account. I'm not saying that you'd do that, but I've witnessed enough girls go overboard with their expectations from their bridesmaids. If you and your fiance really like the dresses but find they're quite pricey, why not try and get a seamstress who can recreate the dress at a lower cost. Happy planning :)
If you are paying for their dresses it is not an issue.
If you are expecting them to pay $700, I think that is an issue. That is way too big an ask!
@froydis: I'd personally LOVE to pay for our BMs dresses, but at $700 each it ain't gonna happen. I'm sitting here cringing just thinking about the conversation just asking them what they think..... AHHHHH.
@Lee_Ann: I would hate for anyone to back out. 3 are family, and 1 is my bff from grade school. We've known each other since we were three, so she's practially a second sister to me. Great idea about having someone re-create it!
@Mrs. LuvsDisneyland: yeah, I mentioned in the OP that one BM is my 18 yr old sister, and one BM is unemployed, so I've def thought about their finances!!! And I do like the dress, but not enough to spend $2800 so my girls don't need to buy them. So I personally don't want to ask them to each spend $700. Note title ... aka is my FI crazy? ;)
@MrsOliveBird: that's exactly what I keep telling my FI. he just keeps saying "you should ask them, you never know."
Um. Yeah honey, I know :)
definitely recreate or foot the bill, let your fiance know that he must be willing to take that money out of the budget to make the BMs wear that, it would be rude to ask someone if they thought that was acceptable.
another way you could get a general idea might be to talk about the dresses and ask what the crazy highest number they could afford would be or what they would like to keep it under.
good luck...this is why my man gets a few picks but the budget was all set by my family so no fights on that one
@cwat12: I love that idea.... I've already emailed my MOH pics, so I'll wait to see what she says about it tomorrow. I'll see the rest of my BMs this weekend when I go home (FL) to visit, so I'll try to get a general idea then. Thanks :)
@Miss Godiva: 700?! *faints*
Im with the PPs- recreate or change things up and find dresses your BMS can afford
@Bellanouva: I KNOW! But FI won't budge, he thinks it's reasonable b/c they'll be able to wear it again. I told him that being able to wear it again doesn't matter if they can't afford it!!!
I spent between $40 to $60 for my BM dress. It's been 2 years since I was in a wedding where I footed the bill, so I can't remember exactly.
Honestly? It's a nice dress, but $700 is a bit much. I can't imagine where else I would wear a dress like that so I wouldn't be able to justify the pricetag. I second the searching for cheaper versions suggestion.
hahahahahahahha!!
$700???
tha's more than alot of BRIDAL gowns.
don't mean to sound rude... it's just... well, it's ridiculous.
The most I ever paid was $215, which was a stretch because the absolute max I am willing to go is $200. If someone asked me to pay more, I would politely decline to be in their wedding. I have never worn a BM dress again.
It's nice that FI wants to be involved in the wedding planning but maybe he can work on the DJ/Band or a signature cocktail. Leave the tough stuff to the women:)
I don't care if I would wear the dress again ten times over, $700 is absolutely ridiculous!! That's more than a lot of people spend on their wedding gowns! Honestly, I wouldn't even approach your bridesmaids about this. It puts a lot of pressure on them to acquiesce because you (or in this case, your FI) really love it. It's nice that he is so involved but considering the financial situations of your BMs, I'd just tell him you asked and they couldn't afford it without ever actually bringing it up with them. Honestly, even if they could afford it, it's just way way way too much to ask. If you can't afford to pay for their dresses either, I'm not sure how you can expect them to. When you put together all the other bridesmaid expenses, such as bachelorette, shower, presets, travel, etc...you end up looking really selfish to ask them to spend another $700 on a dress they will in all likelihood wear once.
Its definitely not worth it, and I wouldn't have the nerve to even ask them. Come on now...why does he like it so much anyway? Its just a dress and really nothing special for such a high price tag!
I'd tell him the BM dresses are something you want to do with just your BM's, and let him decide on the male attire.
To answer your question about how much is reasonable....under $200. in my book.
The most I have paid was 280, and it was definitely a big deal for most of the bridesmaids, including myself. I think $700 is too much unless you are willing to split the costs.
The most I ever paid was $215 and I thought that was too expensive.
I would NEVER spend $700 on a dress (other than my wedding dress) even if I got to pick it out myself.
I would be appalled if a bride asked me to pay this much for this dress.
Sorry, if you asked me to pay $700 for a dress I would back out of your wedding. I won't even be spending $700 on my own wedding dress, nevermind a bridesmaids dress.
Obviously your FI doesn't have much experience with BM dresses (why would he?). $700 is just way too much to even consider asking them about. My girls paid $180 plus alterations, and I felt bad making them spend even that much!
Give him another project, and find a similar, cheaper dress.
WOW. $700 is a lot. I paid just a little more for my wedding gown. The dress is beautiful, but honestly, your BMs are never going to wear it again, at least not enough to make it worth the money. I would have to back out of the wedding if a bride asked me to pay that much, and I have a full time job that pays reasonably well.
$700.00 is more than my wedding dress. Now, I realise my gown is ridiculously inexpensive.
It is a beautiful gown but I think if you're going to shell out that kind of money on a dress, it should be one that
A) you choose yourself
B) you're choosing it for a particular reason that is more... selfish (prom/wedding/Grammy awards.. etc :P)
What about a knockoff?
my wedding dress was less than that. i would be insulted if i were a BM and the bride asked me to spend that on a dress. i would be more insulted it the bride were asking even if she knew it was beyond my price point and was asking because her FI felt strongly about the dress i was going to wear. the whole 'you won't know unless you ask' thing, could be fine, or you could end up making the whole group of them feel put out. everyone will be looking at you, in your dress, on your wedding day, i wouldn't put this much into the BM's dresses.
would you be able to go shopping with them, that way they could try things on and see what they felt comfortable in and stay within their price range (since they are paying)? if you are set on this dress, you may want to meet with a dressmaker before talking to them, that way you can show it to them and explain that you know it's too much and how you made it more reasonable (at least this way it shows them you took their circumstances into account). good luck!
While it's a gorgeous dress, some bride's don't even spend that much on their gowns. I think it's incredibly ridiculous to ask someone to pay that, and no, the dress is not very wearable.
Yeah.. I would say $200-300 would be tops for a reasonable "high end" amount to spend on a bridesmaid dress. $700 is just crazy! I don't think it's worth asking them, it will just cause a lot of uncomfortable situations.
I told my best friend I would be able to spend $200 max for my bm dress for her wedding, but that I would prefer around $170. It's entirely possible to find really great dresses in that price range. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I don't think anyone will be able to stand with you if it involves that price tag.
To the OP:
If your FI wants them so badly, he can purchase them! And since it's his idea, he is not allowed to pay out of your shared wedding budget but instead has to pay with his 'mad' money (beer, golf, hockey games,.. whatever his little indulgences are... nixed)
Lol!
I'm half kidding, but this could be a solution! 
PLEASE do not ask your BMs to wear this dress! $700.00 would PISS me off if I was one of your girls, I would have to back out if you asked me to buy this! I'm sorry to be so blunt, but $700.00 is more than I spent on my wedding dress, so I'm a little shocked by this post. Tell your FI he's crazy and keep looking. And, where on earth would they "wear this dress again??"
Yes, your FI is crazy. Haha, just kidding but $700 is really too much for a BM dress. I think under $200 is reasonable, but I would personally pay $250-$275 if it were a really awesome dress. Don't forget there are alterations, shoes, undergarments, jewelry, hair, makeup, etc to pay for after the dress - not to mention the shower and bachelorette party. I think it's unfair to expect someone to shell out that much money.
I am still super pissed at my friend for making me pay over $450 for the dress alone (it was Amsale and AWFUL!). I plan on letting my girls pick their own dresses in a color of my choosing.
ETA - I would totally step down from being a bridesmaid if it were even suggested that I purchase a $700 gown that I will probably never wear again. There is more to being a bridesmaid than just buying the dress. There are accessories, hair and make-up, bridal showers, bachelorette party, etc. A $700 would be unreasonable in my opinion.
Let me start by saying it is a beautiful dress. However, I'm not sure when your BMs would be able to wear this dress again. It is a very formal dress, so unless they are attending black tie events on a regular basis, I just don't so it. Personally, I would not spend $700 on a dress for myself (apart from my wedding dress), let alone for a bridesmaid dress. Keep in mind your girls would still need shoes, and possibly hair/makeup, and travel, plus accessories. Keep looking, I'm sure you can find another BM dress you love just as much at a more reasonable price point.
I would never ask my girls to pay more than $150, especially if there's a chance they would need alterations. I'm also in the situation where a couple of my girls are in very rough financial patches. One BM is very close to my family and she has 3 kids and a (mostly) dead-beat husband. So my mom is buying her dress (they ranged $100-$130 for everyone) and I bought her daughter's flower girl dress.
Personally, I would never want to pay more than like $170 for a BM dress, and I make pretty decent money!
He's crazy! I didn't pay that much for my wedding dress. Not to mention, even though it is a nice dress and I would wear the pink version again, I would never have a reason to wear it. How often do you wear a floor length gown? Maybe your sister could wear it to a college formal but that's about it unless your friends get invited to fancy parties frequently.
TBH, if I was a BM or MOH in a friend'S wedding and they sent me a $700 dress I would be super pissed but I am not sure I would know how to tell you. Even if your BMs could afford to spend $700 on a dress, that is beyond too much to ask of them. I could afford to buy the dress whioch is why I would not feel comfortable complaining to a friend that I can't afford it but that's just about what I pay for rent each month! Unless your MOH has positive feedback, I would not even mention that you are considering such a pricy dress, particuarly as it is clear you also think it is too expensive, do not put your friends and family in the position that they have to say no to you.
Yea i'd have to agree with everyone else. The most I paid on a BM dress was $200. I would even go as far as $300 but ya $700 is def pushing it! Not to mention throwing you a bridal shower and travel expenses if any.
$700?!?!?!?! Unless your bridesmaids are independently wealthy or you’re willing to pay for it, that is an absolutely ridiculous amount to ask them to pay for a dress. The most I’ve ever spent is $150 and the highest I’m willing to go is $200. Anything more than that and it’s coming out of the wedding gift fund.
My wedding dress was $769 and I had a hard time justifying that price tag. I would probably roll on the floor laughing if I was asked to buy a $700 bridesmaid dress.
I've been in a lot of weddings, the most expensive dress being 350/400 but the bride helped pay for it.
If I was asked to pay 700 dollars for a dress I would politely tell my friend the bride that unfortunately I would not be willing to buy the dress and that I was sorry but couldn't be a BM anymore.
It's a beautiful dress but honestly you can find something beautiful for half that cost.
Oh and yes, your FI is CRAZY! Would he ask his GM's to pay $700 for a tux?
$700 for a BM dress? Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! You gotta be joking! Don't even THINK about it. That is at least 3 times the highest price for a BM dress.
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