Post # 1
Am I the only bride who’s gotten rude RSVPs? I expected a few, because we’re a gay couple and we sent invites to some pretty homophobic family… but even a few supportive friends seem to think that a wedding RSVP is the perfect place to joke around! I’ll give you an example of each that I’ve recieved:
From some homophobic relatives, referring to my FI’s deceased father Rusty: Instead of putting their names in the blank space, they put “You know Rusty wouldn’t approve of this GIRL” and then checked no, they weren’t coming. I mean, who does that?! Who brings up someone’s DEAD father in an RSVP???
From a good friend who, I’m sure, thought they were being funny: Name: Harry Butts. Yeah, real cute.
BTW, the only reason I knew who either of these RSVPs were from is that we numbered our postcards. So anyone else? Anyone else get rude RSVPs, or am I the only one?
Post # 4
I haven’t gotten any yet…but I have had comments about the wedding. People don’t really care what they say sometimes for some reason, even though it’s obviously disrespectful. I’m sorry you are having to go through this. I would be mad too.
Post # 5
i’m sorry people have been so rude 🙁 especially the really hateful, homophobic responses–that’s just uncalled for and horrible. shame on them!
we got a joke one like you mentioned–our best man signed his “captain america,” but we actually thought it was funny, it was sort of an inside joke. the worst rsvp was actually in person–my aunt gave me some completely b.s. excuse to my face about why she and her family weren’t coming. i know she was lying and just didn’t want to come since she has a complicated relationship with my mom and their other sister. but it wasn’t exactly rude, just hurtful and disappointing…
Post # 6
I’m so sorry someone would be that mean and disrespectful. You shouldn’t have to go through that. Good riddance that they aren’t coming, you want to be surrounded by the people you love most on your wedding day and who will support you from day 1. ((hugs))
Post # 7
One but it wasn’t based on the marriage choice, sorry about that one, sounds terrible. We did get one from one of his “aunts” (she’s really a great aunt) that had her name, checked no and on the back said something very close to “I don’t know how you expected all of us older folks to come to your wedding being so far away, it is considered very rude to expect guests to travel that far” Yes we are having a semi-destination wedding but she’s only 3 hours away if we had the wedding in my home town which was option #2 she’d have to travel 12 hours.
Be happy you won’t have mean crab apples at your wedding.
Post # 8
wow i’m so sorry! that’s completely awful. i’m guessing you had to send a courtesy invite to your homophobic family members?
i haven’t gotten any rude ones so far.
Post # 9
YES!!!! My aunt basically bolded the regret option and typed a nice long note saying that she was praying for me (my mother and I have issues and I am not planning on inviting her to the wedding – this is my mom’s sister) and that she wasn’t coming if her sister wasn’t coming and a whole bunch of crap. I took the high road and sent her a nice email saying I understood and left it at that. **HUGS**
Post # 10
Rude actual RSVP was probably better than the ones that we had to call on the phone.
The rudest I got were the standard write-in votes for uninvited +1’s.
Also, Filet Mignon was one of the meal choices, but the caterer could only cook them one way (medium). I’m a vegetarian, so personally, I would have been happy to get rid of the choice entirely, but thought it was considerate to have it there for those that prefer meat. I bet 5 out of 40 people who ordered it wrote in an unsolicited and sometimes adamant cooking instruction. I thought…if you’re only going to enjoy your steak if it’s “just so”, why didn’t you order the salmon or pasta?
I’m sorry that you got homophobic RSVP’s. That has to be scarey when you’re trying to include your family, but not sure what some of them might do. I was a little nervous that there might be a couple of crude guests who would think that they were really funny and would make my MOH and her partner feel uncomfortable, even if they didn’t think or realize that they were being mean. So far as I know, everyone was perfectly genteel when it counted.
Post # 11
I am sorry you have gotten some rude responses, people tend not to think these days.
I get where june42011 is coming from with the older generation. FI’s aunt her excuse besides a long drive (which she could ride with FI’s parents really) is she doesn’t want to kennel her dog or have someone doggy sit. Kinda irks me because FI is the youngest and the last to get married and his aunt is being a stick in the mud about all this.
Post # 12
They checked “No” and wrote the word “Sorry” on the front, then in the inside of the RSVP put “We couldn’t find a dog motel.”
This was actually from a fairly close member of FI’s family… she did come to my bridal shower and gave me $100 and told me it wasn’t really about the fact that they couldn’t find a motel where they could bring their dog (they live about 2 hours away), but she’s worried she’d forget to take her “pain pills” at the wedding.
We’re now having about 20 more people to the wedding than originally planned, so I am fine with the pain pill-addicted relative not wanting to come.
Post # 13
Noone should do that to anyone. Sorry.
Post # 14
I’m so sorry to hear about your rude responses. The rudest responses we got honestly were ‘no’s’ from people who damn well should have made the effort to attend or at least send a gift. These cards didn’t even have an explanation or any kind of congratulations sentiment.
Post # 15
How horrible! I haven’t gotten any rude ones, but in my opinion one of the rudest things is not replying at all. I mean, how hard is it to stick it in the mail? Many people have not resonded at all so I have to call them, but also many friends have told me they just assumed I knew they were coming…… how is that? But I still have to hunt them down to find out what they want to eat! And I wouldnt have wasted all that money on stamps if I had known no one would send them back. Grrrrr…..
Post # 16
Yes! I invited a couple to our whole day and wasnt intending on inviting thier two grown up children at all (I havent seen them in 15+ years!). When I realised they thought they were all invited, (even though only the mum & dad were sent a STD) I bumped up the two kids to evening only guests and sent thier mum a very polite email expalining the situation- not that I really needed to?!
I got an email back saying:
Well this is rather embarrassing- I thought were should all be invited. We come as a unit and you will not split us up fo rthe sake of a few seats at your wedding ceremony. thanks but no thanks.
Clearly, someone has issues that have nothing to do with me or my FI. Same with you- these rude replies show thier problem, its not your issue and do you really want people who act this way at your wedding?! HELL NO! 🙂