What's the rudest thing people have said/done regarding your wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
9207 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Rude comments I have gotten tend to run with the theme ‘are you even going to get married?’ ‘is your wedding ever going to actually happen’, and so on. Given that we have been engaged nearly 3 years and no official wedding date booked in yet, it kind of makes sense, but it still hurts, mainly when such a comment comes from family or a friend.

However one rude thing that something that someone has done, although I guess also said, is what FI’s cousin did/said, which I have mentioned before. She told us (well FI and FMIL, FI told me) that we had to have her daughter, who was about 3 or 4 at the time, as a flower girl and her son, who was 1, as a ringbearer. Frankly I hadn’t even thought about having a flower girl or ringbearer at all until that comment, and I was shocked. I think it came about partially because she still has a slight grudge against FMIL for not having her as a bridesmaid in my FILs wedding over 20 years ago. FMIL and FFIL got married in a courthouse ceremony, and so I am not even sure how many even attended, they certainly didn’t have a wedding party.

And my sister and ex-BFF both insisted they would be my MOH, and I guess I wasn’t as shocked with them as I was with FI’s cousin, because I knew them better and their personalities. They almost got into an argument over it before I even had a chance to say anything. I told them how much that annoyed me and that it was my decision, given I was the bride, the one getting married, not them. 

So I guess what FI’s cousin did annoyed me more. Your coworker’s comment is awful, ‘are you even old enough?’ Yeah not a nice thing to say.

ETA: Oh I just thought of another one, the receptionist at my optometrist LAUGHED when she saw my ring, asked if I was engaged and I told her yes and when the wedding would hopefully happen (at the time I thought it would be 2015). I am not sure which she was laughing at, the fact that I was engaged or that we were having a long engagement…

And we haven’t even started officially planning and booking things yet!

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Jacqui90.
Post # 3
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

amanda3334455:  It’s funny… I’ve had several people – a few friends, coworkers, as well as the ladies who did my hair and make-up for our engagement photos – ask me if I’m “old enough” to be getting married and I don’t find the question particularly rude. Then again, I was also expecting it because a) I’m 22 and I know people have opinions on young brides and b) I look about 16.

Rude things I’ve heard/experienced:

1. One of my friends offered to help me with planning (she works in the event planning industry) and after I said that’d be nice, she asked if she could be a bridesmaid. I felt backed into a corner/unable to say no so now she’s #6 of my bridal party. I’ve gotten over it, though.

2. Several people have asked how much the wedding is going to cost us. 😐

I’m sure more things will arise in time. Just gotta grin and bear it.

Post # 5
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

So many to choose from

DH’s Aunt swore so loudly at her toddler during the ceremony that half of the guests couldn’t hear anything but her. Then she didn’t bother watching her kids during the reception so we had to keep guard of the candles and cake. THEN to top it all off she wrote some illiterate status which basically said Don’t know why we bothered coming all this way to the wedding. We should’ve stayed home. We would’ve had a better time there.

DH’s Dad picked a fight with DH the next morning because I’d booked DH a fishing charter as a wedding gift and didn’t invite his Dad along. They’ve spoken maybe twice since (via comments on facebook).

Bit I think this one takes the cake: My cousin who was also a BM got blind drunk at the reception and wouldn’t go home afterwards. She crashed my MOH’s hotel room and called her a C U Next Tuesday and abused my close group of friends. Then she crashed another guest’s hotel room and assualted (kicked, bit, punched, strangled, scratched) my brother and a family friend. THEN (yes she’s still going!) she stripped off on the beach and threatened to drown herself so my Mum who was so excited to have my son for his first sleep over had to babysit her all night until she finally gave up and called her father to come and get her. She’s tried to make contact since, but I’ve made it clear that until she’s off the drink she won’t be a part of my family’s life.

But other than that it was a beautiful day/night lol

Post # 6
1116 posts
Bumble bee

Someone sent me a Facebook message saying they can’t come to ‘that thing in March ‘

Post # 7
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

Some of the rudeness I encountered was so shocking to me. I’ve been asked if my ring was fake. I’ve been asked if black people have real weddings at all. I’ve been told my dress was ugly. The worst for me was the rsvp situation I had. Just plain rude. I made a post about a while back, so I’ll spare you the details. But yeah…just shocking.

Post # 8
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

amanda3334455:  Are you old enough to get married? An old lady said this to me when she saw my engagement ring. I just responded with only if you think 28 is old enough to get married.

Post # 9
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

“Why would you choose a beach location? You should choose a winery, that’s what my daughter’s doing!” Ummm, I want to have my wedding on the beach!? Der.

“Don’t choose orchids! Those are way too expensive for you!” WTF does that even mean? You have no clue as to what I can afford.

“Don’t get a band! That’s too expensive!” See above.

My favorite: 

Me: So, now that you’re officially engaged, any wedding thoughts? I know my mind flooded the moment he popped the question!

Her: Well, I don’t want a stupid wedding. No one needs that dumb shit. I want a BBQ!

Me: I’d watch WTF you say. I’m having a “big stupid wedding”, and you know this! Rude!

Backstory: this friend DESPERATELY wants a big wedding. But, her FI will not ever pay for it. She has NO CHOICE in the matter. At all. So, to save face in front of her man, she agrees with what he says.

Same friend: Can I try on your ring?

Me: (hands over ring)

Her: (gross face) Eeew! Its too big for me! 

Me: oh, thanks!

Back story: she’s jealous. And that is all. Which I don’t get. She’s got a good man, a great job and life. He bought her a stunning ring, and she still manages to put me down. Then her man actually ASKED me if she was gonna be in my wedding! 

Um, no.

Post # 10
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

“are you still getting married?”


wtf is that supposed to mean?

Post # 11
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think the rudest has been with my mom. For the first couple months of our engagement, any and every idea I told her about she hated, and told me how much and why she hated it. A 2 hour drive is too far. Why would we have an outdoor wedding? God won’t like that! Why would you have that many bridesmaids? No one’s going to want to go on a boat. No one likes bbq food. She’s also refused to say a whole lot about my ring other than looking at it snootily and saying ‘nice’. The center stone in my ring is larger than her center stone, while she has way more TCW than I do. *eyeroll* Shouldn’t even matter!! 

She’s also refused to acknowledge that I don’t want my sisters (14 and 12) as bridesmaids. For one, they wouldn’t be able to do anything that the rest of the BMs will be doing. They can’t contribute towards anything, they can’t plan anything, they wouldn’t be able to go to the bachelorette parties, and honestly the 12 year old does not care for fancy dresses, and the 14 year old is so spoiled and self-centered and immature that I do not trust her not to screw something up (basic things, like throwing a fit about her shoes, which is common for her). It’s just not worth the energy. Plus, I have different roles that only they would have, which to me would be more special than being stuck in a role that there’s 4 other girls and you can’t actually do anything. But that’s apparently the most idiotic and family-shaming thing my mom has ever heard of in her life. 

My mom also decided that only her family should be primarily invited. For one, I don’t like 99% of that side. They have never, ever welcomed me into the family. For two, you can’t cut out 3 other families. That’s rude. You can’t cut out the friends I want to invite to my wedding. That’s rude. And we already went over how the max we ‘re inviting is 100 people, and that’s how many we’re paying for. She wanted to invite about 70 of her family. Oi. 

It’s been an uphill battle with her. About the only thing we’ve agreed on is my dress. My grandma keeps joking that we should just elope and escape all the drama llama, lol. 


On the flip side, my favorite thing to get asked now that there’s a ring on my finger is the inevitable kids questions. As in – I went to bring my car in for an oil change at the dealership, and as I was wandering looking at cars, the salesman tried to sell me on a car by saying how much room there is for carseats. Aaaalrighty, thanks? I’ll keep that in mind in ten years. Lol. 

Post # 12
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My biggest rude comment was “Why would you even want to get married anymore? Just live with him so then you can dump him and save money.” – I had to retrain myself from getting into a heated debate with the people who kept on making that comment.

Another that could be worse for some people was “Are you knocked up?” because they thought young people didn’t get married unless there was a baby on the way. To me that made no sense as we’d been engaged for 3 years before actually getting married and decided our date 2 years into it…

Then there was the one at my wedding where my mother cut photos short by telling me that “it was getting ridiculous” when we had been doing just our couple shots in a park – which made me start to cry because my photographer was expensive and that was wasting my money.

Post # 13
2657 posts
Sugar bee

One time when my in-laws were visiting during wedding planning, I showed them the photographer we had just booked.  I was really excited about it because I loved this photographer’s work.  Afterwards, MIL told my FI that we should cancel the photographer because it was too much money for us to spend (my husband I financed the wedding ourselves).  “When we got married, we only paid $150 to take photos in the photographer’s backyard, and that was all we needed.”  Yeah, their wedding was at a courthouse in the 1970’s.  Exactly the same situation as ours, right?  They’re still convinced that we spent way too much and judge us for it.

Also, when we were buying wedding bands, I knew that I wanted a plain metal band for mine.  I love the simplicity of the look and the ability to wear a plain band on its own.  We walked into the jewelry store and I picked out my band in 2 minutes.  A customer near me commented that I could “do better” with a diamond band.  Apparently, I can only show my undying love for my husband with diamond-encrusted things.  It was news to me.

Post # 14
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m only newly engaged but have a few venue ideas… Was telling some friends about a particular one that I like and it just so happens my parents got married there as well. Another engaged friend goes “oh we were looking there too, it would have been so much cheaper than what we chose but oh well!”


LOL uhhhhhhh thanks.

Post # 15
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

I get rude comments all the time because we are having an immediate family only wedding.

I brought up getting a dress and a friend said “Well if you’re going to do all that stuff anyway I don’t see why you don’t just invite everyone”. Ummm we don’t want to? And feeding 200 people is way different than feeding 20.

I also get “But don’t you want Aunt So-and-so to be there!?” like I don’t love all of my family equally.

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