What's the significance of meeting SO's extended family?

posted 2 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i met DH’s aunt/uncle, cousins pretty soon after we started dating.  he goes to his aunt’s house for dinner once a week and i was invited.  (his parents are deceased, so these are his closest family members).

i was 30 and he was 34 when we started dating. 

i don’t believe i went the year we started dating, but i went the next year and every year since to his family reunion.  any of the cousins in relationships always brought their SOs.

 

after 3 years, i would be concerned i hadn’t met extended family.  is there a reason you think you shouldn’t meet them???

 

and the significance? well you are an important person in his life and he wants his family to meet you. i would assume…..

Post # 3
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I don’t think there’s an answer to this because it varies depending on family circumstances.

My SO hasn’t me anyone other than my parents and brother, because they live in different country.

I’d met some of his uncles, aunts and cousins before we even started dating. I didn’t meet his parents, siblings or nephew until we’d been dating for about a year (8 months of which were long distance), because they live a considerable drive away.

Has there never been a family gathering that you’ve been to?

Post # 4
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Is there a reason its taken 3 years to meet his family? Thats kind of a strange one.

Post # 5
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

I met some of SOs extended family after a few months of dating. He brought me with him to a family reunion simply because I was important to him and he was serious about me – it wasn’t a hint of anything else. 

I do agree that it’s slightly strange it took you this long to meet any of them.

Post # 6
Member
6569 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’ve met my husband’s extended family on a few occasions. Honestly, it didn’t hold any great significance. Maybe if he was really close to them it might.

Post # 8
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I would be surprised to have not met extended family in 3 years of dating unless they lived far from you or your SO was estranged from them for some reason.

I met some of my fiancé’s extended family at a holiday luncheon about 3 months after beginning to date. I met even further extended family (that lived out of state for example) at a family wedding about 6 months after starting to date. 

I would think that within a year of dating it would be obvious if you were a long term couple. From there I think it would be unusual to not be included in regular family functions (assuming his family gets together for things like holidays, birthdays, etc). 

Post # 9
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

It took about a year for my bf to introduce me to his immediate family, because they live on the other coast. He didn’t want to introduce me to extended family before I met his parents and sibs, so once that was done, I was immediately invited to all family functions afterwards (holidays, birthdays, baby showers, etc.). It was a big deal for us, but wouldn’t be for everyone.

Post # 10
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

DH met my extended family within a few months of dating. I met his grandmothers before we got engaged but I didn’t meet some of his aunts until we were engaged after 4.5 years of dating. So I wouldn’t read too much into it.

I don’t think it’s weird that you haven’t met them in three years, they live a distance and some families just don’t get together too often.

Post # 11
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I met FH’s extended family after 6 months at the first holiday get together. It was simply a “my mom is hosting a barbecue come with me”. I don’t think it meant anything beyond that although I was nervous to meet his mother and aunts/uncles/cousins/siblings all in one shot.

Post # 12
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

carmensandiego38 :  The experience of meeting SO’s family of course depends on the family – how close they are to him, how often they can see each other, etc. I’ve been with by bf for nearly 5 years and by now I’ve met everyone many times. He has a huge family on his mom’s side and that definitely overwhelmed me! Within about a year or two I had met most of them. It took me a while to feel like they were “family” like I do now, at least a few of them.

It’s an exciting step! 🙂

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