What's the soonest…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What's the soonest you would marry someone?
    Less than 6 months : (8 votes)
    5 %
    6 months to 1 year : (26 votes)
    15 %
    1 year to 1.5 years : (41 votes)
    24 %
    1.5 years to 2 years : (34 votes)
    20 %
    2 years to 3 years : (48 votes)
    28 %
    Longer than 3 years : (16 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I put 2-3 years. 

    While I feel like you can obviously love someone from the get go, I dont feel like you really get to know someone in all of their glory until they get comfortable, which I think takes a little while. I’ve also just known too many people who got married in a year or less who are now getting divorced (not one who made it past 5 years)

    Post # 3
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I think it really depends on the person and the relationship. With my ex husband we had been together 9 years when we got married and split up after 18 months of marriage. I really felt the ‘waiting’ thing before we got married and in retrospect, I think I pressured him into it, which I obviously regretted quite soon after. Looking back, I think that if he didn’t want to propose to me after nearly a decade together, then getting married wasn’t the right thing for us (obviously, given the outcome). I wish I had focussed more on whether I was wanting to marry the ‘right’ man, rather than just focussing on why my boyfriend hadn’t asked me yet. Almost everyone of my age that I know who is divorced has had the same pattern – together for years and years, get married and then split before their two year wedding anniversary. I personally have four friends that this has happened to as well as me. I think after a certain amount of time together women push for a proposal and focus on that, rather than on the state of the actual relationship.

    This time my FI and I got engaged on our two year dating anniversary and will be getting married after a nine month engagement. We would have got engaged sooner to be honest but my divorce wasn’t final and FI knew I wanted to put some distance between the two things. In reality, I would have married him within a year if I hadn’t been married before. When you know, you know.

    I do think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons though, or in relationships that are already in trouble, I know I did. But very few people acknowledge or admit this until it’s too late.

    Post # 4
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I think it depends on relationship.  

    Parents only dated for 3 months and they’ve been together for 40+ years.

    My brother dated my SIL for less than 6 months and they’ve been together for 10+ years….his first wife he dated for years, but marriage only lasted a couple of years.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I have plenty of friends who have gone from meeting, getting engaged, and getting hitched within 1-12 months. It’s crazy to me. One couple got engaged 22 days after meeting. I call that fucking crazy, but I can understand how someone can jump into marriage after only a few months. That’s just not something I could ever do. I’d need to wait at least 1-3 years. I knew my DH since early 2010, and we married early 2014.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6279 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we got married 2 years and 10 months after meeting.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    For me, around 1.5-2 years. I would not have married my now FI any sooner than that, even though I loved him well before that point. I would have needed to confrim that it was a lasting relationship and not a fleeting romance.

    We will actually marry after nearly 4 years together, and got engaged a little past the 2 year mark.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    We will be married 2.5 years after meeting, almost to the day. 15 months dating, 15 months engaged. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’ve always wanted to wait 5+ if in my 20s, and 3+ in my 30s. 

    Irl itll be 7 and I’m in my 20s. I look at all the successful marriages I’ve seen in my personal life, and every last one followed that model. I don’t think you can really know someone well enough to marry them in anything less than 2-3 years. Sure, it could work out, but it’s a gamble that I’d never be willing to take.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    At least a year. FI and I were together for about two and a half years when he proposed, and it will be about 3 and a half years when we marry. I was only 23 when we started dating, so I’m glad to have taken it a bit slow.

    Post # 11
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Its a good point that age makes a difference too. I’m 34 and absolutely wouldn’t want to wait 5 years to get married because I want to at least try to have a family with Fi when we get married and leaving it any longer than my mid 30s isn’t something I want to do. With my first husband I was nowhere near being ready to get engaged after we had been together for 2-3 years because I was only 20 when we met and not interested in marriage until later.

    If I had met FI when I was 38, you can bet we would have got married within about a year because the clock would be seriously ticking for babies and we both want to be married before we try.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2092 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

     

    peonytuliplove:  I married my husband 24 months after first laying eyes on him. It was perfect. And I would have married him sooner than that, too.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    2920 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’d say 2 years from the time I met him to the time I married him would be the absolute MINIMUM! I think you don’t really know someone’s true crazy until about year 2. Before that, it’s just the honeymoon phase.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4031 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    For me our ages were a really big factor. We met when I was 20 and he was 21. We fell in love quickly and moved in together 14 months into dating, but we wanted to wait several more years before marrying just because that’s what felt right to us. We married at 25 this past December (my DH just turned 26 in May) so we were together 4 1/2 years before marrying which was perfect. If we had met later in life (maybe around 23 or 24) then I would have been more comfortable marrying 2-3 years in. Love the way it worked for us! We liked being together so long (though not as long as many) before marrying. Whatever works for people!

    Post # 15
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We got engaged after 1 year and married after 1.5 years together. Sometimes I wish we had married earlier, sometimes I wish we had waited longer. But I think the minimum would have been 1 year. Mostly because I feel like that’s the minimum time that’s acceptable to other people, and our families would have been very much against marrying any earlier. We were 25 and 26 when we married.

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