What's the source of tension in your relationship?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

FI is sooooo forgetful and it drives me insane sometimes. He’s usually good about the important stuff but I feel like I am constantly reminding him about stuff.

If you asked him this question he would probably say my temper.

Post # 4
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

@DuckEBee:  Mostly how I don’t have enough time for him. I’m a full time student and I work 16-18 hours on the weekends so I’m pretty exhausted 24/7. I don’t try to ignore him or not spend time with him but I’m so freakin’ busy.

Post # 5
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Chores. He is just hopeless and when I’m having a moment I take it as disrespect, when it’s really just his brain malfunctioning.

Post # 7
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

@DuckEBee:  Exactly!!!! And then I feel like crap because I feel like I’m abandoning him and his needs and I worry why I’m not as interested in sex anymore. 

Post # 8
Member
2338 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Money or lack there of. And the way we spend our money. Even more so since we combined finances 

We also have issues over the laundry as I may be a bit more lackadaisical about doing it, and he has a very strict schedule about doing his laundry and gets mad when I don’t do mine as often

Post # 10
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Well I can think of two that sort of create a little tension:

The first is that I depend on him a lot financially since I am not working right now, I have had to ask to borrow money several times. It doesn’t bother him, but it gets to me a lot. I hate it.

The second is our sex life, or lack thereof. We often will go 2 or 3 months without, and while it used to bother me a lot, since I have been on my mood stabilizing meds my crazy libido has gone down quite a bit, so I don’t get as upset with him when he doesn’t want to have sex.

But neither of these are straining our relationship at all, they just cause moments of tension sometimes.

Post # 11
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Oh yeah, sex is one too. He wants it twice a day, I’m happy with twice a week.

Post # 12
Member
25 posts
Newbee

@DuckEBee:  any and everything that accompanies long distance (even though its not that long by other standards) and his lack of listening. I feel like i repeat myself 30 times a day lol, (exaggerating obviously but still)

Post # 13
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@musician32992:  Ugh, me too. Work + School + wedding planning = no time for anything/anyone else :/

Post # 14
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@DuckEBee:  Our major souce of tension is the kids.  We disagree on discipline.  It’s hard for him because he only gets his kids a certain amount of time.  Every other weekend and a couple of hours on Wednesday.  And in the summer every other weekend.

He doesn’t think that we should have the boys do chores while they are here.  He doesn’t think that he should have to discipline them, because they are scared enough if he raises his voice.  BUT, he thinks that we should be a lot harder on my niece who we have guardianship of, and have full time.

My major thing is that he thinks they should be treated the exact same.  The ages are 9, 12, and 15.  They shouldn’t be treated the same because of the age difference.

I understand that he doesn’t want to be the bad guy because he doesn’t see them often, but they are going to walk all over him when they get older and he just doesn’t see it.

Ours is a major tension, but one we are working on every day.   

Post # 15
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Tension occurs at times when he becomes overly sensitive about something and it usually ends up being a misunderstanding, so that’. Clear comunication, I guess.  But it’s always about the most miniscule issue or topic.

And it passes quickly.

Post # 16
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

Video games. Paying attention during conversation. 

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