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hey bees..just had a huge blow out fight with FI and he said somthing hurtful to me... im not guna lie and say i never said somthing bad to him or called him somthing hurtful but hes just not the type to ever say somthing bad like that in a fight and it just caught me off gaurd... the issue is resolved but aggg that hurt mann..
i just want to know the worst thing your SO's have said to you in a fight or w.e ... ? :'(
xoxoxo
ch.pc
"whatever"
I admit this wasn't my FI but my ex, but whenever he said this I knew he was really saying "f*** you!"
"You treat me more like a servant than your boyfriend sometimes." That one stung but I'll admit, I had an attitude adjustment REAL fast.
@MrsNerdy:lol! im sorry, i shouldn't have laughed but i so know what you mean.
We all say some pretty messed up ish in the heat of the moment. My FI tried to get an attitude with me...but bwah ha ha i am so much more a fighter than he! he is so mild its hilariious.
I'm sorry your feelings got hurt in an argument, but do try to not dwell on it. Thinking about hurtful things over and over just makes me feel even more miserable.
Fortunately, SO and I don't fight much and when we do fight, we fight nice. We don't ever yell or call names. Probably the worst thing either of us has said is "you always ___" when that, of course, isn't true.
We don't fight too often, and even if it is getting really heated we rarely say mean things. One time I full intended to yell at him and call him a jack***, but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I blurted out JackBass instead, haha. That's our go-to name-calling now. When he wants to sting me he brings up how much I earn compared to him and how he pays for a lot of our things. But thankfully that doesn't come up in a malicious way very often.
I won't quote the hurtful things my FI has said to me. We have said some things that really hurt in the heat of the moment....but on very rare occasion. We have never name called or anything like that. Just know that times like this will come, however so few and far between nothing can burn like cruel and unkind words from your beloved. You have to take some time, talk it out and forgive one another if you really love one another. Also, vow never to say such things to eachother again. And never go running to your parents and your girlfiends and tell them what he said everytime your FI and you get in a fight (unless he's abusive but I dont' think this is the case here). You need to trust that you can work things out between you like adults and not add to it by having others judge him.
Good luck!
I always make a point never to say things in arguments that I don't mean. I've had really mean things said to me before by exes, and it always hurts my feelings. I feel like if you say something like that in the heat of an argument, some part of you really means it.
That being said, my FI now hasn't really ever said anything horrible to me, mostly because I don't push his buttons. He does have more of a temper than I do, though, and has a bad habit of walking out of the room in the middle of a fight, which makes me sooo mad. But that's really it. That's just one of the many reasons why he's such a keeper.
Honestly, FI is not a big fighter. This is good, because I'm a bit of a firecracker. I don't think he could ever say something really mean and hurtful, which is great because I would take it way too seriously. The absolute worst thing he can do for me, however, is ignore me during a fight. It drives me nuts, when I just want to talk about something and he blows it off. It usually dissolves the fight, but I can't help but feel that the issue isn't really resolved. I'm kinda a b*tch though, haha, so I might say some mean things during an argument, but I never actually mean them, it just slips out. So just try not to take things that are said during a fight too personally, because words just fly out!
@MsATC: Haha, I literally busted out laughing reading that. How funny!
I tried to think of something mean he has said, but I really can't. I however say mean and terrible things and can think of plenty of those :/
He said once "You've been a bitch all week" and that hurt like he said he killed my mom or something equally awful because he NEVER says hateful nasty things so it was a yucky argument. However, that has only happened once in a year and a half. We are lucky to hardly ever fight.
My FI has had anger issues in the past... so he's said pretty hurtful things that I knew he didn't mean. I feel bad quoting, but... the one that hurt me the most is he would just repeat "go f*** yourself." Not a good feeling. It took... a while, but he's learned to handle his anger and hasn't said anything really mean to me in a year or so. I'm really proud of him. I too have said some not nice things, and I'm not proud of that. We're both very emotional people and have had to learn how to appropriately argue. We've never said "I don't love you" or "I hate you" or anything like that. Really nothing personal, just general insults that you should never say to the person you love-- which is the conclusion he came to.
Fights do happen. Lines may get crossed. But they can turn around... Good luck.
he and i would both agree that my razor sharp tongue is one of my worst flaws. I am a generally passive person simply because i dont like drama and think most things are stupid to get all up in arms over. HOWEVER, once I am pushed to the point of blind anger its best to just back away slowly. I have said some doozies. I wont even repeat some of the things that have flown out of my mouth. He knows me well enough to call me out and be like "ya right, you dont mean that, now calm yourself before your head explodes". then i get more mad and i sit there and yell likea two year old about how i did mean it! i did i did i did!!!! it usually gets to the point where its just funny after a few minutes that I keep insisting while stomping my feet that i did mean it and then in a low sheepish voice ill say "ok maybe i didnt". he knows how to handle me after knowing me for as long as he has (we have quite an extensive past that goes beyond our current relationship).
DH called me a bitch once in a moment of anger. That hurt. 3 years later he's never said it again.
@KatyElle: mine did that once over 2 years ago and I told him that if he ever called me that again I'd leave and never look back. I was beyond pissed off! He hasn't even come close to saying it again.
The worst thing ever was when we had a big, bad fight (things just were boiling up for a while due to living situation/wedding stresses) and he told me it was 'HIGH TIME you move out!!'. I was soooo hurt, since it was such a surprise that he would even think this, but after a few hours we calmed down and when we went to talk about the 'high time' comment, we both busted up laughing. It seemed so stupid, but it hurt me so much. Now when we get miffed at each other we say 'it's high time!' and that lightens the mood.
I honestly cant think of anything. He is so laid back and it takes a LOT to even get him angry. I am the complete opposite and can easily say mean things in an instant, that I also instantly regret :/
3 years ago FI told me to fuck off, we had only been together for a few months and I had never seen him angry so I was really shocked. I told him that I never wanted to spoken to like that again or I was leaving. He's actually a very calm person so it's never happened since. We laughed about it after because it was our first fight!
An ex-bf told me that I was an embarrassment to be around because I didn't ask his friends questions about themselves. Mind you, we were living in different countries and I had come to visit him and my best friend (who I hadn't seen in 6 months) also came at the same time, I had no interest in getting to know his friends.
My ex called me a cunt, and that he hoped i would die.
needless to say it wasnt very long after that he became my ex. my present partner is placid, and never name calls, he is not sweetness personified, but he is an anglel compared to my ex.
My FI is super laid back... so he never really fights back lol. The worse thing he has ever done was just leave....not tell me where he was going, not answer his phone, he came back an hour later. I was so scared that we was never coming back....i apologized (i started the fight over something stupid) i def learned my lesson. I try to never bring work/stress home with me.
I had an ex tell me once that he loved me, but i disgusted him....awesome. 3 years later he is still living at home with his mom....in her gross basement...whose gross now sir?? HA!!
I cant really think of anytime y DH has ever said anything really,really mean. But he is so laid back hes practically horizontal! Ive said some really viscious things though,because my temper talks for me,before I think about what Im saying. The only thing I can think of is when we were having a really stupid fight, I called him a name,he called me one,and then it sort of turned into a competition of the names we could call each other,and we just ended up laughing at each other.
ETA:One thing I have remembered is when we had a silly fight over DIY. I threw some scissors on the floor in his general direction (I knew they werent going to land anywhere near him though) and he turned around and said he was going to throw them at myf***ing head,or something like that. I ended up walking out,and after we had both calmed down,we apologised to each other and talked about why we were getting frustrated and said things we didnt mean. I think that is the single time I have seen him actually get angry.
It's tough after a fight because your mind races through everything.
my Current SO is passive and fights are rare but when we do they are pretty healthy arguements.
We have had a few good ones though and I think the worst he said to me was "I haven't been happy for awhile" - that stung a little... k, maybe a lot!! : )
& I have said some crappy stuff too.
I think when we are angry we say things not necessarily that are true but things that we can hurt each other with & we exagerate what we are thinking because we are emotional.
when we talked after we were just being hurtful, not truthful. He was unhappy that week because we were fighting!!! lol It doesn't make it right but we are all human and I hope keeping it in that context helps!
We say mean things :/ We are trying to get better at it, and we both know that we don't mean it, but we are the same personality, and think we are right, and are super stubborn, not a good combo when we fight! Luckily are big fights are few and far between, but they do suck. I have definitely been really hurt in a fight, but I can't even tell you what was said because I knew they weren't true (and he tells me that and apalogizes for them), but I know they still hurt at the time!
I think probably the "I don't want to deal with you right now" or "I'm not listening to you anymore" type comments probably hurt me the most because we usually just deal with whatever it is right then and there, so that's a little frustrating.
I admit, I'm really quick to call him names and that is something that for whatever reason has started happening within the last like 6 months or so. I'm trying to learn how to replace a**hole with something more productive like stubborn, because that gets the point across better.
DH never says mean things! (I'm definitely the meany in our relationship...although half the time I'm not intending anything mean, it just comes out that way!)
I did, however, hear a story (from a friend of a friend...) who apparently, while in a fight with her husband, he told her that she had small boobs.
ouch. The vengeful side of me would definitely throw that back at him every time he so much as wanted to TOUCH me for the next year!
Honestly I don't think he ever has said anything nasty to me. We don't fight much and when we do it's more of an arguement it doesn't get heated and there isn't any name calling.
"f**k off" I don't think one shouldn't swear during an argument- fo us anyways it's an expression of sheer anger and needs to be let out. I don't think he should combine swearing with name calling though!
I caught him lying and called him on it. ALthough it was an invasion of his privacy and he called me on it. When I asked him and he lied, I said you're lying and he said what? how do you know I said I looked at... He said f**k off... and walked away.
he's said some horrid things..
i will not repeat, but whe he calms down, he lets me know that he didnt mean any of it and he is so sorry.
It's something that needs to be corrected, of course.
My FI doesn't fight, he is too laid back to care. Sometimes this drives me crazy when I am steaming mad at something and he is just like "k thats fine, I understand". But yeah he has never said anything mean to me, I have said some things myself though that weren't very nice, like calling him a "doormat" because he let his family walk all over him.
@soyjoy222: Lol - it's high time! That made me laugh. :)
FI and I don't really fight anymore but during the first year, oh my, it was like we were different people. We didn't say anything awful, but we used to swear a lot.
I am the one who says things that need to go right back into my mouth. DH is much more likely to shut down and say nothing than say something in anger.
We hardly ever argue, but when we do he just says he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore and stays quiet. He would rather not say anything than say something that would hurt me. I do anything I can to avoid an argument and never say hurtful things to him. The only time he's uncensored with what he says is when he's drunk, which isn't very often. Once he got mad after being out drinking all night and he actually said that he didn't wanna marry me. When he woke up in the morning and saw my engagement ring on the nightstand, he felt awful. He told me he didn't mean it, that I was the only person in the world he would ever want to marry and it took him forever to find me. He spent the whole day apologizing and trying to make up for it. I knew when he said it that he didn't mean it, but it was the worst feeling in the world when I heard him say it.
FI told me I was being selfish once..and it hurt the most because in that situation I really was being selfish =( Other than that he called me a b*tch one time..and after my reaction he learned his lesson NEVER to call me that again =)
(I'm no angel, I've called him an a-hole plenty of times)
We don't really say hurtful things to each other. We've never had an explosive fight like that. I always say, "Whatever", or "F*ck you!" when I'm mad, but he never says stuff like that to me. He just doesn't get mad really easily. We watched a movie about Ted Bundy and this girl told him, "You're like a little kid that never grew up!" So, now, when FI is acting childish and annoying, I just say, "You're the little kid that never grew up!" and we both start laughing. Sometimes if I'm being really naggy, or whatever, he'll say, "Quit your bitchin'!" But, I don't take it to heart because I know I'm whining too much.
Honestly, we never ever fight. I think we've had maybe three "fights" in 9 years we've been together, and even then they weren't bad. I've called him an a-hole a few times, but that's about it, and it was only a 2-3 times. We just get along really well...and I'm so thankful for that. :)
@Nicoley1985: you just described me and my fiance' perfectly... lol... it has taken me SO. EFFING. LONG. to get to where i could accept him walking away from me when i was angry... i still hate it, but at least now i don't follow him still yelling now... i let him leave, and he usually comes back and is somewhat willing to talk about the issue then... we are such different fighters! my family has always been the type to scream bloody murder at each other, but when it's over, it's like nothing ever happened... his family does not yell at all, and he thinks it's completely and utterly unacceptable to argue with each other... i used to get upset because if i felt if you didn't argue it out, you wouldn't work through a problem! it's been an adjustment for both of us. haha...
To the OP, we've been together for 8 years, so there's been a lot of arguments... probably the worst thing was when he questioned marrying me, but it wasn't because of a fight, it was because of my crazy family and the super hard times we were going through. (we originally were engaged after 2.5 years of dating, but we had to postpone/call off the whole thing multiple times in the following years due to the aforementioned crazy family and hard times... he just got sick of waiting, and felt like i wasn't standing up to my crazy family enough...)
I can't really remember anything he has said that was really hurtful off of the top of my head. He has never called me a name of any kind though. We have been together since I was 15 & he was 17 so we got in some heated fights & didn't argue fairly when we was younger. But that was more my part. 
I am the one with the temper. He is very laid back & calm. It tends to hurt my feelings if he raises his voice or yells because he hardly does.
We fought 2 or 3 times in 4+ years and never said anything hurtful. But DH is not a fair fighter in the sense that as soon as he feels I am not happy with him about something, he feels attacked and starts attacking me. So he is not listening to what I'm saying, pretty much just trying to defend himself, and the tone is very harsh.. Then he leaves the room (I'm happy he's not one of those to leave the house) and won't talk for hours before he calms down - sometimes until the next day.
So, no angry words, but his whole fighting attitude hurts a lot. I'm happy we get along and don't fight. Plus, I know it's due to his lack of fighting skills and not because of his lack of respect for my feelings, because usually when he comes out of his silence mode, I can see he thought alot about it and he takes the steps necessary for the issue to be resolved (so somehow what I said did register even if at the moment his anger prevented him from listening)
My FI and I have gotten into plenty of fights where we BOTH say hateful things that we don't mean. However, I'm usually the one who starts the hateful word spewing. My FI will usually just roll over and not talk to me and try to let the steam blow off. But that just makes me SO mad because I want to end the argument THEN. I want it to be over NOW. I want to talk about it, but he won't. So then I start saying mean things to him because he ignores me and then he starts retorting. I am so ashamed of some of the things I say, and I know it's not healthy. We have made a point to work on it, though. We are going to start going to church again, and we are going to do couple's counseling. My FI really is an amazing man, but we have our issues to work on.
He called me minipulative. I was like ouch but I have called him stupid and thats like his dont push button. We are both guilty there
My friend and I were talking the other day and she said her and her DH were in a fight and he said to her "your beautiful on the outside, but you are really ugly on the inside" He was drunk but she was still upset!
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