Whats up with all the secret/suprise weddings?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
7492 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@anemone681:  I haven’t seen the posts you’re talking about, but all of those are valid reasons to get married quickly. If an engagement party is already planned, then it’s a fun way to be able to have a fast wedding with all of your loved ones present.

Post # 4
3591 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@anemone681:  They sound fun, more casual than the average big white wedding and best of all, I believe there are drinks allowed (even encouraged!) during the ceremony.

I love the new trend.

If one just wanted to have a party and have some freinds and family there without all of the hoopla that people have come to expect from a traditonal wedding I think it’s a great idea.

Post # 7
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

That actually sounds awful. I think I’d be upset. I mean what if something comes up and you don’t go thinking it’s just a party and it turns out you miss someone’s wedding? I’d much rather be prepared. Also, I could see people walking into a party during the entire event, as people usually do at parties, sometimes they come when they can and don’t realize it’s an event they have to be prompt to.

Post # 8
291 posts
Helper bee

FI and I want to do this actually planned as an engagement surprise wedding we don’t have to deal with all the drama and expectations, having to have a traditional wedding and We want to make it really memorable and different. Each to their own tho, big part of me is over trying to organise it in secret And I can see why people don’t bother with it!! 

Post # 9
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d be pisse because I wouldn’t take work off for an engagement party but would for a wedding. I always work weekends. =/

Post # 10
3591 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@BriansBride:  Maybe to the bride and groom it IS pretty much “just a party” (where they happen to get married) and if a guest misses it, no big deal.

Post # 11
7569 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Shonzilla:  I was thinking the same thing. 

You get to have the big celebration without all the pressure from family and friends. 

Post # 13
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

I have always thought these would have more logistical issues than a regular wedding.  If I was invited to an e-party and was running 30 minutes late – hey, no big deal!  If I walked in in the middle of the vows/ceremony it would disturb everyone and I would probably not be very quiet making an entrance because I would think I was walking into a party!  I would feel terrible.

I too would weight other things equally if not more important than an e-party.  If one of my g’kids was playing in some kind of playoffs, I’d be there and send regrets to the e-party.  If I knew it was a wedding, I would see what I could do to attend both.

I do hope it works for those who want to do it, I would just be worried that someone who really wanted to see me get married would miss it because they thougth it was just an e-party.

Post # 14
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

My brother and sister in law actually did this two years ago…at the venue I will be using, Kentucky Center of the Arts. She was 8 months pregnant and it was a so called co-ed baby shower. When they sent out the invitations it said “adult affair only and semi formal attire required.” Who wears fancy attire to a baby shower. I figured it out and knew there was going to be some type of ceremony included. My parents knew but wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. It actually worked out perfectly. They got tons of baby gifts, there were like 175 guests. But they didn’t need typical wedding gifts because they already owned a home and were established. Nobody at the event was pissed, as soon as my brother walked through the doors in his tux singing everyone got extremely excited. Afterwards we got catered food, there was a DJ, bar, etc. I did hear that a couple people (friends) were upset who missed the event. But important family members were there. You can’t please everyone and I think they had plenty of people there anyways.

Post # 15
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I don’t think they’re cute at all. A couple had a surprise wedding at my SO’s business meeting… I can’t stand the thought of doing that. I just don’t like the whole “surprise” element of it, and I’m not sure how this trend even began.

Post # 16
3030 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Althought I eloped (just us 2) I would totally do this. I think the surprise part would be really fun and exciting for others and more fun than stiff or formal.  If I did it I would probably tell close people who RSVP’d no or I knew worked weekends that they “really need to be there,” and try to sway them to come if possible.  This idea would work best if all your guests were local too.  Britney Spears did this with K. Fed BTW…not sure if that’s where it started but that was the first time I heard of it.

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