(Closed) What’s with all the gift-giving?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Ha! I’ve often thought the same thing. We’re not planning gifts for parents or for each other (yep, a lot of people give each other a gift on their wedding day too – something I only recently found out). After the wedding is over, we’ll make some albums for our parents and probably frame a photo for each set – that’s something that’s a gift, but we’d do it anyway (without being told to get them a gift). For each other… we’re getting married! What else could we want! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Don’t stress over the "gift" thing.  I truly think that the idea of gift giving has evolved so much over the years it’s becoming difficult to keep up with!

I think you should just give those gifts that you feel compelled/wish to give. 

We gave our wedding party gifts (but it was simple for us because we only had 3 guys/3 girls/no children).   DH got each of the guys Engraved/personalized Red Rider Bee Bee Guns.  I got the girls each a Freshwater pearl pendant with small diamond detail set on a  white gold chain.  We also gave each of our parents a small gift.   Later, after the wedding, we also gave our parents photo albums.  

Post # 5
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was talking to my mom about the presents my FI and I need to buy, she piped up with "Don’t buy your parents presents.  That is something that was totally made up by the wedding industry and I think its horseshit."  I’ve got some time left to think about what if anything we get our parents, but I’m planning on a nice card thanking them for everything.  That is what they’ll really love, and of course, wedding albums down the road.

Post # 6
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was surprised too! There’s a lot of wedding stuff I had never heard of before (like ‘proposing’ to your bridal party, etc.). We plan to gift our wedding party with items directly related to our wedding (professional make-up application, tailored short & tie, etc.) but beyond that don’t have plans to be doing much gift giving…

Our parents will receive an album after the fact, but nothing other than that – it seems a bit silly to us to take the money they’re giving us to help pay for the wedding and turn around and buy them a gift… I get the sentiment, but still. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yeah…i was surprised and confused by all of the gift giving too…

We decided to get both sets of parents photo albums after the fact.  I got the BMs professional make up application and their jewelry (pearl and swarvovski cuffs and necklaces…etsy seller…incredible).  We got the GMs cologne and added a little note…"my favorite scent for my best man".  I think we’ll make a donation to the pastor’s church and that’s it.

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

ErinMarquite – your mom sounds awesome

Our wedding is in late October, so I think we’re going to forego the parents gifts (we’re paying for our own wedding anyway, and I think parent gift giving is only appropriate when they’re paying for the wedding) and for xmas make nice albums and get some favorites framed for them.  

Post # 9
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We didn’t give gifts to the parents, but we did to our bridal party, flowergirl, and ring bearer.  I have to admit, though, I wondered the same thing about the gifts.  I kind of didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t want to look cheap because I didn’t know what others did in our families. 

Post # 10
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

It’s definitely not mandatory but I think most brides give gifts because 1) it’s a form of appreciation for being in the wedding 2)their budget allows them to.

A lot of gifts are also cultural and/or tradition. 

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My parents think it’s so stupid that we have to give so many gifts to family outside the money we’re already shelling out for the wedding! I’m going to do DIY photo albums since i get the high-res photos from our photography after it’s all said and done. THey’ll love them and they won’t cost an arm and a leg. My parents will love that more than anything else my FI and I would give them anyways. THey’re very big on us saving money for ourselves and our kids, not buying them things they don’t need or thigns they can buy themselves!

I’d feel more inclined to buy them a dinner gift certificate in addition, though, if they were paying for the wedding. I think them knowing we had a GREAT time on our honeymoon (their gift to us) would be the greatest satisfaction to them =]

Post # 13
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think it all comes down to load-sharing here. I say that because I value things like labour and quality time over money, so it just makes the most sense as a gift giving incentive for me personally.  My Mum and my FMIL, for example, are helping out a ton with setting up the morning of the wedding, and indeed that whole final week.  Both of them have done lots of little running around tasks for me, and ultimately, that compels me to get them a gift of appreciation more so than the couple thousand dollars we got from each of them (though of course, that was much appreciated too). 

West Coast Groom and I are giving our parents  a heartfelt thank you toast at the wedding, and after the fact they’ll each get a photobook or framed photo and a gift from our European holiday/honeymoon.  We got simple but individual and personal gifts for our wedding party and we’re not planning on giving any gifts at the rehearsal dinner or any other group event.  When the gesture is entirely private then I think no one in my circle will be inclided to make an issue of who got a gift and who didn’t. 

Get gifts for people where you really want to, and where you think they’ll really appreciate it.  The worst is getting people gifts out of obligation, or getting people gifts who probably wouldn’t care/appreciate it anyway. 

 

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