Post # 1
I always thought that being single at weddings/family functions was bad. People always wanna ask, “You got a boyfriend, yet?” I hated that! But, being engaged at a wedding is wayy worse!
First, everyone wants to give you suggestions based on what the people at that particular wedding have done. “You need to ask them where they got these lillies from so you can use them at your wedding!” Yeah, because in the eight months I’ve been planning with NO help, I haven’t once thought about what flowers I want to use. Riight.
Then, they feel the need to make a list of complaints about the current wedding and instruct you NOT to do these things at yours. “You better not have country music at your wedding!”, “You better not serve strawberry cake at your wedding!”, “You better not have a traditional Catholic wedding!” It is nuts! The whole time at both of the weddings I attended last week, I heard what I need not do at my wedding.
On top of all of the demands and suggestions, people want to know stuff about your wedding at the most inopportune times. Like, when the DJ has kicked on the loudest dance music of the night. That is when people want me to tell them (scream) my wedding location and explain its’ proximity to more well-known cities. Or, in the bride and groom’s receiving line people want to ask if you’ve gotten your dress. Or, when you’ve just stuffed your mouth full of Spanakopita someone is in your face asking about your complicated color scheme.
Lol, I’m glad more people are interested now. But, I kinda felt like it was rude to the bride and groom that people were discussing my wedding so much. I am all about letting someone have their moment in the sun because I would expect them to have the same respect. I feel like that if anyone wants to know about my wedding they should call or FB me, and we can discuss it there.
Post # 3
@Pinksapphire: I was engaged about a month before my sister was married. Both Fiance and myself were at the wedding. People made a few comments to me; BUT the one thing I did like is Fiance finally started paying attention to weddings (what he liked/didn’t like; what he found cool/interesting). So going to weddings together was a way to talk about what we both enjoyed, etc. afterward.
People will always stick their noses into whatever they can. You have just got to shrug it off and let them flap their gums. It’s your wedding, do what you want (unless you want everyone in bikinis during a snow storm…that might be a bit much).
Post # 4
I feel you. No one has made rude suggestions at all…people have even been forthcoming as to say that they might not come because it’s not going to be the most convinient wedding to get to….which I don’t take offense to at all. I guess I’m just tired of talking about it, answering the same questions over and over again about the location, the dress, everything. As excited as I am about my wedding…I can’t wait for this engagement to be over so I can talk about normal stuff again.
Post # 5
Lol, really? I was single at a wedding where the bride literally winged the bouquet into my face.
The guy who caught the garter was an ex.
Fortunately ex & I became friends after I went off to college and we were cool then. So it was just wierd, versus wierd + uncomfortable.
Fortunately, I will have maybe 1 or 2 weddings as an Engaged, but they should be very close to mine, so I can just say “Nope, planned already!”
Post # 6
Oh I just got back from a wedding and DH’s Negative Nancy friend used the event as a platform from which to spout his critiques about how HIS wedding was SO MUCH BETTER (it wasn’t. It had good and bad points, like every other wedding in the universe). Seriously, he managed to make the entire weekend about his own wedding…1.5 years ago.
Not quite the same situation as yours, but I hear you. People just like to complain!
Post # 7
Last wedding I went to I felt bad because there was a lot more focus on my upcoming wedding than the wedding we were at!! And the last thing I wanted to talk about was my wedding. I just wanted to enjoy being there for the bride’s day.
Post # 8
@fresitachulita: I feel ya. I am so tired of repeating the same things. What pisses me off is people who I’ve ALREADY told about my plans, asking me the same questions again! I think about my wedding all. the time. I have wedding plans pouring out of my ears. Sometimes, I just want to forget about it.
@atalante: Lol, well maybe being single was worse for you! When I was single it was just that same annoying question, then people would drop it. Now that I’m planning my wedding the questions are just neverending and each person wants to ask them.
@MsJeep23: I would have hated to have been around him!
Post # 9
Can I also add the point about all these people wanting to be invited to your wedding and dropping not-so-subtle hints about it? Recently, we went to a family member’s wedding and we finally told his father to stop introducing me to everyone because we are definitely not planning on inviting the entire world!
Post # 10
This is how I felt at FI’s cousin’s wedding in June. Fiance is closer to his extended family than his cousin is, and you could tell. It was like no one was even paying attention to the wedding we were at. I felt embarassed for the couple :S Lol even the cousin’s mom kept talking about our wedding. It was weird.
Post # 11
My Fiance and I went to my cousin’s wedding 2 weeks ago and all my mother could talk about was “we should do that” , “these are good, we should see if they could make these” , “This is great, you should research that”…… SHE WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY!
Lucky for me my Dad was there to settle her down.
Post # 12
I suggest, “Oh, we’ve already finalized those details.” or “I don’t want to say what we’re doing- we’re trying to surprise our friends and family.” Those are for if you’d like to be nice.
If you want to show them how tacky they’re being, a well placed, “I don’t want to talk about my wedding and detract from ________’s special day.”
If you want to be downright hilarious, reply to them with absurd things, “Why don’t you want me to have a traditional Catholic wedding? We’re actually having a 5 hour all-Latin mass.” “No country music? Our theme is country music. All songs will be played on the banjo and everyone will be required to take line dancing in order to attend.”
Post # 13
I hate that the last wedding I was at the bride dragged me up for the boquet toss. Everyone was looking at me weird since I mean, I’m not married, but I am engaged and we did set a date. What’s the point? The other girls wear staring me down, it was kind of funny thinking of it now. She tossed it, I watched some people fight over it and walked away.
Post # 14
@katiegirl84: I forgot to mention the bouquet toss thing. I am an engaged woman. I consider myself to be off the market. I don’t need to go stand on a tiny dance floor with a bunch of girls fighting over a silk bouquet. Yet, every wedding I attended, people were trying to force me to go up for the bouquet toss. It was really annoying. I’d say, “No, I’d like to give some of the single women a chance.” Then, people were like, “We won’t tell!” Wtf?! Tell what? Tell my Fiance I went up for the bouquet toss? He wouldn’t give a crap!
@MrsBroccoli: Lol, I should have done that!
@swanks4tw: That’s how it was at my step-cousin’s wedding two weeks ago. Everyone, including her stepmother and step-sisters, were talking about my wedding. It made me extremely uncomfortable. As soon as I got out of the car to go into the church, all of my cousins bombarded me asking all kinds of questions. As soon as the wedding was over, people were asking me questions in their receiving line! Then, outside during all of the pictures, and of course during the six hour reception. I think the bride got annoyed because my step-mom said, “That dress was bought for your wedding.” In regards to my sister’s flower girl dress. It was just neverending and the bride hasn’t spoke to me since. But, I definitely did not bring that on. I am not the type of person to do stuff like that.
@lilbluebird: Rawr! This is soo annoying! I really didn’t want my wedding being talked about at such huge family functions because I can only have 50 people there. So, I am really having to scale down on the guest list. When someone hears mention of my wedding, it’s an all-out uproar. “You better invite me!” Somehow my aunt found out I had no intention of inviting her and her daughter to my wedding, and she came yelling down the church corridor, also while I was in the receiving line, that she wanted to know why I wasn’t inviting her!
Post # 15
ugh I know how this is. I went to a wedding earlier this year and the bride and groom said to me I can’t wait for your wedding right in the receiving line!! I wanted to melt into the floor.
Post # 16
@atalante: LOL @ the bride winging the bouquet into your face! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
@katiegirl84: I hate that part! I’ve never wanted to go up and I’m always left awkwardly standing near the back with my arms down. Yuck!