Post # 1
So I have been doing some reading and saw a number of people saying that they would prefer to have shorter engagements so that they could keep the momentum while some prefer longer engagements to make sure that everything is perfect. Along with that, some go through the longer engagement periods to save money.
Some ladies have long engagements and hope for shorter ones and vice versa.
I would love to know what is your ideal length of engagement?
Post # 3
When I get married in about a month we will have been engaged for 2.5 years. It was fine, but I think it was a bit too long. Originally it was only supposed to be 1.5 years. We were going to have a DW in Maui, but then FI’s mother became ill and it would have been really difficult for her to make the trip. So we cancelled all of our plans and started over with planning it locally and adding on another year.
We had been together 10 years when he proposed (we started dating at 15) and living together for 6 years. I don’t think the long engagement made much of a difference with our relationship – we already own a home together and basically have a married life – nothing will change in our day-to-day routine after we get married. However, I changed my mind a million times about wedding details. Thankfully I never had dress regret (I bought my dress 6 months into being engaged) but I have bought so many things that I ended up ditching and replacing. Its hard to have such a long engagement when you’re surrounded by wedding stuff all the time and new trends/themes come around. I think our original 1.5 years would have been perfect.
Post # 4
Between 18-24 months for us, I think. It’d give us enough time to save for the wedding we want, plus research things properly to make sure we get good deals on things :).
Post # 5
I chose 13-18 months. By the time it happens I don’t want to wait much longer, but I also want us to enjoy the planning.
Post # 6
Ours is 22 months — which is a little too long in my opinion. But both our ideal reception venue and church book 16-18 months in advance so I’m happy that they aren’t going to be all booked up.
Post # 7
A year would be perfect. We are doing a little over two years. It just starts to drag!
Post # 8
I don’t think there is a time, I think it depends on the couple, some people need two years, others need a few weeks, some need a few months. We got engaged at the end of Feburary of this year and are marrying on October 5th of this year. That’s a little over 8 months, to be honest the only reason we are marrying that day is because it is his birthday and we chose it for an extremely sentimental and personal reason. Had it not beeen for that, we would probably already be married. I had another friend’s whose sister got engaged in May and was married at the end of June. So I don’t think there is a wrong or right answer. If we look at it from a historical perspectivev what we now call the engagement period in biblical history is called the Betrothal Period ( A jewish custom). After the Man and his family approached the brides family and asked for her hand in marriage and paid them money. The groom would return with his family and prepare the place that that he and his bride would return to after the ceremony and celebration. The bride never new how long the groom would be gone, because their might be travel involved, but it was her responsability to be ready when he returned. (HENCE THE LONG ENGAGEMENT PERIOD). The reason why the brides’ family pays for the wedding is because the jewish custom was the bride family had to give the groom’s family a Dowry for her.
Many of these traditions still occur today in the Middle East. I did an extensive study, because I like to know why we do what we do, from throwing the bouquet and garter to the long engagement.
Sorry for the long post
Post # 9
Our engagement was 14 months. He proposed in the winter and we wanted a spring wedding so it was either 2 months to plan or 14. It was nice to not have to rush with a lot of the planning in the beginning, and our venue did need to be booked far in advance. If our engagement had been a few months shorter that would have been ok with me because by the end I was antsy to be his wife already haha, but in reality it wasn’t too long of an engagement.
Post # 10
Ours was 1 year and a few weeks. I think 1 year is perfect.
Post # 11
Ours is 8 months. I am WAY too much of an Antsy Annie to wait over a year. I also didn’t want planning to consume my life for more than that. I’m trying to keep perspective on what the day should mean and not get sucked into letting the wedding get bigger than the marriage.
Post # 12
At least a year, for me, but it also depends on what time of year we get engaged. Both SO and I really want to get married in the summer (at his parent’s beach house in Rhode Island), so depending on when he asks, we will have to wait at least 1.5 years, in order to do things at the right time.
Post # 13
At LEAST two years. Three would be nice too, I just want to enjoy it! Probably doesn’t make sense since we’re eloping anyway but since we’re so young, coming up with money is a bit of a struggle.
Post # 14
We were engaged for about 14 months. This was perfect for us because we kept the momentum up but we also had enough time to plan. We also had the perfect amount of time to save what we needed. We definitely could have planned and saved with a shorter engagement as well but it may have been more stressful.
Post # 15
ours in 8 months. i would have liked a little shorter. but i would say ideal would be 6-9 months. that wasn’t an option.
Post # 16
I think 18-24 months, so that we would have time to save up for the wedding.