What's YOUR BF/SO's reason for not having proposed yet? POLL

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Why has your BF/SO not proposed yet?
    Financially not ready : (31 votes)
    46 %
    Waiting to get job / finish uni / get promotion : (21 votes)
    31 %
    Not sure if I'm the one - not at that stage yet : (13 votes)
    19 %
    I have no idea - we don't talk about it : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee

    Financially not ready is my biggest reason – I have to finish paying off the ring. Second reason is waiting for a job. I always promised myself I’d propose once I had a full-time job. I just got moved to full-time and am technically still in training. Once I finish that, I’ll be financially stable.

    Post # 3
    Member
    935 posts
    Busy bee

    Im technicaly not waiting but were still in college and financially unstable. I would have voted for both if you gave the option lol.

    Post # 4
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee

    I voted “financially not ready” though not for the reason you might think… I don’t think my SO is ready to give up his “financial freedom”. My parents have one account and all of their money belongs to both of them no matter who “earned” it. I told my SO that that is how I want it to be when we are married. I think he believes he won’t be able to buy whatever he wants if we share an account. That’s not true, but he is a very independent person and he still wants to be able to do things on his own. I’m hoping he gets over that soon though! Lol

    Post # 5
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    He wants to wait until he’s more financially stable, which is fine. I know it’s coming eventually (we went to look at rings tonight!), so whenever he’s ready, that’s when it’ll happen.

    Post # 6
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee

    It’s a new thing every time I make a comment 😛

    Really I think it’s just because he feels like once it happens there will be a mad rush to get married and buy a house and have children and a dog and the whole shebang. Not true, but I can see why he feels that way. We’ve been together since we were barely pubescent and have been talking about that since then, so he probably feels like it’s right around the corner after engagement.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I didn’t vote. For a long time he said it was financial but really I think he just wasn’t ready even though he was the one bringing up marriage. Currently the ring is now in the house and he says he’s waiting for the right moment. Personally I think he’s intent on torturing me :-p

    Post # 8
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I think it’s primarily financial reasons…he’d like for us to have a bigger savings account first. We’re both recently graduated and moved, so it’s going to take time to build that up. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee

    I *think* he recieved the ring in the mail this past Tuesday 🙂 he said a month or so ago that it didn’t seem special anymore because I knew of his timeframe and was extremely involved in finding the perfect ring. He mentioned that he might not make his timeframe. I asked later if he was serious, and he became upset, stating it wasnt special anymore. Sine then I have backed off and stopped mentioning anything of rings/proposals. I think he is planning to do it soon, and I think what’s holding him back is he wants it to be special. Also, in poll you may want to add other. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    998 posts
    Busy bee

    I voted for financial reasons, but only because that option was the best fit out of the available choices. Although DBF and I are still university students, the simple fact that we’re still in school wouldn’t stop us from getting engaged (or even married, if we opted for a simple affair and it made sense from a financial standpoint); in fact, we’ll both be in school when he proposes if we stick to another year or two of waiting.<br /><br />DBF’s main fear about proposing now is that we’d get flack from our families because of how young we are, especially considering how his side has views that are very typical of modern western European attitudes regarding marriage. Combined with the fact that we still both live with our parents, it wouldn’t be the smartest move to risk alienating them at this point, so we wait. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

     

    smashleykat:  Agree on adding “other” for poll. My SO is waiting until the summer ends, because I hate the heat and humidity. So then I made the mistake of saying when we were engaged “this fall,” and he got upset. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to guess that he’d propose in the fall, even though the ring is ready (I think) and we want to be engaged soon. I was just supposed to know it wouldn’t be summer. So now I’m in the SIUP and holding my tongue, because I don’t want him to think the surprise is ruined.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2566 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    When we were talking about getting engaged at the beginning of the year, my SO mentioned that he wanted to be settled into his new position at work, buy a house to get his son into a better school district, and finish his BA (putting the timeline to around July when he would start thinking about getting me a ring).

    What ended up happening:

    • He hates his new position… well, hates his company, in general.  He’s “okay” with his new position.
    • We bought a house (found in March, closed in May), and my stepson’s mom registered him into her school district anyways.
    • My SO took a month off from classes… then another month… then he found that financial aid wouldn’t cover him until June… took another month off.  So he started again in July, will be finished by December.

    So what’s happened with the engagement?  He bought the stone in April, and just started receiving the custom rings in the mail a week ago 🙂  Of course, as soon as he took a month off of school, I told him how that was unfair to the timeline he gave me since he wasn’t actually working on school.  He must have agreed.

    Good luck, waiting bees!  I’m hoping my wait is nearing the end in the next month *crosses fingers*

    Post # 13
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee

    madmaxshannah:  I am somewhat in the same boat as you. Originally bf said end of year but while on couples vacation in June, he told his friends in front of me by end of summer. I am pretty sure he bought ring in July, and received it this week. He bought a car that is currently getting fixed, n he had been talking about romantic drive in New/old car on pch n going to nice dinner, so I have a hunch that’s when it’ll happen. Also, bf isn’t the romantic type, more the routine/predictable type. Also, he put the package in closet, so hard not to look. I’ve been *waiting* all summer, can’t wait til it’s official 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee

    Oh, we’ve discussed getting married next summer end of June and I start grad school Monday..so it doesn’t help wanting to hurry it up. Here’s to us getting engaged by end of summer 🙂 our 3 year anniversary is end of Nov. Hope he doesn’t wait til then.

    Post # 15
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee

    At first I think it was just he wasn’t ready. However he is so on board now. We are just waiting a few more months for his sister to get married now. He keeps saying he can’t wait till her wedding is over lol. 

    Most likely I will be officially engaged before the end of the year! I’m hoping for a fall proposal though, it’s my favorite time of year. 😀

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