What's your non-negotiable in a relationship partner?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: My ideal SO/DH must have:
    Intelligence : (133 votes)
    54 %
    Looks : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Humour : (98 votes)
    40 %
    Wealth : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Age/Experience : (4 votes)
    2 %
    Power/Social Cache : (1 votes)
    0 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Arshim:  Intelligence. I can deal with pretty much everything except stupid.

    Post # 5
    Member
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    While I almost voted “humour”, I don’t think I could ever compromise on intelligence. I think a huge part of someone having a great sense of humour and a quick wit is based on intelligence – if they’re stupid, it’d take them too long to make a witty remark or even just whip out a punchline.

    That being said, looks also matter to me. I wouldn’t stay with someone who didn’t find me attractive, and it goes both ways. I wouldn’t want to be with someone entirely for their personality and hold them back from finding someone who truly found both their personality and appearance beautiful. I’m not looking for someone with unattainable good looks (I know people who only date 1990s “Brad Pitt” level gorgeous guys), but they need to have qualities that I find appealing. I’m not worried about a bit of extra weight or a lack of gym-based muscle, but his smile should draw me in and his eyes should look happy to me.

    I couldn’t care less about age/experience, wealth, or power/social cache. As long as we’re at the same stage in our lives, it doesn’t matter. We’ll make ends meet.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2134 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    For me, intelligence and humor go hand in hand, as I’m pretty sarcastic and enjoy witty humor. FI and I always say that we’re glad we found each other, because we both HATE when we say something sarcastically to someone else and they just don’t get it. That’s definitely something I wouldn’t be able to live with, even if the person was otherwise a genius.

    Post # 7
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Arshim:  While I think a mix of traits is important, I know for a fact that I can’t deal with a moron. One thing I love so much about my fiance is we can be watching a TV show or a movie and one of us will say to the other, “hey, do you think that _____ was a symbol for _______? I wonder if there’s scholarship on this.” I love that he not only is a smart guy, but that he’ll also challenge me intellectual. It’s a really beautiful thing. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’d say good moral character, first and foremost.  Intelligence second. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @mrandmrsp:  Good point. That should be added to the poll!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    It’s a tie between intelligence and humour. They complement each other beautifully.

    Compassion and empathy are pretty high on the list, too.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9533 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Intelligence hands down! If you lined up all the guys I’ve dated they look completely different but they’re all very smart. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Intelligence. I also like a sense of humor, but intelligence is more important.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Intelligence and humor. I can’t pick one over the other. I just don’t think I could be with or marry someone that was lacking one of those two. I know some uber intelligent people that are just such a bore – no personality, no sense of humor. That is not appealing to me.

    Post # 14
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee

    It’s a lot of things but since I have to vote for just one option I went with intelligence.

     

    I can put up with a lot of things and I am one of the most non-judgemental people ever but I had a really stupid ex and that was enough lol

    Post # 15
    Member
    4641 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Intelligence, humor, and good morals. That’s about all I care for..

    Of course.. money, good looks, life experience, and power are great.. but if you’re a humorless idiot who has a history of cheating and treating other people without dignity or respect those things don’t matter..

    Post # 16
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Intelligence.  My DH is one of the smartest people I know. 🙂

     

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