(Closed) What's your relationship like with your mother-in-law?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: What's your relationship with your mother-in-law like?
    Tropical : (104 votes)
    23 %
    Warm : (217 votes)
    48 %
    Cool : (62 votes)
    14 %
    Frosty : (25 votes)
    6 %
    Glacial : (20 votes)
    4 %
    Other : (21 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    8696 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law is 5 hours away and my Fiance is in the military so I dont get to see her often. I speak to her via text. She is nice but we aren’t extremely close. I am very close to my parents so it would be hard for me to see her like a “mother.” However, I’m happy that we have no issues and have never had a problem.

    Post # 4
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    That’s great that you’ve got such a great relationship with your in-laws! I’ve found it can be tricky to build a relationship with a family who has very different ways of interacting to my family – I come into their family with my preconceptions, behaviours, values, etc. and while we get along, there are a lot of places where we don’t mesh too well.

    I get along with my Mother-In-Law pretty well, and she’s pretty nice – nowhere near as bad as FIL! I guess it’s just that she’s not the sort of person I would spend time with if I weren’t married to her son. I like her and don’t mind spending time with her, but she’s not someone I would go out of my way to be around. I think it pushes me away more that she’s always wanted a daughter, so is always making a big deal about me calling her “mum” and her calling me her daughter. Like I said, I like her, but not enough for her to be my “mum.” I guess it’s like if you had a casual acquaintance that called your their BFF and made a big deal of how “close” you were to them – it’s sweet that they like you that much, but it’s also kind of weird when you don’t feel that way in return.

    Post # 5
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I love my FMIL!  I actually get along with her a lot better than my own mother. 

    Post # 6
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Very awesome that you and your Mother-In-Law get along so well!  My Mother-In-Law and myself have grown to like and care about each other over the years.  But we started off pretty rocky.  I married her youngest son by far of 4 kids, and he was definitely her “baby”.  He had some not-so-serious other relationships, and she later admitted it was hard for her to “let him go” when he met and eventually proposed to me.  Plus, his family is very sweet and conservative, and my family are big drinks and definitely share what we’re all thinking/feeling, so that was a bit of a difference in family lifestyles.  We actually had a pretty bad falling out at one point (to both of our faults) but talk ed and later came to terms.  Now we get along just fine.  It has been a growing process but in the end I know she just really loves her son and I respect her for that.  I’m sure we’ll evetually get to the point where we truly love eachother and have a good relationship, but it just takes time.  🙂

    Post # 7
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it can take time as well. Mine isn’t always nice to me and I don’t know what I will get each time I see her.  Sometimes she is very rude/mean to me, other times she is giving me a hug.  I will be her only daughter in law she will ever have and I have been nothing but nice to her and made an effort, but it can’t all be one sided.  Usually when you meet a new family, they pull you in and want to know you and talk with you.  I think they thought I should be the one inviting them to do things and all that instead.  I don’t live around my family, only his so I would have hoped things would have been better than this so far.  But I do think in time things can be better. 

    For your mum, I think she says negative things to you because she doesn’t want to see you fail and she wants you to turn out good, even though it does not come across that way, several parents do that, and I truly think she doesn’t mean it at all.

    All the best!



    Post # 8
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law is…fine. She is just not a warm person at all, and is just not good at expressing much of anything other than dislike for things. She likes me fine though, and I’m pretty sure she’s convinced her son could not do better. We had a big fight a few months ago that we are now mending and doing much better. Its just odd to have that relationship with someone who is just like not emotional at all.

    Post # 9
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I had a great relationship with Future Mother-In-Law before she passed. She was much more supportive of my engagement to FH than my own mother was. For a long time she was the only person I could talk to about the wedding. She always treated me like I belonged and was a part of the family, which is something I didn’t have with other boyfriends. She was a great lady. 

    Post # 10
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Future Mother-In-Law is great, and like you OP my relationship with my own mother can be so-so. The only thing is my sister’s Mother-In-Law is really judgemental of our mother, so I’ve become very defensive about my mother over the years. I can see a little of that judgement in my Future Mother-In-Law and it bothers me. 

    Post # 11
    2026 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @goingtotherooftopoflove:  I LOVE my FMIL! She is like an older version of me! We dont talk all the time or anything but I love going to visit her and spend a weekend.  We get along so well.  I am actually even closer to my Fiance grandmother! She email, facebooks, and texts all the time! Atleast weekly to see how life is going. I am closer to her than I am my own grandparents now! I really do love his family I am so blessed to be marrying into his little family. 

    Post # 12
    924 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Sadly my Future Mother-In-Law is a bit of a professional victim – she’s got a great life, but seems determined to feel sorry for herself.   No idea why, apart from having too much of a sense of entitlement, and rabid ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ syndrome.  Bit of a shame, really.  


    Also doesn’t help that she has a very strong accent, and talks very quietly…and too much!  It’s a real chore to have a conversation with her.  


    I keep my distance because due to the all of the above I always come away feeling really irritated.  Mainly because my late exMIL was a good decade older than her, and had a much more positive outlook on life, was a lot more ‘fun’ to be around – and I always feel sad that she died before she got to have any sort of retirement.  Sometimes I feel like slapping Future Mother-In-Law and telling her to realise how lucky she really is…


    Post # 13
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I love mine! From day one she (and the whole family) were so welcoming and warm. I live with them, and have been doing so since August of 2012! It’s all due to jobs… funnily enough, my Fiance now lives with MY parents in my hometown! Haha.

    They are wonderful and she is about the sweetest most caring person I have ever met. I always tell Fiance “your mom is a SAINT” lol

    Post # 14
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I love her. She’s a fun, funny, generous, caring person. She’s had a difficult and strange life and was raised in a VERY different time and culture than me (and than my mom, for that matter), so she makes choices/does things that I don’t always agree with or understand that I know are largely influenced by her background. She can be insensitive and hurtful at times… hubby knows that better than anyone… but she doesn’t have bad intentions. In the end, I love her and feel luck to have her as my Mother-In-Law.

    Post # 15
    7200 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law is nice to me to my face and I know she really wants me to like her. The problem is, I know how she treats other people (like FI) and I’m worried that once she feels I like her enough she will treat me the same way. I have brought this up to Fiance and he told me she will probably always be nice to me becuase she doesn’t want me to like his step mom more. While I do like her, I do not approve of the way she treats Fiance or the way she handles certain situations.

    Post # 16
    2499 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My Future Mother-In-Law and I are perfectly pleasant to each other but I know that my fiancé and her relationship isn’t the best so it is difficult to know where to stand. Obviously I will always side with him (except when he is being petty cos sometimes he is…they are as bad as each other, then I won’t side with anyone) but the more stories he tells, the more true they are. I think I will always be civil to her, but until she starts treating my fiancé better then…what more can I do!

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