Post # 1
SO told me some pretty interesting things over dinner last night. The whole conversation started when he told me that he had taken his laundry over to his parents house, and some of mine had accidentally gotten mixed in. Can you guess what his mom found while going through his laundry? A pair of my black satin panties, and a satin robe. Awk-ward. This is exactly why you don’t have your mom do your laundry AFTER you move in with your girlfriend. I just love how it couldn’t have been a t-shirt or a pair of sweatpants. It had to be panties. haha
It turns out his mom has asked him on more than one occasion if we are going to get married, and he has said yes. (I hope he realizes that he actually has to ask me, and I actually have to say yes for this to be true, but hey, this is still nice to know! haha) She then told him that she thinks I’d be a wonderful daughter-in-law. She asked if we would be getting married in a church (she’s very catholic) and he said since neither of us are religious, probably not. She then said if we don’t get married in a church, she’s not coming to the wedding. …Really, lady? We aren’t even engaged yet and you’re already threatening stuff like this? My SO’s response to this? “Fine, it’s your loss, Mom.” I then told him I couldn’t believe she said that and that my mom would come to my wedding even if it was on a volcano that was about to erupt. His response? “That sounds awesome! We should do that? You wanna?” Lol…wow.
He insists that she likes me, but I get a “I’m nice to you because you’re probably going to be my daughter-in-law some day but I don’t fully know you, therefore I don’t fully trust you yet” vibe from her.
What’s your relationship like with your SO/FI’s mom?
Post # 3
I don’t think her saying she wouldn’t go to the wedding indicates anything about her feelings about you. I know that sounds crazy, but if she’s very traditional Catholic, then she is basing this on her religious views, not on you. So I wouldn’t take it personally, and I’d cross that bridge when it comes. There’s honestly no need to worry about it now, especially since you and SO are on the same page.
Post # 4
@MidwestBride2012: +1. She’s VERY Catholic (Catholic with an Upper-Case C, is what I call it). OK. Thats cool. Hey, as long as she doesn’t hate you. She likes you. Thats better then Debora on Everybody Loves Ramon.
“my mom would come to my wedding even if it was on a volcano that was about to erupt. His response? “That’s sounds awesome! We should do that? You wanna?” Lol…wow.” <— This is an awesome response for your SO to have. I think you guys are on a great page. Good for you. and my mom would come to my Volcano wedding too…but she would complain the ENTIRE TIME!
Post # 5
FMIL is a little needy for my tastes. We need to make ourselves available to attend EVERY family function, and we need to have a dinner for EVERY person’s birthday. If we cant she whines a little and gives us a hard time. We see her more than my parents who are only 5 minutes down the road.
So i am going to have to start saying no. But i know she means well. She just is very family oriented. But i do get along with her fairly well.
Post # 6
Surprisingly I like his mom much more than I like mine. She may come around, and may not. My friend is having her wedding in the Catholic church just so her dad will come. He did not go to her sisters weddings. Sad but true.
Post # 7
I got over being mortified of FMIL doing my laundry….the first time I saw a neatly folded lacey thong…..Yeah….We’d go over to use their machines and she is a cleaning freak so you try to do it and she already has. I started making a separate pile of my underwear to wash at the apt.
My relationship with her is actually really great. I guess I always expected to have a bad one because of horror stories.
Post # 8
i can’t figure it out.
she’s SUPER nice to me… like, goes out of her way to be nice to the point of being suspicious.
i am fortunate that she is so nice, but i feel like i’m not 100% there yet
i don’t feel completely comfortable or confident with our relationship, and i’m not sure if that will ever happen.
we are quite different in a few fundamental ways and that may be what is holding us back
Post # 9
I’ve never met her, and never will. My SO has not spoken to her in over 10 years and he turns 30 this year. She is a toxic person and he cut her out of his life. On the bright side, I don’t have to worry about her folding my panties!! Another reason to only wear cute panties though! I would want my future son’s SO to have a lacey thong rather than granny panties!
Post # 10
Ha! That’s happened to me once too- My FMIL found a lacy thong in the dryer along with my FI’s clothing when she was moving his clothes to a laundry basket to use the machine. Luckily, she didn’t fold it or anything, but she did mention that she saw it. :X
Our relationship is interesting. We used to get along great (lunches just the two of us, spending hours together crafting, etc), but it’s become a little strained since we’ve started planning the wedding. I’m hoping once the wedding is over it’ll improve to what it used to be.
Post # 11
@September29: This is how I feel about us too. She’s always very cordial, and she’s constantly giving me things (cookies she’s baked, little knick knacks for our apartment), but you know that iffy feeling you get when you can tell someone is not being completely genuine? I know she’s trying, but I can also tell she’s very resentful of the fact that SO moved out of her house and in with me. Apparently she always yells “DON’T FORGET TO USE PROTECTION!” when he’s on his way out the door to come see me. Wow.
Post # 12
I love my FMIL. She’s very lovely and generous, though she can be a little passive-aggressive and throws a little fit if she knows we’re going to FFIL/FSMIL’s house. She and FFIL divorced over 20 years ago, and she’s still bitter about it, and I’m like, just get over it already. Then again, apparently he was a different person back then. She does a lot for us, lets us do laundry at her house (and takes it from us and does it herself half the time, though I’m really picky about my laundry, so I try to do it) so that we don’t have to try to find quarters all the time.
My big thing is that she’s still in touch with FI’s awful ex. She’s gotten Christmas cards, birth announcements and birthday party invitations (for the kid she had with her new husband), and FMIL invited her over (or okayed her coming over) back in the spring to see FSIL and her son (FI’s nephew) when they were in town. FSIL could very well have had her go to HER parents’ house instead. I can maybe understand if they had an amicable breakup, but she cheated on him and then told him that it wasn’t a big deal.
I’m not close to my own mother, so having at least one mother figure is good. After my first boyfriend’s mom (she haaaaaaaated me), I said that I would never be with someone whose parent(s) didn’t like me.
ETA: We went on vacation a couple of years ago, and she watched our cats. When we came back, she’d cleaned our entire apartment, which was awesome! She was like, “I hope you’re not mad…” LOL MAD?! That I didn’t have to come back from vacation and have to clean? No. Except that she picked up in the bedroom, which included our lube…argh.
Post # 13
@Swizzle: Your fmil sounds like mine she’s kind of needy he recently moved out of her house a couple of months ago so now its just his mom and sister living there. she gave him the silent treatment over the phone because he didn’t invite her over to his house for the weekend since the last time she was down two weeks ago. To make matters worse she calls herself the queen. I love this woman and I do anything for her but I don’t like her. She’s a passionate woman. If you do something she approves of she’ll praise you endlessly but if I do something thats not to her standards she’ll turn on me and bitch and moan to her son about it.
So I only get along with her for the sake of my SO’s sanity
Post # 14
My SO’s mom is very very nice to me. But, personally, when I finally met his family (after almost 5 years together!) I was more worried about his Grandmother because that’s who is the apple fo my SO’s eye. But thankfully they both love me. His mother and him are not that close, cordial is what I would call THEIR relationship. But thankfully it all worked out. But whenever His mother and I chat online she always types D.I.L for Daughter In-Law. I type M.I.L. It is our informal way of achknowleging it
Post # 15
@vorpalette: HA! Have you seen the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda’s cleaning lady Magda opens her “special drawer” and finds her vibrator and her condoms, and she replaces the vibrator with a statue of the Virgin Mary? That’s what would happen if his mom cleaned our apartment!
Post # 16
My FMIL is great! She’s super nice and even though FI is a momma’s boy, she’s very careful to not step on any toes/be overbearing. It’s very impressive, actually. She’s awesome and a lot of fun! She’s also very smart about business and money (a big weak spot for me), so we can ask her questions and get advice on that kind of stuff.
She tells me all the time how excited her and FFIL are to be getting a daughter. They have two boys, and FBIL is engaged, but his FI is not very friendly and kind of dramatic.