Maggie Sottero's Bethani in ivory?
more by redherring
Pictures of non-fondant cakes?
What are your SO's habits (that they don't think you know about)
more in Relationships
How well do we know each other?
Wii Active Bees?
more in Boards
How well do we know each other?

What's your SO's "price of admission"?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Hostess
    1,993 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    So, I was watching Dan Savage the other day, and he introduced me to the concept of a relationship's price of admission. The way he explained it is that no one is perfect, and our imperfections are our price of admission. And in a relationship, the goal is to meet someone who is worth their price of admission. What I'm willing to pay might not be what someone else is willing to pay, which is how some couples end up "perfect for each other". I'm sure that a lot of you are friends with couples where the two people are great with each other, but you know that they'd drive you CRAZY if you were dating them! 

    So, what's your SO's price of admission? What are his/her little (or big!) imperfections that might drive the rest of the world nuts, but are worth it to you?

    For my fiance, he likes to drink. He's definitely not an alcoholic, but he can put away a martini (or five), and I'm sure this would drive some women crazy. He also has this tendency to leave his dirty gym laundry in his gym bag, and good lord, it reeks! And he's also a bit ADD - like, we'll be in the middle of a conversation, and he'll get totally distracted and just wander off. But for all of these, I just recognize them as part of the package, and he's totally worth it :)

     
    2.
    Member
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    mskalinin    Sept. 12, 2009   North East

    My husband is the oldest child in his family and among his friends, so he can tend to be a little controlling. But I can deal with it because I just ignore him, or point out to him that he is being bossy. He is very receptive to this tendancy and acknowleges it, but its stronger than him (as he says).

    I know this would drive some ladies nuts, but I think its because a lot of people would kind of bow to it to reduce bickering. We bicker a lot because we butt heads. But he says he loves that he can't tame me.

    I bet if you asked him what my price of admission is, he would say that I am really disgusting. I burp and fart very loud and he gets mad because he says I am proud of it. I'm not proud! But it does make me laugh sometimes!! Sorry... tmi.

     
    3.
    Hostess
    1,993 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    @mskalinin - Heh. I guess another one of my fiance's prices of admission would be his ... bodily functions. You and he share a similar skill set :)

     
    4.
    Member
    3,486 posts
    Sugar bee
    HoneyBear    March 17, 2012   Texas/ Isla Mujeres

    My BF leaves his clothes everywhere. Like I dont get how his pants end up in the kitchen....really??

    His dog is also really spoiled and annoying lol

     
    5.
    Member
    2,416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Minutiae    May 2011  

    He snores: doesn't bother me in the least. Maybe I'm just desensitized to noise after growing up with four siblings, haha.

    He's super clean and obsessive-compulsive: just like me! Some people wouldn't be able to handle staying clean and tidy all the time, but we strike a natural rhythm.

    He's pretty uptight about safety and security: I feel safe, not like I'm dating someone paranoid. Though it does make me laugh sometimes. One time I dropped a piece of food on the island and was about to put it back on my plate when he lunges at the food and throws it away. "You don't want to eat that! Didn't you feed the flowers here earlier?" "Yeah? So what?" "There might be chemicals on the counter still." "...Oh."

    He hates to fold the laundry because he can never make the folds perfect: Whatevs. I will gladly fold all the clothes if he does the washing!

     
    6.
    Member
    1,542 posts
    Bumble bee
    rabbit    September 3, 2010   Milwaukee, WI

    My FIs price of admission is constant language/grammer obsession spewed forth nonstop. I just have to ignore him most of the time when he starts going off about Latin or Greek roots, the meaning and origin of words, the "correct" way to pronounce things, the correct way to spell things...etc. If you get beyond the obsession, he's an amazing man and I'm willing to look beyond the language spew (although at times it drives me nuts). My dearest hope is that when he eventually becomes a professor of language (latin and Greek) and Classics, he'll spew less at home because he'll get it out of his system at work. One can only hope... :)

     

    My price of admission is my Autism. Most people can't handle my quirks and twitiches and/or treat me different as a result. My FI treats me like anyone else and he's beyond understanding of things I do. i could forgive him a million language lessons just for this. :)

     
    7.
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    WDWBride    March 3, 2010   Walt Disney World

    I think it's DF's addiction to Final Fantasy...it's gotten a LOT better since we met but he still plays quite a bit.  He has one night a week (previously boys night) that he plays for hours and hours and I find my own stuff to do.  The rest of the week it's not so intense.

    Mine is my temper/impatience. DF is really good at dealing with me and helping me calm down. I have gotten WAY better since I met him.   Gotta love Italian/Irish girls :)

     
    8.
    Member
    3,763 posts
    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    My FI is a workaholic...used to drive me NUTS. He can also be a little controlling...but so can I so we balance each other out. We are both Type A personalities so we have strong opinions about a lot of things...Our friends tease us that we bumped heads so often during our relationship that we have smoothed out each other's rough spots and we fit together nice and tight now...LOL.

     
    9.
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    PeytonL79    12/6/2009   DC Area

    My FI's price of admission is his snoring/burping/other bodily noises.  The burping in particular drives me a little nuts - I keep telling him he needs to go see a doctor about it!!

    He would probably say his price of admission is the fact that he has a disability (he is legally blind and can't drive), but that really doesn't bother me at all.  It's just become a part of my life now.  And I drive my daughter around, so I might as well have him in the car with us.  :-)

    My price of admission is probably my monstrous student loan debt, the fact that my mother is a bit looney (aren't they all?), and also my ex-husband (who fortunately has become less of a factor now that he has found someone too and is leaving me alone).

     
    10.
    Hostess
    1,993 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    @JamaicaBride - The first man I ever thought I might marry was a workaholic. He and I were together for three and a half years, and he was perfect in pretty much every other way. Which is why it took me that long to acknowledge that him being a workaholic was a price I wasn't willing to pay. I'm glad you managed to come to terms with it. And I love the idea of smoothing each other's rough spots :)

     
    11.
    Member
    1,135 posts
    Bumble bee
    AnamCara    April 10, 2010   Ireland/Connecticut

    Not to sound like a cheeseball but he is everything I ever prayed for and more.

    The 'price of admission'?  He lives (and now I do too - it's where we met) 3000 miles from my hometown and my family.  It's a major price to pay but I just can't imagine life without him.  I get a pang in my stomach when I think about how far from home I am but for now, this is the price I'm paying. 

     
    12.
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee
    HereComesTheSun    March 6, 2010   Houston, TX

    He has the memory of a gnat. Luckily I more than make up for us both and he tries so hard to remember the stuff that matters.

     

     

     
    13.
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    CupcakeSprinkles    October 16, 2010   Dallas, Texas

    My FI's price of admission would probably be his stubborn nature.  Being the oldest (and the oldest boy) he's used to getting his way most of the time.  But joke's on him because I'm an ONLY child and just as, if not more, stubborn than him!  He also has really odd allergies, that I know aren't his fault, but he clears his throat a looooot (like SJP in "The Family Stone"  hehe) and although it used to drive me bonkers, I've gotten used to it. 

    My price of admission is probably that I'm really sensitive -- again, it's an only child thing.  I want to impress everyone, and I get really upset at the thought that I've disappointed you.  Also, I cry.  A. Lot.  99.999% of the time it's not in an attempt to manipulate or get my way, it's just sort of how I release anxiety!  But I know it upsets him too, so I'm trying to be better about it. 

     
    14.
    Member
    2,099 posts
    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    My husband's price was probably his lack of financial sense.  The kid made some dumb choices and his credit is still being drawn down by them.  Fortunately, he got a huge wake up call that really kicked his butt in gear AND he doesn't mind at all if I take over the finances.  His current career is probably another one (and the money problems are pretty much a direct result of it.)  Rodeo is a tough sport and sometimes I wonder how I can put up with it.  (For example, he just broke his ankle last Friday and will be getting surgery on it this Friday.) 

    Oh well.  He is totally worth it.  (And he'll be retiring soon, thank goodness!)  :-)

    My price is probably my tendancy to want to do things my own way.  I can be ridiculously stubborn and be certain that my way is best and if it's going to be done right you have to do it yourself.  (For example, my mom says my first word was "self" as in, I'll do it myself!)  Fortunately, he's very good at explaining himself and admitting that my idea might be the better one.  We usually come up with good compromises. 

    ETA: He would probably tell you that my price was my dog.  The thing is a beast and since he was starved when he was little you can't leave him alone around food.  (He can open the fridge even.)  He used to have bad separation anxiety too but that one's gotten better over the years.  He has definitely destroyed a few things though. 

     
    15.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,780 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    He has a high price of admission ;) but is *totally* worth it. One part of it is his spendthrift nature! He's very generous (with me, with others), though, and I love that about him, so I deal with the repricussions... and try to constrain him a little when necessary.

    Mine is almost certainly my bad temper. I can get really impatient and really angry, but he tolerates me (and I've mellowed some since I met him). :)

     
    16.
    Member Icon
    Member
    630 posts
    Busy bee
    cbgg      

    My guy has a very low price IMO!  He's unbelievably forgetful and he's not so great with organizing things and getting all the details nailed down.  Luckily I have an awesome memory and am great with details and logistics - so we make a good team. There are other things that might be a price for some people (not into anniversaries and valentines day, not into girly girls) but it's a perfect match for me.  Honestly, I have no clue when the day was that we started dating and would have no desire to celebrate if I did know!  

    I think he makes up for MY price of admission in much bigger ways (I'm a stress case and sometimes a hot head and he's very level headed and laid back).

     
    17.
    Member
    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    My FI and I are both paying the price of a long distance relationship. We will have been long distance a full year at the wedding. It's worth it but it is certainly hard!

    As far as his personal characteristics, he can be really stubborn and a bit arrogant sometimes, but he says that he loves how I can fix that real quick :)

    My "price" is my chronic lateness! I am notorious for being late to everything!

     
    18.
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    Bella Luna    September 5, 2010   Ohio

    I would have to say my FI's price of admission is his projects. He is a true busy bee and always has like 8-10 different projects going on at a time. In fact, right now 2 of them have invaded my dining room / living room and are creeping into the kitchen.

    -Bella

     
    19.
    5,478 posts
    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    FI's price of admission is probably some baggage he has from his childhood, that still comes up and means that he has his bad days. I don't think everyone could deal with that. But he's an amazing person, and totally worth it! 

    My price of admission is probably how hyper focused I get. When I set my mind to something, I tend not to think about anything else for awhile. I am willing to make my life (and by extension, his) really complicated to keep some of the things I love in my life. But I guess he thinks I am worth it, too!

     
    20.
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    OfficeBride    2010  

    Yeesh...considering I've been a Bee for a few months, you'd think I'd know what "SO" mean LOL.  Define please!

     
    21.
    Member
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    mskalinin    Sept. 12, 2009   North East

    significant other

     
    22.
    Hostess
    8,491 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    He's a loud talker and when he's been drinking he tells the same old rambling stories over and over again...  We can all finish the stories for him!  But it's part of his charm and I can't imagine him being any other way, because with those qualities comes his genuine love and affection for all the people around him and a pure joy for life.

    On the other hand, he has to put up with my stubborn, oldest child "I want it my way" desires... Luckily, he's the laid back younger child, so we get along like peas and carrots!

     
    23.
    Hostess
    7,115 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    zippylef    October 30, 2010   Norfolk, UK

    Df is a ridiculous slob. I'm talking "month old food, dirty clothes he hasn't seen in a year stuffed under his bed" slob.

    He is also very cheap. The only thing he has not been cheap on in our entire 3 1/2 year relationship was my e-ring. Then he started right up again on the wedding. lol. He is floored by how much this costs.

     
    24.
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    FI is obsessed with mindfulness and meditation (it's all in his Ph.D. studies...) and although I find it really interesting, I can't talk about it like he can. I just nod politely sometimes and he appreciates that I at least look interested. It's adorable. Love that kid. 

     
    25.
    Member Icon
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    Jaimea    4/10/10   Washington, DC

    I love this - it's great to see that other women are dealing with some of the same BS!  My FI's admission price is being divorced and living out in the 'burbs.  Before I met him I was set on experiencing the whole marriage thing for the first time with someone.  I even told some guys I met online that I couldn't date them because they'd been married before.  But then I met my FI, and I didn't want to deprive myself of his generosity and sweetness.  And, after 7 years of being an urban chic, I moved out to the suburbs and took on an hour and a half each way commute to work to live with him. While I'm not a big fan of the 'burbs, I couldn't imagine spending my nights without him.  On a more superficial level, his other admission prices are that he is a total slob - piles of clothes next to the bed and he has turned his "man's room" into a man hamper, and his bodily functions.

    My price of admission - I am probably overly security and safety conscious, and often think my way is better.

     
    26.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    1,451 posts
    Bumble bee
    octopus    January 1, 2000  

    Mine has, I would say, three things: 1.) he is a horrible, horrible slob. It's taken us literally years to work this out. He's like a human tornado. 2.) He is scatterbrained and disorganized--he's always losing things, forgetting things, mixing things up/getting confused. 3.) This is probably the biggest--he's an only child whose parents think he is the greatest gift in all of creation, and the fact that he never had any siblings to reign him in sometimes leads him to talk...and talk...and talk...AND TALK about absolutely nothing at all. He's kind of in love with the sound of his own voice--he'll just yammer on and on and on if somebody doesn't stop him.

    All of those things annoy me sometimes (and sometimes REALLY annoy me), but it's no big deal because he is also the kindest, most thoughtful, generous, loyal person I've ever met.

    My price of admission is that I can be really stubborn, bossy, and need to have things my way. I'm totally Type A--obsessively organized, ambitious, and goal-driven. We're basically total opposites. Most of the time those things really complement each other...sometimes it causes a conflict.

     
    27.
    Member
    9,971 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    Hmmm my FI's biggest price of admission is that he still carries from baggage from childhood that have resulted in low self esteem. This manifests in a lot of ways like **having** to have designer clothes, having a quick temper, etc. But, once we identified WHY he does certain things it has gotten a lot better and if he never got more over it than it is right now I'd be a-ok :)

     
    28.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    My J has always been a hot commodity... the whole time I've known him, he's only had trouble fending women off, not the other way around.

    I feel more like he's putting up with a ton by loving me. I wonder most days what I ever did to deserve someone as amazing as him.

     
    29.
    Bee
    5,821 posts
    Bee Keeper
    mouse    September 11, 2009   Austin, TX

    Interesting concept!

    My husband's "price of admission" is probably that he tends to be a little bit lazy.  It's hard to think of one!!  Well, he tells me that some people find him annoying, but I'm not sure why!

     
    30.
    Member
    1,418 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mrs. Louboutin    July 2010  

    My FI's price of admission:

    1). He helps support his parents financially, which I really do not like since we do not even own our own home yet.

    2). He has a bad temper, which he is trying to work on, but he goes bonkers when he gets really mad (usually at the tv when his teams don't do well).

    3). He never puts his dishes in the dishwasher or clothes in the dirty clothes basket.

    Despite this, I love him.

    Mine:

    1). I can be a spoiled brat. When I don't get my way, I can be cold towards him and pout.  I'm not proud of this.

    2). I hold the fact that my parents are paying for the entire wedding (and an expensive one to boot) over his head when I get riff raff from his side about various wedding related things.

    3). I hate it when his family comes to stay and make it known to him.  To my defense on this, we have a one bedroom apartment so having them come and stay in the living room is really awkward and uncomfortable for me.

    Despire all of this, we really do love each other.

    This is a really interesting thread.  Thanks to the original bee who posted this.

     
    31.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    Hm. I think my price of admission is higher than hubby's lol He's a gassy fellow, which I guess some people maybe wouldn't like. He lives with his parents which is seen as a big deal breaker for some, but really it's just Chinese tradition. he likes video games, but not obsessively. He does have a pretty bad memory, but he does a really good job of remembering the most important stuff.

     

    My price? I'm the oldest. I'm probably too controlling and like things done my way. My mom is a major pain in the butt. I'm patient, but possibly too patient, so I don't like to hurry (which is hard for a native NY-er to deal with lol). I'm a "goody two shoe" which some guys wouldn't like.

     
    32.
    Member
    1,739 posts
    Bumble bee
    JuneBride_26June2010    June 26, 2010   Indiana (legally married 13-Apr-2009)

    wow - awesome thread!

    my SO's price of admission:

    (i guess this is  what i "tolerate" about him...)

    1. he likes his beer - not an alcoholic - but he does love to drink beer (too much imo but it really isn't a problem, just an annoyance)

    2. he constantly corrects me when i'm wrong when I say something that i meant to say differently - yes this would annoy many women (and it does me) but the sucky thing is that yeah i KNOW i'm wrong in what i'm saying...and i just tell him off when he does.

    3. he's a super clean freak and while I like things clean, i also like clutter. but he can get annoying on the cleaning aspect...

    4. he hates to hear about our finances and i'm actually a CONTROL FREAK about mine - when we first met he told me "if we ever get married i want YOU to take care of our money" and I do and am - but it's annoying that he'd just rather not know what's going on. he puts his money in the bank and keeps his own cash for things and likes it that way. but it's perfect, cuz again, i'm ANAL about my money and always have been.

    -----------------------------

    mine, for him:

    1. my mom and i are very close and he hates that I share so much with her - especially info about our finances...but I talk to her probably 3 times a day? he just wishes i didn't tell her so much.

    2. my cat. he hates my cat but loves me and knows i'd kill him if he ever did anything to her...so he "tolerates" her.

    3. my obsessive-compulsive disorder about my diet.

    4. i'm with the other girls that burp loudly! he hates it. lol.

     
    33.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    oh, I forgot to add that I'm a grammar corrector lol He'll usually fix my spelling and such, but he says a lot of things wrong and I'll correct it lol

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 94
    ndreighton 64
    hisgoosiegirl 56
    beargoose 55
    Mrs.KMM 46
    akp0702 42
    BetterSherm 42
    MrsBlueSeptember 41
    MrsPom 37
    Beckster329 37

    Relationships

    User Posts Today
    RayKay 4
    JulesSchnooks 3
    vlbee 3
    ElbieKay 3
    MsMonkey 3
    NVACat 3
    Mrs.Enne 3
    Future Mrs K 3
    risingsun 3
    SapphireSun 2
    More