What's your Weddingbee "advice style"?

posted 4 weeks ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
5219 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Angry bee, for sure.

Post # 3
Member
4906 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Blunt, but at the same time tiptoes a bit b/c I’ve been chewed out for not phrasing things “just so” in the past by other angry bees, lol.

Post # 4
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

somathemagical :  

It completely depends on the post, in my opinion. If the poster has an issue that they know they are overreacting about and are looking for ways to feel better, I’m usually nicer.

If the poster admits fault in themselves, I’m pretty nice.

I save the tough love for the posters that can’t see any fault in themselves, or who are acting entitled etc. The more obnoxious the poster, the more tough love/snarky I get.

I have noticed that a lot of information comes in the follow ups though, so you might think you have a solid opinion of op, but then it completely changes with some follow ups. One recent op mentioned she had a past of being unfaithful on her fiance, and I was like… well, duh he feels disrespected, cheating will make someone feel that way. She eventually said that the unfaithfulness was being out late with friends, not cheating. So that threw me for a loop.

Post # 7
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

slomotion :  

I find myself agreeing with your angry bee responses, I think I’m a closet angry bee 😉

Post # 8
Member
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Im blunt. Sometimes I feel bad for being harsh but I try to just call it like I see it while still being kind. (sorry if I havent been kind to some of you bees!)

Post # 9
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

9 times out of 10 I try to understand where the bee is coming from because I’ve had “a lot of feelings” my whole life and my German mother is very “tough love”.  Tough love & being told that I’m overreacting has never helped me.  I think it only helps a very specific personality type.  For most others I think it just makes things worse- nobody reacts well when they don’t feel understood.  Also I really believe that many people already know where they are wrong- they don’t need it highlighted.  

I try to only give tough love if somebody openly asks for it or if are about to do something stupid.

Regarding cheating or any type of emotional abuse, however, I am the angriest bee.  Dump your boyfriend.  Leave your husband.  Cancel the wedding. Nobody deserves to put up with nonsense & I genuinely hate hearing about women being taken advantage of.  Even if I don’t know them.

Post # 10
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Honest and nice at the same time. I’m a nice person, but I will give my honest opinion. 

Post # 11
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

somathemagical :  Honest ! people come to the bee because they want to hear what their friends or family might be to afraid or too nice to say … you come here for the truth then be ready to hear it ! i love all my angry bees my  nice bees everyone taking time to reply i love it allll

Post # 12
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I often think about writing “get over it” with some of the more asinine posts. Due to this not being constructive, and, mostly, due to the website working terribly with my cell I often just don’t post at all. 

Post # 13
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I like to be honest but respectful even if I’m thinking WTF inside.  Some people (not just here, but behind any keyboard) can be just down right ugly.  I just don’t understand that approach.  We are all humans with feelings and you should treat and approach people with kindness and respect. 

Post # 14
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I try to remember that if someone is posting a problem on WB, it’s probably because they’ve found no one IRL who’s understanding about it, so even if I think they’re off the wall I usually tone down my response. I’ve gone online for a “sanity check” enough times… always after trying to talk to family and friends and being met with zero understanding, indifference,  or even worse. 

Post # 15
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

I think I’m a cross between tough love and nurturing… I am a nurse so I have kind of a sliding scale approach based on the person and situation.  Sometimes I’m more gentle, others I’m straight up and very direct, but I try to never be cold or unfeeling.  And I never think it’s fair to discount someones feelings or the seriousness of their situation *to them*.  Sometimes I think posts on here are ridiculous, but maybe it means a lot to that person.

However, if someone says something sarcastic, unnecessary, or snarky in any way, my compassion takes the back seat and I don’t hesitate to clap back. haha

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