When a guy who is into you asks if your e-ring is an e-ring…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@alsgirl:  Whenever I meet new guys, I just make sure to mention my fiance frequently–that way you never have to let them down!

When he asks you to hang out, just say, “Oh, I’m sorry, my fiance and I are making dinner/seeing a movie/whatever tonight. Maybe another time the three of us could hang out!”

Post # 4
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@alsgirl:  I really like the line (for use if they ask you out/for your number) “if I was single, I would have said yes” – it’s almost always true and lets them know that it’s not them or their “game” – just that you aren’t available. 

Your response was perfectly valid, I assume that your e-ring will be back soon and then he will have no doubt. 

Post # 5
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@alsgirl:  Yes, it’s possible that he’s interested but to be honest, why do you care? Shouldn’t you be focused on your grad work and your upcoming wedding? I would just be honest and get on with my life. 

I would always choose to tell the truth. 

Post # 6
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@mylittleviolett:  said,

Yes, it’s possible that he’s interested but to be honest, why do you care?  Shouldn’t you be focused on your grad work and your upcoming wedding? I would  just be honest and get on with my life. 

THIS –> 100%

YES I just don’t get it… women talk all the time about being “friends” with guys here on WBee… but then something like this comes up, I find that many don’t always know how to react.

I don’t get that, at all.

Honestly, this HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE for me… I don’t socialize with guys one-on-one when I am in a Relationship.  Period

Someone asks me out for Coffee, or “seems interested” and I cut them off at the pass as they say.

I don’t drop subtle hints, as sometimes that doesn’t work.

And I don’t mince my words… and try to flatter them etc (which only means you are sending off mixed messages) as Tickles suggested. 

I am concise & direct… so there is no misunderstanding… something like

“Look, something you should know… I have a BF / SO / Fiance / Husband, so I don’t socialize one on one with other men”

And then I chalk it up with a smile, as I head home… to the a man that other men cannot hold a candle to.  A guy having an interest in you is very much an ego boost… but so is saying “Sorry, but I’m taken”

 

Post # 7
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@alsgirl:  “and if so, what is a kind way to let him down?”


just say yes it is an e-ring. done.

Post # 8
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@This Time Round:  Yes, exactly. It really isn’t all that difficult. And I’m also sure that your FH would not appreciate you stringing some guy along because you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. No offense, but there are other women out there and you won’t ruin his chance of ever meeting someone again. 

Post # 9
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mylittleviolett:  I agree. There’s not really a nice way to let him down, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll cope. He brought it on himself by asking such a bold question. Your response was perfect.

Though I think you should have made it clearer earlier, like when he asked you over for coffee. With something like, “Thanks but it’s not appropriate because I have a boyfriend”.

Post # 10
Member
8708 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

“Is that an engagement ring?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

He doesn’t need to know it’s a stand in or anything else. It’s an engagement ring, enough said. If he doesn’t get the hint from that, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Post # 11
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think the casual way you handled it is just right.  It is unnecessary to hit him over the head with the fact that you can’t socialize with him unless he keeps asking you after this.  But I doubt he will. 

Post # 12
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@alsgirl:  just tell him its an engagement ring!  he’ll definitely get the hint.  if he doesn’t, have him meet your SO – that usually clears things up.

out of curiosity, and hope not to offend – do people in Austrailia wear wedding rings on their right hand? 

Post # 16
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @baileyjosephine: you said,

Just tell him its an  engagement ring!  he’ll definitely get the hint.  if he doesn’t, have him meet your SO – that usually clears things up.

Sorry, but seriously everytime you run into some “good old boy” who hits on you, and doesn’t take the message for what it is, and continues with the sly talk

“Seriously, you cannot be Engaged you look too young”

OR

“Come on give me a break, I bet if you went on one date with me, I could change your mind”

You recommend calling in the cavalry in the form of having one’s BF / Fiance / Husband come on down (meet up at School, Work, the Grocery Store) so as to prove there is said man in your life ???

Um, no.  Not this girl.

I am mature enough to handle my own “situations”… of which this in in the scheme of things is a small issue.

(This guy isn’t man-handling her… he’s just mouthing off)

At my age I’ve seen oodles of these guys… they just like to hear themselves talk, and

If the gal walks away, consistently… each.and.every.time he’s around… he’ll get the message.  He’ll grow bored eventually and move on to sweet talking some other woman.

 

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