When an ex gets married… and you cannot fathom why…

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
830 posts
Busy bee

Best case scenario: He learned form how he treated you, realised what a horrible jerk he was and changed.

Worst case scenario: He learned how to control his crazy and the poor woman he has ended up with has not seen the real him yet.

Either way, you dodged a bullet. Don’t waste your time on trying to figure out a bad ex, you will never get the answers you are after.

Post # 17
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

I only have one ex who got married after me. I know, through mutual friends, that he is just the same with her as he was with me. Dull, inert, lackadaisical and unmotivated. The funny part is, he always told me what type of girl he wanted to marry someday; a Marcia Brady type, younger than him. Both me and his wife are very far from Marcia. 

Oh, I thought of another. Get this: he married a woman (after we broke up) he had an affair with, while he was married to his first wife. Glad to be out of that one. She probably knows who he is, but she was always so in love with him, she doesn’t care.

My other horrible relationships were with guys who were divorced and swore never to get married again, and they never did. 

Post # 18
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure. 

Post # 19
Member
3492 posts
Sugar bee

I get where you are coming from but you will never know the answer and will drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

Post # 20
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

>>Needless to say, none of my exes have had a good relationship with another woman after me<<

Oh please don’t be so modest!

Post # 21
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

Guess I’m the weird one out here. I didn’t keep track of my exes, as they weren’t worth my time and effort to do so. We ended things, I moved on, and both our lives continued separate of each other. If we had stayed friendly, great, I’d know what was going on in their lives, but I moved out of state, went to different colleges, lived in completely different cities… I really couldn’t care less who they were dating or if they got married. And if they did, it still wouldn’t affect me. 

Post # 22
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I am pretty sure many of my ex-boyfriends might consider me not-marrying material because I suffer from BPD and used to be quite materialistic (among other terrible things).

Yet, here I am. Happily married, no longer materialistic, with controlled BPD and above those terrible things 🙂

Post # 23
Member
8380 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. And way too many women are terrible judges of character and put up with all forms of abuse. 

Add to that the fact that she is a different person than you. He may see or treat her differently. He may have made an effort to change or maybe he’s just older and more mature now. Or not. 

I think it’s human nature to be mildly curious that he got married, and to whom, but the rest is pointless speculation. 

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