Post # 1
Do you ever feel a twinge of sadness, or anything at all? Even if you had no interest in marrying them, or would ever want to be with them again, or even if you are in a happy and BETTER relationship now?
I just found out that an ex I am still friendly with is getting married to the woman he was with before me. He would always tell me that he didn’t believe in marriage and that he was over her. They were on again off again all the time for over 10 years, and I guess now they have decided to get married. He would always tell me about the bad things she did to him so I’ve never gotten a great mental image of her.
I don’t know why I even feel down about it. Maybe it’s hard admitting that he didn’t want to marry me? Anyone every gone through this?
Post # 3
yup. I think in my case at least, it’s really immature, cuz I’m kinda thinking “what makes HER so special?!” even if I have no interest in the guy!
Post # 4
Don’t feel bad about it. My ex got married and when I found out I had tears in my eyes. I have no idea why!
Post # 5
Ya sort of. I got married before my ex did (by like 2 months) and we’re all very good friends, but I’ll admit I had a moment of “hmm” and then moved on. His wife is amazing and if he hadn’t have scooped her up I think I would have stopped talking to him from sheer anger at his stupidity! LOL! I think it’s just sort of habit to think “Well why wasn’t I enough when we were together?!” regardless of how things turned out and whether or not you would have been a good team together. My ex and I would have been terrible married. It’s not to say that DH and I aren’t very much in love, etc etc, but I think as girls we always want to think we’re “the best” in anyone’s life 😉
I had a friend in high school I was really close to, and there was always a lot of tension but nothing ever happened. He had broken up with his GF when she cheated on him yet again. Later on they got back together, and married after university. I just saw on FB that they had a baby and I’m so bothered by it. I can’t let go of the anger I have for the way she treated him, even realizing that people change over the years. She was also really mean to me since I was so close with the guy, so I’m sure that’s a part of it.
Eyh, bygones. It’s human nature.
Post # 6
I think there’s always a feeling of “Why wasn’t I good enough, but SHE is?” I definitely get it from time to time. Like bakerella said, I think it’s human nature.
Post # 7
Yeah… I’ve felt that way for the guys who broke up with me. Its like… why didn’t you ever think of me for what.
@red_rose: I think the same thing… how is she better than me!
Post # 8
Having dealt with this the thought that went through my head was “Wow, there is someone out there as dumb as I was. Poor, silly, stupid girl. God bless her.”
Post # 9
When my first serious ex-boyfriend got married, I didn’t feel much of anything. Up until he got married we still talked every 3-4 months or so, but we’d grown apart so much (we were together when I was 15-19 or 20; he was 2 years older). He got married 2-3 years after we broke up.
I had a sort of destructive on-again, off-again semi-long distance relationship with a guy while I was in college. I regret a lot of that relationship- both how I treated him and how I allowed him to treat me. He got married two years ago and I still have sort of complicated feelings about it. I wonder if I was the bad guy, if he was, or if we were just a toxic combination. I really want to wish him the best, just for my own peace of mind, but I’m sort of bitter.
Post # 10
When my exhusband remarried, I was more bitter than anything else – granted… that wedding happened the DAY AFTER our divorce was finalized.
But I had an ex who was pretty immature and had told me often after he broke up with me that he really wished he could handle marriage because I had been the best thing to ever happen in his life. Naturally…. he dated another girl for about 3 months before getting engaged. By then I had realized I didn’t really want to be with him at all, but it still stopped me for a moment.
Post # 11
Yes and no. I think I had more trouble when my ex found someone new after me. We were dating for 3 years through college and I was the one who broke up with him. I guess I just thought that I would find a new boyfriend before he did and was a little disappointed that I didn’t. Not that I expected him to pine over me forever, but I was a little sad that the chapter of my life with him was officially closing for good.
When he got married to said girl, I was actually happy for him. At that point, I had found my DH and we were also engaged…we weren’t getting married until around 6 months later. So the actual marriage part didn’t bother me as much as when he found his wife did.
Post # 12
None of my exes have gotten married yet, although the first one to do so will be getting married next month. I can’t say I felt any kind of resentment or sadness about it, though. I am happy and would like all of my exes to be happy as well! (Except for one, fuck him.)
Post # 13
I get sick in stomach just thinking about my ex FI marrying the girl he rebounded from me with… Probably because we were almost to our wedding when it all came crashing down and I was planning everything alone. Also because he still talked to me everynight and met up with me a few times after they started dating to see if we could work things out or not.
I know I’m better off now because he treated me horribly as he has every girl he’s been with, cheating/ lying, ect. I also feel bad for his current girlfriend because he does the same thing to her… I shouldn’t feel bad for their doomed relationship because they tried to break up my FI and I creating fake facebook accounts and yahoo emails to stalk me and tell me my FI is a liar and cheating on me… They caused me a lot of stress and ruined the night we got engaged!
Even with all of that I know I’ll be sad when he gets married.
Post # 14
When my ex got married I was single and there was a part of me that felt weird about it, but now I dont care
Post # 15
Oh and my son’s father was engaged to be married a year ago and he ended up getting paralyzed and his FI started cheating on him. I don’t think I would have been sad had they gotten married I just wasn’t a fan of her with my son since his dad needed help with a lot of things. I feel bad for him now more than anything because he’s in a wheel chair due to the fact that he tried to save HER life and ended up getting hurt and she decided that made him unworthy of her? Some people.
Post # 16
@ohheavenlyday: I had to chuckle at the fuck him 🙂