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I think it depends on the situation. I'm married now but sometimes if my parents give a gift to someone like my grandparents, they still sign the card with my name on it. I'm fine with it. But for someone between 35 and 45... I think its time to buy your own gift for a wedding.
I had a couple of families do this but I think they all put money into the gift or card so I didn't find it odd. For example if there were 2 parents and 3 grown children and I probably received $500 (100 from each). I guess to each their own.
That happened to me too with two sets of cousins :) I personally think every 'group' who got their own invitation should send an individual gift. Like husband/wife, single&date, or if you addressed it to a 4 person family, then from all 4 of them.
I had one group of 3 adult cousins, all older than me and all single but brought dates all go in on one small gift worth under $100. Then my 3 younger but adult cousins all went in on a $10 ceramic ring holder.
That seems a bit odd to me. I can understand if the "child" in question is 20 years old and in college, but once they are an independent adult (established own household, no longer a dependent on parent's taxes), then I think it's time.
Depends what the gift is. I do not think it is odd if two friends were to go in on an expensive gift. I also would not think it odd if family members went in on an expensive gift. It may be a bit unusual if the gift was the pricerange that one person would normally bring. But, to me, I was more concerned about people celebrating with me than receiving presents so I let these things pass.
I think it makes a difference whether the child makes a contribution to the gift or not. I'm 21, live on my own, have a stable job, etc. and I went in on a gift with my mom for a gift for my cousin's bridal shower. We wanted to get her something that was out of either of our price ranges individually, so we went halves and bought it together. I don't think that's wrong, but I would think it's strange just to sign my name on a card for a gift that someone else bought.
I definitely think they are way beyond the point of that they should have given you seperate gift! They are clearly adults and were invited seperate from thier parents therefore should have given seperate gifts. My brother and I have done this for family wedding for years (and we are in our 20s).
@MissBoPeep: Agreed. I don't think that is any different than if two of your aunts decided to go together on a gift. But I think that once you have your own household, you are too old for Mommy to sign your name to a card/gift that you had no part in purchasing.
I think it's beyond the point after you are gainfully employed. Whether that's at 17 or 24 & beyond, it's your responsibilty now. On the other hand, my aunt & her ex husband went in on an expensive (over $500) gift together, I find that acceptable.
My siblings and I actually started going in on gifts when we got older, mostly because they became more elaborate and expensive. I used to contribute to wedding gifts if I didn't know the person too well or if it was very expensive, but my parents would ask me if I was interested in doing so or if I wanted to give on my own. Regardless, no one ever signed my name for me.
I agree with some and it depends on the gift, I would not be offened if it was say a kitchenaide mixer because that is a big present on your own but if it was say a cookbook then it seems like they are just being lazy.
For me personally it is when you move out!
Different household, different invitation, different GIFT!
(Unless of course they chipped in to get a larger gift!)
I still sometimes went in with my parents on gifts while I was in college if it was a gift for a family member or family friend. I usually didn't get my own separate invite while I was in college either, so I figured this was fair. For my own friends of course I gave my own gift.
It really depends, but I do agree at 35 you should be able to afford your own gift. Do they live together, are they married? Did you send one invite for the entire family? My parents received two wedding invites that said to the ____ Family. We all decided to put money in a card and sign it from the ____ Family.
it doesn't strike me as odd at all. my aunt and uncle have 3 kids who are all around 40-45, one of whom just got married, and we got a joint present from all of them. granted it was a larger gift than "normal..." but yeah. i haven't given any gifts on my own for family/family-friend events either. my parents just get a bigger gift and sign it for me, my hubby, my bro and sil.
Just to put the gift amount in perspective, when my cousin from that family got married 12 years ago, my brothers and I were in highschool. My parents gave a gift from our family and it was significantly more than the gift we received. My Aunt could have just called my cousin and asked "how much did Aunt CanAmBride give you for your wedding?" and matched that amount, but they didn't even do that.
Also, all of them are independently financially secure. If there was any extenuating circumstances, I wouldn't even be thinking about it.
In my family you're never too old. My brother and I are both married, and my parents still give presents for us. My dad's rule is that when we make more money then him (which he knows won't ever happen due to our career choice), we can pay for things like that. I'm not going to argue.
When you have a full time job, (ie. are completely out of school), that is when you should give your own gifts. You're an adult and can afford something on your own.
The exception to this is if the gift is very large/expensive and it makes sense that a few people went in on it together, (like a Dyson Vacuum or a piece of furniture).
I think it is when you move out. However, if the family wanted to get one large gift and all chipped in, that might be a different story. If they gave money, then they should each get their own cards. It's not that difficult to pick up a card while at the grocery store. JMO.
For the most part I think if you receive your own invitation you should send a separate gift. But as other posters have mentioned, it's also okay to chip in to a larger gift with your parents.
We also received a few large gifts from families consisting of grown children and adults that I suspected were entirely paid for by the parents, but that doesn't bother me, either. I know a lot of families like artbee's where the parents make more than their grown children and like to fund extra expenses.
I would say they definately should have brought their own gifts. Sometimes it does depend on the gift. Was the gift received a very large gift, or aunt and uncle could have just given it on thier own?
Maybe this is a double standard, but I think all guests over 18 should receive their own invitation. That being said, I do not expect a separate gift from any "children" who are in college. Once you move out, have your own home and your own career, then you buy your own gift.
Anybody on their own or is out of college should give their own gift (my opinion, of course). I think it's odd for a bunch of adults in a family to go in on a gift. My family never does this. We choose and give our own gifts.
My family goes with this theory. If you invite the adults children separately then the kids buy gifts on their own... if you combined the invitation... then the gift is from the family. I do think you need to realized that some adults may have a very limited budget that in this economy makes it difficult to give a pricey gift. (And just because you know they are employed does not mean that they are making a great deal of money. (At least for me... I have noticed that my salary has stayed the same, but my costs... groceries, gas, insurance, etc... have doubled or tripled... and yes... I'm looking for another job... but so is the rest of the country! )
I don't see how this is an etiquette thing.
People can give you any kind of gift any which way they want. Or, not give you a gift.
In my case, it has to do with the couple in question. My parents will still include myself and my siblings in the card (even though we're all grown) when they go to weddings for their friends' children--we may know the children as family friends, but it's more my parents' relationship with their parents.
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This is just a random etiquette question.
I have an Aunt and Uncle that have 4 grown children (my first cousins). All of them are between the ages of 35-45 and are professionals. One is married with two children and one is married with no children. The other two are single. They all came to my wedding.
We just received a gift from my Aunt and Uncle and the card was signed the "The ______ Family". I did not receive anything from any of my cousins (not even a card).
Does this strike anyone else as odd? They are all adults with their own families. At what point are you too old to go in on a family gift?