(Closed) When Budget Bride Syndrome Gets Out of Hand…

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It is natural, I feel the pressure someitmes too but I know that no matter what I am happy with my day and what I put together and won’t let what others think get to me.

Post # 4
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Pfft to them. That’s all I have to say. It’s your wedding, it’s your money, it’s your dress.

Unfortunately, when it comes to weddings, everyone has an idea of what “should” or “shouldn’t” be done. I know it’s hard but screw your friends scoffing. You did what was right by you.

There is a ton of pressure right now for girls to have these amazing Amy Atlas type weddings with dessert tables and luxurious linens and overpriced DJs and personalized monograms on the dance floor. For as much destain as I have for the wedding industry right now, I’ve felt it too and I can 100% guarantee that just about every other bride has felt it too. Fear not! You are not alone.

I think, at this point, you need to sit down and figure out what’s right by you. If you are paying for it and you are hosting it, figure out what YOU want. What are the things that you absolutely can’t live without at your wedding? A dinner? A dance floor? A cake?

And what are the things that you feel like you can skimp on. A DJ? A FULL dinner? Maybe you can just do an hor d’oerve wedding?

It sounds like you really really like that first venue and if it saves you money? Great!

There are caterers out there that provide the full table/linens/flatware/switching from ceremony to reception package out there including set-up, tear-down and disposal for a nominal fee ($75 vs. DIY). All you have to do is ask. 

I totally udnerstand the desire not to completely DIY your own wedding. Hell, I wouldn’t do it. I hope it all works out for you in the end. Best of luck! 

Post # 6
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! You are supposed to have a life. You are supposed to be able to enjoy this process. I can understand you wanting to do this within you budget. But unless your fiance is willing to take on a much bigger share of this planning process then he needs to be supportive of your decision to go with a easier alternative. He can make tisue paper pom-poms if that’s what he’s got his heart set on. All you really need is to get married to the person you love. The rest is fluff.

Post # 9
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AverageBessyJ:  It happens to the best of us! Just don’t let it take you over! It’s all a matter of priorities. And I think you sanity should be high on the list!

Post # 10
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I feel you sister!  We are paying for everything.  And it adds up fast.  We were in a similar situation.  Initially, we picked a cheap venue that let us self cater, bring our own alcohol, etc.  It was nice, but needed a lot of dressing up.  Which, is probably due more to my personal aesthetic needs, rather than actual look.  But when everyone we know has shelled out four to six times more than we can spend, I’d like it to look a bit nicer than the cash we are throwing out.  Not that we should be competing, but I don’t want to look like a cheap-o. Then I found a nice outside space at a local art center.  It is pricey, but requires no decor.  It also comes with a staff coordinator.  And they have all the chairs and tables and such.  And they work with a ton of caterers, one of which cut us a deal if we did a similar menu to an event they were doing the day before.

Once, I tallied it all up – it was going to be only 400-500 bucks cheaper doing it all ourselves, but I was going to spend my entire wedding day sweating, running around and wigging out.  Not to mention, while my family and friends are great – and I’m sure would do all they could to help – at what expense?  I want people to enjoy their time they will be with us during our wedding weekend – not be hanging decorations or moving tables and chairs. 

I’m sure our wedding could be prettier or more exotic looking.  However, I ultimately decided to stop trying to make every penny stretch into ten and be happy with simplicity in order to stock up on wedding day sanity.  Not to mention, ten years from now, I probably won’t care if we had the most impressive centerpieces or fabulous signature cocktail, because really, I just want to marry the dude I love and have a fun night with the other people we love. And I feel so much lighter, knowing I no longer need to fold a thousand origami flowers.

If you’re feeling like doing it all yourself is becoming too much – bail NOW!  It will only pile up more as you get closer to your date.  Let someone else do the busy work and sit back and relax a bit.  It will be the best extra 300 bucks you ever spend. And I get money is tight…sell some stuff from around the house on EBAY or have a garage sale.  Babysit for coworkers.  The money can be found with a little non DIY work.

Good luck!  Hang in there!

Post # 12
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@AverageBessyJ:  I can relate to much of what you express and it sounds like you’re doing a great job with what you have to work with. Hang in there! 

Post # 13
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Girl, yes. I have a slightly larger budget but also a larger guest list. But with zero support or help from family, I felt as though I had to pick a place that was more all inclusive, meanwhile hearing how expensive it is.  I’m still stressing over set up and tear down, but my budget is about played out. Everyone keeps telling me things I need, but I have a full time job and too many DIYs and not enough cash to make magic happen.   Paying for my $1280 dress made me cry, but I had looked and looked and LOOKED online for a used one. My FI is helping some, paying for the honeymoon, the DJ, and the photographer. So bless him. 

All this to say, you’re in good company 🙂

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