When calling guests who haven't RSVP'd?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8936 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

“I haven’t gotten your RSVP back and we need a headcount for (venue, caterer, cake, whatever) so I need to know how many will be attending.”

Post # 4
7169 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i didn’t have anyone to call, but i would have said.

we have not received your response card back yet and wanted to know if you will be celebrating with us or not.

Post # 5
349 posts
Helper bee

We’ll be facing this same dilemma next month, so I’m tagging to follow – thanks for this very timely post!

Post # 6
1228 posts
Bumble bee


“Hi there.  We were just finalizing the numbers for our wedding and I noticed we hadn’t heard from you, so I  just wanted to double check that you received our invitation”

Post # 7
9565 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hey. How’s it going? We’re getting close to wedding date and I was wondering if you’re doing to be able to attend…We’re getting to the point where we need to send final numbers to the caterers.”

Post # 8
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

“Hi, how are you? I’m calling to make sure you got our wedding invitation, since we haven’t receive an RSVP from you. We are finalizing some details and want to make sure we have enough food for everyone. Are you able to come?” And then if they say no, just politely tell that that it’s ok and you understand, but that you were just checking so that everyone would have a seat and a meal.

Post # 9
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

ugh Im only waiting on 3 people and I am thankful my venue does not need a head count at all so Im going to wait until a week out when I need to do my seating chart. Hopefully these FRIENDS (lol) dont force me to call at all!

Post # 10
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsGatito:  We said, “Hey! How’s it going? I’m sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if you were planning on attending the reception. We need a final headcount, so we are just trying to ake sure we got everyone!”

Post # 11
34 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

We used similar wording to @SeaSalt – after a rather heated exchange with the MOH because we asked before the invitation’s reply-by date :-/ we wanted to be extra polite. We had about 10% of RSVPs arrive on the reply-by date and 1% of RSVPs showed up a week late.

If I had to do it again, I’d use a reply-by date of 1 week after I mailed the invitations, not 1 month. The waiting was agony!

Post # 12
8906 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I pretty much said “Hey, I didn’t receive an RSVP from you.  Please let me know whether or not you’ll be able to make it”

Post # 14
102 posts
Blushing bee

We have about 5 who have not responded and frankly we are slightly over our limit as is. They are all on grooms side. I want FMIL to call about a week out and if they say oh yes we are coming tell them it’s too late. Is that too horribly rude??

Post # 15
16 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Fox Hills Golf Club & Banquet Center

I normally started out with, “Just wanted to see if you recieved your invitation to our wedding.” It didn’t sound as harsh as, “Are you coming to the wedding?” (IMO) and they normally got the hint.

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