When can/should I send out my invitations? (Destination)Need opinions please.

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We were married on mid-October and made our RSVP date a full 8 weeks before.  The invites went out a month before that — that was two weeks later than I wanted but oh well.  We  needed to know as early as possible how many guests we’d have for logistical purposes.  I also read up on it, and ultimately decided to do whatever worked best for us.  For the folks that were going to come, we wanted them to book everything early to keep down their expenses, and it didn’t matter when the deadline was for the folks that weren’t.  So, I suggest sending invites out — particularly if they contain hotel accomodation/wedding weekend event information that needs to be disseminated — early.  Also, we didn’t have a backup list — just invited everyone.  Being a destination wedding, we welcomed and were grateful for every guest that cared for us enough to make the trek across the country to celebrate with us.         

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

For a destination wedding I would say send them 3 months out, not much earlier, especially since you send STDs 

Post # 6
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@DisneyKb:  This is a good question. My FI and I are sending out save the dates next week, and are building a wedding website with a RSVP section on it. Because of this, we thought actual invites were a waste since the majority of our guests will have to have their travel/accomodations booked a few months before the wedding (we’re going through a travel agent so there are certain stipulations for booking blocked-off rooms).

Should I send out invites? I may need to start a new thread for others’ advice.

Post # 7
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@mdcmod:  I’m in your same situation. I’m still sending invitations, though it’s true that my overseas guests are already booking flights. I suppose I’m doing it to be polite? I never really thought about them being pointless. Hmmmm

Post # 8
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@prahajess:  I definitely understand the politeness! I think our plan is on the save the dates, towards the bottom put “Please visit website for RSVP and travel info”, and then on our website make it clear that we’re not sending out invites? Maybe I should send out invites, but I just don’t understand the point?

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@DisneyKb:  since you’re potentially doing a 2nd round of invites, you’ll want to give those guests enough time to budget and make travel plans.  we’re also doing this and figured out our timeline by working backwards-

since our potential 2nd round of guests won’t get a save the date, we thought they’d need at least 3 months’ notice to make plans for our wedding.  So they will get invites 3 mos out at the latest.  their rsvp deadline will be 2 months out (because we need to tell venue at 1 month out and room blocks close).  You could set their rsvp deadline at 1 month out if your timeline is more flexible.

in order to know whether we can invite 2nd round guests by 3 mos out, we’re sending 1st round of invites about 5 months out and setting rsvp deadline of 4 mos out.  That way we still have a full month to track down no’s (because no’s are more likely to miss the rsvp deadline).  You could also send 1st round invites out at 4-4.5  mos out with their rsvps due 3.5 mos out if that’s better for you. 

I’ve seen almost nothing online about timeline for a destination wedding with a B-list besides that giving b-listers only 1 or 2 mos notice is usually nowhere near enough and is pretty rude obvious.  

You can tweak the timeline however suits your planning needs and your guests’ preferences.  Most of our guests told us they wanted the invites and info earlier rather than later and that 5-6 mos out for a wedding requiring budgeting, airfare, hotel rooms, and vacation time worked well. None of our guests said this timing is too early.

 

Post # 11
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mdcmod:  Yes, you should send out invites.  Guests do not have to rsvp until they get invitations (save the dates don’t count) with an rsvp deadline.  

we sent save the dates out 11 months before our wedding and included travel and accommodations info with the save the dates and on our website. We let ppl rsvp starting from the save the dates if they wanted to.

A bunch of our guests were clear that they don’t rsvp or make travel plans until after they receive an invite and often after the rsvp deadline.  So you’d miss out on getting rsvps from all of those ppl if you never give them invites

sending save the dates and letting ppl rsvp online early can be a good way to get early rsvps (nearly 50% of our guests rsvpd by 5 months before the wedding and before invites had been mailed), but save the dates and online rsvps aren’t a replacement for an invite- it just tells ppl to save the date and wait for the real invite (whether mailed or emailed).  so if you don’t send your guests invitations, many will wonder if they’re invited, etc.

Post # 13
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

Just as a heads up – a friend is planning a destination wedding and sent out STD’s through the specialty destination wedding website.  It wasn’t clear that guests were required to book by X date to get included in the wedding block and get the reduced rate.  The couple then were freaking out because some VIP’s had just looked at the STD and done nothing (the date to book was 6 months before the actual wedding).  They then had to follow up with some people via email because invites took longer than anticipated to get organized and are now basically redundant as many people have already RSVP’ed.

I guess my advice would be to send out invites in advance of whatever date they need to book by to get your group rate/ wedding block.  Whether that’s 6 months or 2 I don’t know if it matters.  

Post # 14
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Caddyshack:  You’re so right- we included the hotel block deadline on our save the dates and on website.  Our invites are going out before the hotel block expires (some ppl told us they wouldn’t reserve anything w/o invite- it’s just how their brains operate).

 For us, it was fine getting rsvps before the invites went out- we just included separate inserts in the invites depending on whether ppl had rsvpd already or not that said something like –

“Thank you.  We have received your RSVP.  Please let us know of any changes by [normal rsvp deadline] at [our website].  We will be sending you a wedding information packet shortly.”

OR

“Kindly respond by [normal rsvp deadline] at [our website].” 

Post # 16
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Following. My wedding is 11.14, but our room blocks close 9.12. I have no idea when to send out invites (save the dates went out last week). I’m thinking July/August.

Post # 17
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

I am having a DW in December.  We sent out STDs over a year in advance, and people had 3 months to pay their deposits of $200 to reserve the good group rates.  Since I know the resort rates will jump significantly after our deposit deadline, I’m not expecting anyone who didn’t pay them to attend.

Since I already know who is serious about coming, I’m wondering if I should send invitations or not.  I’m considering just sending them to family, as lots of our friends aren’t going to keep something like that as a memento, and I already know they’re coming.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors