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If your engagement ring is a trinket, and the wedding one the one you care about, then why would you only be wearing your wedding ring and not your engagement ring for fear that it be ruined, instead of leaving the wedding ring off if you're in a situation where you you have to about your rings?
@MerryWidow: Pushy salespeople are the worst. They should listen instead of constantly talking over the customer. They act like they are making the purchase for you or something. It's supposed to be your choice. I don't blame you for being annoyed.
@MerryWidow: are you my long lost twin?
I couldnt agree more. I wanted a plain filigree/etched band with no diamonds and jewelers looked at me cockeyed when I told them no diamonds. I tried on a few with diamonds, and they're pretty rings, but to me, not a wedding ring. I love my diamond e ring and sometimes I'll wear a band and sometimes I'll wear both. Everyone wants different things I guess were a small minority.
I understand what you mean. I have a friend who was recently married and opted for 2 wedding bands and no ering. In fact, her ering was one of the wedding bands and she added a thin band to it. If they can't respect that you don't want to make your ering the biggest consideration in choosing a wedding band then I would definitely find another place to buy from.
We got our etched titanium bands from a store I found online. I mostly didn't bother with local stores, because they kept pushing me towards gold and diamonds. I have no problem with people who like them, but I dislike both and a typical jeweler could not seem to hear that. It was sort of like if I'd gone to a restaurant and said, "I don't like chicken, so I want fish." and was continually told, "Chicken is our most popular dish! You will love it! Everyone else here is having it! Look at this lovely listing of chicken dishes!"
I actually only have one ring....call it engagement, wedding...whatever. He proposed with one and I decided I liked the look of it on its own. Lots of people have asked to see the wedding band and I just say - you're looking at it! Bottom line is if you want a simple wedding band, go for it! People - do whatever the heck you please! :)
@pinkshoes: Sorry, I should explain. I want a plain metal band so I can wear it everyday without worrying about losing stones, or it being thin and fragile. I don't mean scratches from wear and tear as much as dirt (gardening, changing a flat tire, etc). I work with children, so I'm looking forward to a band that is relatively maintenance-free. Hope that makes more sense! 
Everyone else, I'm glad I'm not alone!! My first wedding band was two-tone gold and I wore it everyday until it got ruined and I couldn't anymore. I gardened in it, went to places I was afraid of wearing my diamonds, it got dirty and scratches (which didn't bother me, because they came from me living my life while married) it only left my finger for showers (I hate moisture under my rings) and once to have it re-dipped in rhodium and I loved it for that reason! After it was ruined I switched to a diamond band that I thought was beautiful (still do) but it was at the jewelers more than once for loose stones, etc. that I'd never have worried about before.
@MASPA: Your wedding band makes me swoon...seriously!! I think diamonds bands are beautiful, and I wouldn't mind having one for an anniversary to stack with my wedding band on special occasions...but too high maintenance for my everyday wear
Wow you are preachin to the choir here! The same thing happened to me. I felt like I was trying to convince the saleslady that it was okay for her to let me try on a plain band! It was really awkward. So I left and went to another store where I purchased my band from - just picked it up last week!
Did you go to a chain store or a local one? I find the chain stores can sometimes be pushy! My local store is amazing! As soon as I walked in they asked me what I was looking for. I said a yellow gold band she said no diamonds or stones right? I said yes & that is exactly what she showed me!
I hate that the sales lady was trying to get you to go for something else. :/ I wouldn't go back there as you stated & just go else where, where they will respect your wishes!
@MerryWidow: aahhh! gotcha! Time to find a new store and salesperson that will actually listen to their customer! Good luck finding your perfect everyday band!
@Mrs.Estep: That was the frustrating part, it was a local place! I mean, they have several locations but they're all around here, DH1 went to school with the owners son (and said he was a (&)@$#&*...perhaps I should have listened, haha)! On the flip side, I've been to chain jewelers in the past who were so friendly, so I think it all depends on the people??
There's another local place I go to sometimes, and friends of mine dealt with them for their rings (also palladium) so they're my next stop...just didn't feel like making the 20 minute drive today. That'll teach me!
@MerryWidow: This is so true also! It really does depend on the people! This is one of the only local places I have been to in a while. & I have been to only a few chains also. I am sure if I went to more than a few of each it would be different for me, too!
The next place on your list sounds like a great place let us know how it goes!
yeah, get yourself away from that snobby jewelry store. maybe look for a different shop that sells handmade rings? or if it is truly a very plain band that you seek, you could probably find a really good deal online.
Usually that pushiness has to do with the higher commission that comes with a diamond purchase. This woman did a really dumb thing by pushing you towards what you DIDN'T want. In service jobs you do what the customer wants.
I totally agree w/you, btw! I've seen more than one post by bees who'd gone to jewelery stores and the salespeople pretty much refused to show them plain bands. I don't get why wanting a plain band would be such a weird, foreign concept. It's also tougher and more versatile.
I remember looking at engagement rings and the woman at the jewlery store telling me I better pick out a bigger stone, because that .5 carat was just not enough. (this was from my first marraige). Really? And what makes you think that I care about your opinion? I would never buy anything from her!!! I am a firm believer in the philosophy of "to each his/her own". If she wanted to make a sale, she should have been smart and abided by what you were asking.
I actaully think plain wedding bands seems a lot more "without a doubt married" in my eyes. Which is why I like bands worn alone. I love my e-ring but I just adore the way my band looks alone.
Jewelry stores vary greatly in their customer service and selection. I've heard from some of my friends that at some stores they were pressured to buy more expensive rings and that the wedding ring selection was less than stellar. My own experience was I saw the ring of my dreams in the case, we asked to see it, the woman was 100% supportive of the idea of an emerald engagement ring and was happy to show me plain yellow gold bands like I wanted so I could see how they fit with my engagement ring. It was a small local store, but they had good selection and were lovely to us. When it's time to buy our simple gold wedding bands, we'll be going back to the same store, I was very happy with them.
@MerryWidow: I TOTALLY agree! Every time I went wedding band shopping, the sales people gave me the tiniest bands ever and said "the POP is supposed to come from your engagement ring"...uhh, no. If I wanted that to POP I would wear it by itself and not get a wedding band. I debated for a long time between a plain 4mm band and a channel set 4mm band...ended up with the channel set because I do like some extra sparkle, haha, but it's wider than my e-ring and stands out enough for me.
Unfortunately the wedding band to the ring I want is one of those where you slip the engagement ring in between two soldered bands and it looks like you have on three rings. So I won't have the option of wearing my band alone :( Kinda sad about that but I love the set TOO much. I wonder if I'll regret it. I could wear the engagement ring alone I guess, but I wouldn't want people to thing I'm engaged when I get married. May have to buy myself and extra plain band for whenever I want to wear something simple.
I'd rather wear a wedding band with no engagement ring than the other way around any day!
I love that my wedding band is plain solid yellow gold! I didn't want a thin diamond band either but I went the custom route and the smith made exactly what I wanted. There are still like- minded people like us out there, even tho we seem to be the minority. Good luck finding exactly what you want!
I love my engagement ring very much, but when it comes to my wedding band I just want it to be plain, simple, white gold with a small message etched inside that makes it even more special to me.
My jeweller is making it to match my engagement ring (just a round solitaire... I really am traditional!) but it will also be a beautiful ring by itself.
Glad to hear it's not just me that got frustrated being told I needed diamonds to make it special!
my band is a simple, 2mm white gold band, no adornments. I like that it matches my guy's ring exactly.
I think that sales people should cater to whatever YOUR priorities happen to be. But, I don't think that its fair to assume its wrong/shallow to value your engagement ring more. I love both of my rings, but my engagement ring means more to me. My husband picked it out, without my help. He spent weeks looking for just the right ring. He saved and sacrificed for months to buy it for me. When he gave it to me, he made us family. In his opinion (which I have come to agree with), once he gave me that ring-- that was it. The commitment was made. Our wedding was great but it was kind of the "official" aspect of what we'd already done. And my wedding band was something I picked out. So yes, I do love it because it is beautiful and because it shows the world that I'm married. But if forced to choose, I love my engagement ring more because it was the gift from my husband that made us a family.
I so understand where you are coming from! I actually am looking at diamond wedding bands but I choose a simpler engagement ring because I want the focus to be on my wedding band - that is the one that will be blessed and that I will wear every day for the rest of my life!
@CorgiTales: I'm sorry you think I meant it's wrong to value your engagement ring (I certainly never meant that it's shallow!), that's absolutely not what I meant. I love my ring too, but to me the wedding band is more important. It doesn't mean anyone else should feel this way, it's just how I feel. What I think is wrong is that a saleswoman repeatedly didn't listen to what I wanted and assumed (repeatedly) that I'd want a smaller / thinner / dainty wedding band so as not to take away from my engagement ring. I want a substantial wedding band that will never be mistaken for anything else, and if I had that in diamonds I would constantly worry that they would be wrecked or fall out. I also don't personally care for the look of my ring with a diamond band, but I love to see other bees who have matching sets! I think it's great that you love your engagement ring because of the time and thought your FI put into it, that's how you're supposed to feel about it. I was just voicing my own opinion about my experience with my own ring. And venting about pushy salespeople.
I say if the store you're shopping in is giving you hassles you definately should not shop with them and buy because they will continue to hassle you later on about your choices (say if your ring needs work later).
Actually, what we did (at first) was ordered my husbands band then ordered the same band but in 3mm. He had a 6mm and I had two 3mm bands with my center stone on one. No more diamonds than just the center stone.
ugh. i know how you feel. i don't want a wedding band that will blend in with my ering, i want it to be obvious, if that makes sense. i'm thinking about a plain 3 or 4mm band. or maybe not. i don't know. i keep changing my mind. BUT it will be something substantial and probably without stones, although i'm not sure on that right now. those tiny diamond bands are lovely, but not for me. on a side note, they scare me a bit, lol. i'm a total klutz, always banging my hands on stuff. those bands are so thin, i'd be terrified of warping/bending it by banging my hand on something and losing half the stones in it, lol.
I feel the same way.
I have very small hands - about the size of your average 8 year olds. When I was married before I wore a very thin white gold band. I didn't have an engagement ring - that is a story in itself, my ex considered them a 'unnecessary expense' - but because of the size of my fingers I would have found wearing two rings very uncomfortable.
When I get married this time, I want a white gold band, maybe engraved, but no wider than 3mm. My ideal would be this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/64487348/antique-ring
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I would like to preface this post by stating it is in NO way saying anything against those of you who wear both your wedding and engagement rings all the time. I plan to wear mine together most of the time, but there will be times I'll only be wearing my band so the engagement ring doesn't get ruined. I went looking for wedding rings today, not thinking I'd find anything but to get an idea of what styles / widths I like on my finger. One woman at a local shop kept blatantly lying to me about styles of rings (saying something I've already seen was impossible) and kept steering me towards tiny, thin bands with diamonds, even though I'd already said I don't want diamonds in my wedding ring. I've tried on my engagement ring with diamond bands, I don't like them. I want something that can be worn alone, and isn't so thin and delicate I'll be afraid to wear it all the time. Apparently this store only carries diamond bands for ladies, so I had to try on men's wedding bands...which was no help. And everytime she showed me a diamond ring, she kept saying things like 'Well, you want it to accent your engagement ring' or 'You really want the focus to be on your engagement ring, not your wedding band'. Now, I realize I may be in the minority over here, but I do want the focus on my wedding ring. I want people to see my finger and know, beyond a doubt, that I am married and not engaged which is why I don't want the matching band to my ring, which is such a perfect match they look like one ring when put together. I understand some women don't agree with me, but this saleswoman should not have repeatedly taken my wishes and tried to change my mind. My engagement ring is a trinket, the wedding ring that he slips on my finger the day I become his wife is what I care about. I was in the store for 10 minutes and can say without a doubt that I will never be back. Why doesn't anyone get the fact that some women still do want 'plain' metal wedding rings?
And, a disclaimer to avoid confusion, it has nothing to do with the fact that my engagement ring is a CZ. My first engagement ring was a beautiful diamond and I felt the same way...the sales people just weren't as rude or pushy about it.