When did you and your SO start giving gifts as a couple?

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: When do you gift as a couple and in what circumstances?
    Gift together once married : (13 votes)
    10 %
    Gift together once engaged : (12 votes)
    9 %
    Gift together while living together and dating : (26 votes)
    20 %
    Gift together while living separately and dating : (13 votes)
    10 %
    Gift separately always : (0 votes)
    Gift together for mutual friends : (21 votes)
    16 %
    Gift together for immediate family (parents and siblings) : (22 votes)
    17 %
    Gift together for extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) : (16 votes)
    12 %
    Gift together for non-mutual friends : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    3202 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    We give all of our gifts as a unit, except for instances where there’s a name drawing (something both his and my families do). Pretty much every single couple in my family gifts together–I can’t imagine getting a gift from my grandma, and then a different gift from my grandpa, you know?

    We do occasionally give a gift that’s like, “Oh, that’s from Mr. Sweet specifically!” if it’s a funny/weird gift.

    We started when we started spending the holidays together rather than going back to our own families–so after we moved in together.

    Post # 4
    8678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When I moved in, everything became “from us.”

    Post # 5
    6958 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @HonoraryNeronce we started dating In September so obviously that Christmas we gave separate gifts. I basically moved in around that time. I think our first couple gift was my cousin’s birthday (SO actually did the shoping for it!) And that was in march I believe. So after about six months. 

    Post # 6
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @HonoraryNerd:  My husband & I, while dating, moved in together within a month of dating (woah, sounds a lot more cray that it really was since it was sort of a gradual thing lol). We started dating in early october & gave joint gifts for our first christmas together.

    We already knew we would get married & 3yrs later, we did 🙂

    Everbody else always knew too..

    Post # 7
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    We lived together for just over a year before we were engaged, and then it was about another year before we were married. In that time, we always gave gifts separately.

    To be honest, while I realize that his parents and family were just trying to be nice, it became very uncomfortable when I would get birthday and Christmas gifts from his parents, his grandparents, etc., while we were dating and living together.

    It put a lot of undue pressure on ME to get them gifts in return. I was stupid and never really addressed the issue with my now-husband, as I worried his family would think that I was just being “cheap” if my name was tacked onto the gifts that he gave them.

    The most annoying part, though, was giving gifts separately, and they would never acknowledge mine. They would only thank him, as in, “We wanted to thank you guys…” But I’d never end up hearing about it. We really should’ve just started giving joint gifts when we moved in together, to be honest, no matter what I worried his family was thinking about me.


    Post # 8
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    My cousin started gifting with his (now) wife once they moved in together but were still dating. 


    SO and I have been together 5 years but we still give separately except when it comes to his niece and nephews.


    I imagine we will start giving gifts as a couple once we are married; possibly engaged. If we lived together we would probably give as a couple.


    His brother started gifting with his (now) wife almost as soon as they became “serious” which wasn’t too far in.


    Post # 9
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We gave joint gifts as a couple as soon as we were an actual couple (we were living together when we got together)


    To friends though we started giving gifts together when we were just friends – it was easier.


    (doesnt mean we both pick them out though)


    Post # 10
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We didn’t start gifting together until we got married. Even then it was difficult to remember to add the other person’s name to cards!

    Post # 11
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @HonoraryNerd:  We started right away. We became very comfortable with eachother right away, so neither of us had an issue. We started dating in September and that Christmas we gave gifts as a couple

    Post # 12
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We give gifts jointly or separately depending on who it is or what type of gift. Manly sport memorabilia to my dad? He’ll know that’s from my FH. My family is pretty relaxed and we don’t keep tabs on who gives what. We’re very generous with each other. 

    FH’s family is different and gifts are stratified fully. You even get called on to present your gifts to the recipient  at Xmas. We give joint gifts because it’s easier, and because he family has never purchased me a gift. Once we became a unit in their eyes, FH started to get crappy gifts addressed to the both of us (ie – tea towels from target when I tend to shop at Crate&Barrel/William Sonoma).

    Post # 13
    1535 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    about 1 year in I think- before living together. I’ve gotten gifts from “couples” even just a few months in tho


    Post # 14
    2247 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We’ve given gifts as a couple since we began living together, 5 months into our relationship (we have now been together for almost 3.5 years).

    Post # 15
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    We started giving gifts together when we got engaged.. For every birthday, holiday, and so on.. It just made more sense that the gifts came from ‘us’

    Post # 16
    9207 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    We started gifting together after we got engaged, although “apparently” (according to my sister who wants two presents from us) didn’t do that for her before. But I think we have for everybody since we were engaged, although may not have for immediate family last year. We are doing it now for everybody. We still live separately, but if we had been living together before we got engaged we would have started gifting together earlier.

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