Post # 1
The night I got engaged I called my best friend from high school and asked her to be a BM. when we met for lunch later that week I realized we are not at all that close any more, didnt have much to talk about. It was one of those friendships where we didnt see each other much but used to pick up where we left off…but lately we havent been able to “pick up” again.
I’ll still have her in the bridal party to represent that time in my life, and perhaps if I made an effort to work on our relationship, I’ll be glad I asked her by the time my wedding rolls around (june of 2013)
but the whole thing kind of soured me on asking bridesmaids. Its been two months since I got engaged, and I’ve worked out in my head who else I want, but I haven’t asked them yet. (actually, I did finally ask my MOH two days ago. with her I was 1000% sure, and I couldnt keep the secret anymore!) I’m afraid with the other two that something could happen to our relationship between now and the wedding since I’m still 15 months out. I wasnt expecting that HS friend and I would stop “clicking” , so who knows what other unexpected changes could happen?
I’m not sure quite who I’d ask if not the 2 other girls, but I just dont want to ask someone and regret it later, but I can tell my friends are starting to wonder if they are bridesmaids or not.
When should I ask?
Post # 3
I asked two months into the engagement because we were having a destination wedding and instead of choosing between all my friends, I picked my two cousins that I grew up with.
Choose people you can envision in your future and who have always been around in your past. =)
Post # 4
I had asked my future step son’s ditzy wife to be a BM just out of politeness but now they are getting divorced so she is out. I haven’t said anything to her about not being in the wedding bc I figured she would understand that she in no longer a BM but my aunt & mom say I need to directly tell her she isn’t a BM. She doesn’t call me or ask about the wedding so I think she gets it. I did regret asking her even before they split though. Be 100% sure bc you don’t want any drama stressing you on YOUR day!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
I asked pretty much right away but I’m in a bit of a unique situation — I only see one of the girls in my party on a regular basis as the rest live far away from me, so I’m not worried about not ‘clicking’ as the wedding gets closer because we’re not always in touch anyway. All of them are people that are related — cousin, sister — or have been good friends for so long that it doesn’t matter if I don’t talk to them for awhile. In fact, one of them I literally can’t remember the last time I saw her!
I’m of the ‘just show up and be pretty’ mentality and I’m not asking them to do anything beyond that so that also influenced my decision — they can’t really do anything to fail me between now and then unless they don’t buy a dress or don’t show up.
If you feel unsure, I’d wait a bit longer, though. It all depends on how much and what you expect from your ladies.
Post # 6
I definitely did the same thing- I jumped the gun asking a childhood friend to be my maid of honor and when it came down to it we really weren’t so close anymore and she ended up bowing out because she didn’t want to devote the time. Which was fine, one of the girls I asked to be my bridesmaid (a high school friend) and I became insanely close through wedding planning and she instantly covered the spot for me! I’d say wait till you’re absolutely positive you can handle what the people might throw at you!