When did you ask?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@chelseakayd:  I asked about a year out, with the exception with one friend who I kind of “reunited” with after my shower.  I asked her about 4 months prior.  I agree.  It can be very expensive so I think giving them a year is just the right amount of time for them to save.

Post # 4
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

A year in advance.

Post # 5
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I knew exactly who my bridal party was going to be…i asked my bridesmaids at my engagment part which was still 14 months before my wedding. LOL I was going to wait..but one, like you…I was just too excited to wait that long.  Also, I asked my sister, my cousin, my FSIL, my brothers gf (they’ve been together 6 years) and one of my friends from HS, so its all people I’ve known that I’m not worried we will “stop being friends” or something. 

Post # 7
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

One year. I asked mine too soon and had a huge issue to deal with later on. 

Post # 9
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@chelseakayd:  I didn’t ask; mine assumed (correctly) when I told them we were engaged; 3.5 years before the wedding.

I’ve been friends with one of them since we were 18 months old, 2 of them since we were 4, and the fourth since we were 16; ie the shortest friendship is 11 years. I’m incredibly close to all of them and that hasn’t changed in the run up to the wedding; with under a year to go now, they’re possibly more excited than I am lol. They’ve been fab, and I haven’t and won’t regret my decision for one second.

So IMO it totally depends on your relationship with them. I’ve seen a LOT of bride to bes regret their choice/s, which is sad; but I can’t help thinking they can never have been that close in the first place, because I just can’t imagine that happening with mine.

Post # 10
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I asked 18 months out, right after we got engaged.  Mine were pretty obvious, although I wish I had also asked one of my sisters-in-law to be a BM, but that didn’t occur to me until just a few months out.

Post # 11
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I asked within the first few months but I had no hesitation or doubt of who it would be, and 2 of the 3 were family members.

If you have any questions about who it will be then wait. But a year or so is good. Also – no matter how early you ask them people suck at planning and it’s likely that no one will start saving pennies for your wedding.

Post # 12
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@chelseakayd:  we asked after being engaged for 3 months, which gave our bridal party 15 months notice. Yes, this is more than enough time but 1. we were so excited, and 2. we wanted to give them enough time. Most of our bridal party already knew that they would be part of our big day (siblings, best friends, etc.), but obviously we wanted to officially ask them

Post # 13
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Have you and your fiancé agreed on a number? Do that first! I asked amost 2 years – we had a 26 month engagement. It was easy though, my sister was an automatic and then my longest friend since elementary school. 

Post # 14
3500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I’m with @Rubbs: – my issue was that I asked too few of my friends to be in my BP (thinking it was “necessary” to have even bridal parties) then by the time I wised up and realized that I should’ve picked BMs on friendships and not just on even numbers, I’d already discluded 3 of my best friends who really should have been in the party. It was too late to ask by the time I wised up in that it was already clear I asked my other bridesmaids. Dumb!

When it’s time to really make some solid decisions regarding your wedding (like picking bridesmaids dresses) that’s a good time to ask IMO! The earlier, the more drama. It’s amazing how friendships morph even over just a few months. 

Post # 15
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

7 months. But we were only engaged about 9 months. There are SO many stories of people making early decisions they realized later were terrible…just read all the BM drama posts, 90% of the time they are bc that. I think the longer you wait the better. What’s the rush? They just need time to buy a dress and possibly plan parties,which shouldn’t occur til a couple months before the wedding anyhow.

Post # 16
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If you are absolutely sure who is going to be in your wedding without a doubt why not do it at 18 months out?

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