Post # 1
Did you wait until you had a date and venue set? Or did you ask them right away?
I want to be sure my bridesmaids can come to my wedding, but the date is still WAY up in the are depending on venues (i.e. ranging from Sept 2011 to Sept 2012).
I’m going to look at venues this weekend. Should I ask them before hand without a set date so they can say if they have conflicts? Or should I tell them after scheduling the venue?
Post # 3
I asked them shortly after getting engaged but before the venue and date were set. I only had 2 BM’s and it was a really easy decision for me.
Post # 4
I just asked them, and then checked with them about the date once we had a venue/date in mind.
Post # 5
Thanks. Guess I have some phone calls to make this week before heading up the coast. One of my bridesmaids already knows, but I haven’t told the others yet. I’d really hate to pick a date they couldn’t make it.
Post # 6
I asked after – but in quick succession. We picked our venue/date about 2 weeks after getting engaged and asked our bridal party pretty quickly after that.
Post # 7
I asked them before, but we had it narrowed down to one of two cities and a range of about 4 months. With a year swing, I’d maybe figure that out first. You probably don’t want to ask someone 2 years in advance.
Post # 8
@CorgiTales: The year swing is only because there’s one venue that has 2 dates available. Sept 24th of 2011 and then not again until early september of 2012.
Ideally we want to be married in September of 2011 but if we have to wait for the “perfect” venue we will.
Post # 9
With your potential for the 2011 versus 2012 date still up in the air, I’d wait until you get that determined for sure. I’d feel a little odd being asked to be a BM over 2 years out.
We asked ours before but we had only a 10 month engagement and knew what month our wedding would be the second we got engaged. It was just a matter of which of the 3 weekends in July it would be (b/c I would not consider the holiday weekend).
Post # 10
I’m really shy, so I waited to an appropriate time to ask them. However, we set the date way before we ever started planning(months ahead of time)…..we weren’t planning yet, so I didn’t bother asking anyone. When I got deeper into planning and picked reception venue(i already had church date set) thats when I asked my friend. My friend was already actling like she wanted to be a BM though: she wanted to go dress shopping and wanted to know the details, etc…:)
Post # 11
I asked mine right away; before I had the venue or the date nailed down, but I did have an idea of the date and venue. We were going to get married on 9/10/11, but found out we could save a ton of money by having it off season, so we chose 3/31/11.
Post # 12
I asked my bridesmaids right after we got engaged. (But my bridesmaids are my sister and my fiance’s sister, so I *know* they’re going to be there!)
Post # 13
I found that it was a bit uncomfortable to talk about the different wedding venues appointments, ideas, etc, with my friends before I asked them to be in the wedding. I’m sure they were wondering if I was going to ask them. And I wanted them to know I wanted them to be a part of the wedding, so I made a point to ask them as soon as we figured out our wedding party,before we picked the date and venue. I say if you know who you are going to ask, then just ask them. If they are that important to you to be a part of the wedding, they should make themselves available on the date.
Post # 14
I’m with tritaratops on this one…. i wouldn’t want my friends waiting and wondering. I’d want them to be an active part of my excitement and planning. Mostly bc I value their opinions on things. When the wedding is still at least 6+ months away, that shoudl be plenty of time for them to get their schedule worked out to be a part of your big day.
Post # 15
I think most of my attendants asked me, rather than the other way around! I have my 4 closest friends and they all knew they were in. If I had waited it would just have been awkward. Plus, some of them were really helpful when it came down to choosing between two venues.
Post # 16
I asked my BM right away. By the time we had an engagement party we were taking a BM picture 😉 And we had a longer engagement (1.5 yrs).