Post # 1
There is a post out there know where alot of bees dont understand how you can be “waiting” if you dont have a timeline in place or have a ring bought.
For myself, I know Im “waiting” as I know I found the guy Im meant to spend my life with and have a family with. While we dont have a timeline, I have an inkling that SO believes that the proposal should be a surprise, so I dont expect us to discuss a timeline (he hinted at me the other night that “somethings are meant to be a surprisse”, and told a friend of mine a while back the same thng). And to be honest, I WANT it to be surprise. I couldnt imagine being part of the proposal process, except maybe giving him ideas on a ring.
So, since I dont know that he is going to propose on “June 23, 2013” for example, does it make my waiting experience any less than those bees that have a timeline??? Even though I dont have a ring bought, does it mean that I shouldnt be WAITING for us to start our life together? Do I not have the right to be anxious and frustrated and excited, just because I cant say what weekend SO will propose??
Post # 3
How frustrating yet exciting! I was a part of the process in the sense that one day, my now fiancé took me to a bunch of stores to look at rings. The actual proposal came about 8 months later.
All I can really say is, don’t be too frustrated with your guy if it doesn’t propose anytime soon. It sounds like neither of you have really discussed it, so you may not even be on the same page! My fiancé didn’t see himself getting engaged until he was 30, but he knew it was important to me and saw a future for us, so he took the plunge at 25. Maybe you should let him know that you would be open to the idea. Just because you talk about it doesn’t mean it will be any less of a surprise!
Best of luck!
Post # 4
We just started the talks in terms of type of wedding, and starting a family. But no, no “Im going to propose before xyz”.,.which again, I think is silly (no offense to anyone), so Im fine with it!!! So, yes, we are on the same page…but thanks for your well wishes
Post # 5
I haven’t a clue when my FI is going to properly propose. On the otherhand, we’ve kinda reached a mutual decision that we’re getting married and have tentatively set the date. It took some big events in our lives to do this, and beforehand I think I’d have been in a situation similar to you.
Now I’m always nagging him about ‘where’s my ring?’ and I think he’d prefer it if it was all down to him and a surprise. All I know is he’s promised me that before the end of the year we’ll be properly engaged 😀
As long as you want a surprise and he wants to surprise you I’d let things move naturally and you”ll get that ring when you least expect it!
Post # 6
I knew I was waiting the day he let slip that he’d been ring shopping! Then it was really real when I’d realized I was 97% sure he had the ring. Last night we were talking about his family and he told me that they talked about him marrying me. Now I’m in waiting overdrive. Then end.
Waiting comes in all forms, I think. Once the SO and you decide to spend your lives together I think that right there qualifies as waiting.
Post # 7
I did not consider myself waiting when I knew that i found the right guy because I knew the timing wasnt right yet. I considered myself waiting after we had graduated with our degrees, he went backpacking in Europe, and then told me he was ready to start thinking about an engagement. We then had a long discussion about timing, where we were at, what needed to be done with money and saving and he said (this was in May) that he would be prepared to propose within the year. Even then, i did not consider myself waiting until July came around and the first big oppertunity for him to propose came … I thought about it and then considered myself waiting.. not in a negative way, but waiting as in: we both know its coming and I am so excited just dont know when !
Post # 8
We’ve been together about 2.5 years. I knew I was waiting after being together for close to 2 years and meeting his family and spending my first Christmas with them all. For me it solidified how I felt about him and us together just felt so natural and like I belonged there. At that moment I knew I wanted to be with him forever. I’ve been waiting about 9 months.
Post # 9
SO asked my Dad for my hand. My Dad told me. That’s a pretty clear signal. The fact that it happened over a year ago is to do with our circumstances (I’ve just graduated, we’ve just moved to a different country, I don’t have a job, etc).
Post # 10
I started “waiting” when we discussed our goals for the next few years and one of those was marriage. While we’re on a visa style ticking time bomb, I have no idea when he will propose and have absolutely no idea when it will happen – only when it won’t! I’m guessing it will sometime after next April when his mother visits. He doesn’t have a timeline other than the one we set together for our life. And I am pretty sure he doesn’t have a ring, though he has asked lots of questions about my preferences.
He also talked to my parents, but I don’t think that’s necessary for waiting because lots of guys don’t do that till right before!
I agree with what LadySmurph said – once the two of you have decided to take that next step and discussed spending your lives together, that’s waiting! I don’t have a ring or a date, and I’m waiting. There shouldn’t be other conditions for it, you should know deep down if you are or not.
Post # 11
I had been lurking here for a while because I like pretty things and wedding drama, but I didn’t feel like I was actually ‘waiting’ until a sudden job transfer ruined my boyfriend’s surprise proposal plans. So now I know we’re going to be engaged soon.
Post # 12
@CaroBee: AGREED!!!! I just wanted to make sure I wasnt alone in this community, with so many people yesterday saying that real waiting happens when you have a timeline. As long as you are with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you are WAITING 🙂
Post # 13
I knew I was “waiting” when he sold his beloved car and bought something more family friendly (but still cool!). He took me to dinner after the sale and said “yeah, 3 years is long enough. Show me some designs you like” meaning ring designs!
Before that, we talked about marriage casually. I was officially waiting after we bought our house in April. He was waiting until my birthday to propose- 5 months later.
Post # 14
I considered myself waiting after he mentioned he wanted to know my ring size and after that we kept talking about getting married.
Post # 15
When my best friend got engaged and I realised right then how much I really really wanted this.
As much as I was happy for my friend, he saw how upset I got when I heard. Not because I was jealous, but because it just made it so obvious that we weren’t there yet.
That night when I found out she was going to have a 2 year engagement, he told me straight away that we’d be married before she was – not that it was a race or anything, but he wanted me to know what the timeline was in his mind.
We started talking more seriously about it around 2 months after that – but I believe that was ‘the moment’.
Post # 16
@lookingglass: i really like this story.. how he jumped in and confirmed that it would happen soon 🙂 good luck and im excited for a proposal story!