Post # 1
This just occurred to me because (like a normal girl) I was thinking about dates before the proposal. My FI is, uh, slightly new to the whole long term relationip thing (I have been married once before and had an 8 year non-married relationship). I am his first LTR and the only one he ever considered marriage with. He is also kind of old school in the fact that he knows nothing about jewelry, proposals, weddings, or what is an appropriate timeline for anything to do with relationships and he’s a bit of a turtle in every timeline department. It took him 3 months of seeing me every day to call me his girlfriend!
I know these things about him and I’m ok with that. As it stands we have never, ever discussed wedding dates or location. So about 3 days after the proposal I jumped my own gun and said “I was thinking about April, what do you think?” My assumption being that waiting almost a year (ok 10 months) would be plenty of time for him to feel comfortable about everything (I was ready to get married the first week of dating). And his reaction made it obvious that the subject had never entered his brain. lol. He almost stumbled over his tongue. And then he said maybe we should get married at his parent’s house. Which is in another country and that thought never entered my mind!
Obviously we need to get on the same page at some point. My only issue is that I know me. And I will not be happy with an open ended engagement for long. Now I know everyone’s relationships are different, but I just wonder…how long other bees were engaged before they started talking about dates? Reason for waiting?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
We waited a few months before setting a date. We dated for 5.5 years before getting engaged and it was nice to just bask in our newly-acquired status for a little bit. 🙂 We also knew we were probably going to have a long engagement so there was no rush in setting a date.
It sounds like you guys just need to sit down together and discuss your expectations. And maybe explain the process a bit to him. 🙂 I know DH didn’t know a damn thing about weddings (and had probably only been to 2 or 3 in his lifetime) so there were lots and lots of talks about what, who, where, when, etc.
Congrats and happy planning!!
Post # 4
@Mrs. Coyote: Thanks! I’ll have to get the kids gloves out or I’ll only confuse him. I don’t know that he’s ever been to a wedding.
Post # 5
we were officely talking about wedding dates the night we got engaged. he wanted to get married really soon but $$ wise we could not afford the wedding we wanted so we had a 2 year engagement which was perfect for us its enough time to save and plan a nice wedding.
Post # 6
@HisNightOwl2014: Thanks. Luckily we are not having a huge wedding, so nothing to save for. Maybe I’ll try bringing it up again in a couple weeks.
Post # 7
we started trying to pick a date right away. we were engaged in sept, looking at venues and ended up booking in dec for an oct wedding. we waited to pick a date til we found our location, and then made sure both the ceremony site and reception sites were avail before picking date. we did not have a specific date in mind, only a month or two we wanted.
Post # 8
@jadlnc: I was engaged two weeks max and we had a date. I suggested a date waaaaaaay out there because I, like your FH, was a bit uncomfortable. FH vetoed my date and moved it up a year closer. Now I wish we could pull it off sooner than we are currently planning!
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
We picked a date the night he proposed. Since his family and friends would have to travel to the US from another country, we chose based around their spring holidays (they are 90% teachers). We were able to tell people right away and they could start budgeting. We had to change the date ones due to visa reasons, so we just bumped it up until the summer holidays instead.
Post # 10
We had one immediately (before we announced being engaged to anyone)…I pretty much asked him “hey what do you think of this day.” It helps it is the day of our anniversary and it fell on a Saturday this year. So it was a no-brainer. We had it about 14 months out.
You can always pick the month or season you want and start seeing what dates they have available. Or try to find something with meaning.
Post # 11
@jadlnc: We knew what month we wanted to get married in but didn’t have a specific date in mind; we didn’t really care about the date. Our date ended up being set based on when our chosen venue was available. We chose the latest in September possible to better our chances of really beautiful wall weather.
Post # 12
@jadlnc: were not having a huge wedding our budget is 12,000 but things add up fast as i have found out lol so we had to save for a few years ; (
Post # 13
About two or three days after we got engaged, we picked a date we liked. And even though our engagement was 22 months long, it ended up working out that the date we liked worked! We didn’t book anything until a year after getting engaged.
Post # 14
We didn’t set a date for 5 months. We just talked about what times of the year were best for our work schedules, personal preferences, etc and came to an agreement on a timeframe. The ultimate date was decided by venue availability.
Post # 15
We got engaged January 12 and started throwing around ideas for dates and decided on a general timeframe. February 8 of this year we booked our venue for February 8 of next year so it took us less than a month to pick a date and book a venue.